Setting aside the few typos and formatting errors, as well as the editing changes I would make (all of which I tried really, really hard to ignore to just immerse myself into the story), I'd give Bryony a solid "B."
When I mentioned that to Sarah, she wanted to know why I didn't give the novel an "A," since I'd written the type of story I like to read. Here's why:
* I felt the pacing, in spots, could have been brisker and conversely
* I saw other sections where, even against editorial advice at the time, I really should have slowed down and elaborated a bit. I think some of the irregularities arose from the uneven editing and multiple editors when the book was in the hands of the small press. We streamlined the editing for Visage, but as I haven't read it yet, I can't comment on whether or not that approach made any difference.
* Also, I noticed a few areas where I "showing" would have been more effective than "telling." These areas, however, only momentarily pulled me out of the story.
Overall:
* I enjoyed and became attached to the characters, so I think I gave them sufficient depth.
* I had forgotten the subtle creepy elements, so those were nice surprises.
* I think I did justice to my original inspiration: a teen girl that becomes infatuated with the romanticism surrounding vampire legend.
* It "felt" like the Victorian vampire stories I've always enjoyed reading.
* It reminded me of the young adult novels I'd read growing up, and I liked that.
* I liked the timeless feel of the story. The present day is always in the past, so the story, I hope, will age well.
* I could simultaneously feel Melissa's pull toward John and my exasperation at her obsession, making me happy about my decision to write the novel in third person perfect. Past drafts had run the gamut of first person diary entries to third person points of view, which included perspectives from other characters.
Would I rewrite it? Other than removing the typos and formatting blunders, I would not. At some point, an author needs to declare her work as finished. My biggest fear had been that the writing would be so poor, I'd cringe at reading it. That did not occur. If others enjoy the story, too, awesome, if not, that's cool, too.
Now to find time to read Visage....
When I mentioned that to Sarah, she wanted to know why I didn't give the novel an "A," since I'd written the type of story I like to read. Here's why:
* I felt the pacing, in spots, could have been brisker and conversely
* I saw other sections where, even against editorial advice at the time, I really should have slowed down and elaborated a bit. I think some of the irregularities arose from the uneven editing and multiple editors when the book was in the hands of the small press. We streamlined the editing for Visage, but as I haven't read it yet, I can't comment on whether or not that approach made any difference.
* Also, I noticed a few areas where I "showing" would have been more effective than "telling." These areas, however, only momentarily pulled me out of the story.
Overall:
* I enjoyed and became attached to the characters, so I think I gave them sufficient depth.
* I had forgotten the subtle creepy elements, so those were nice surprises.
* I think I did justice to my original inspiration: a teen girl that becomes infatuated with the romanticism surrounding vampire legend.
* It "felt" like the Victorian vampire stories I've always enjoyed reading.
* It reminded me of the young adult novels I'd read growing up, and I liked that.
* I liked the timeless feel of the story. The present day is always in the past, so the story, I hope, will age well.
* I could simultaneously feel Melissa's pull toward John and my exasperation at her obsession, making me happy about my decision to write the novel in third person perfect. Past drafts had run the gamut of first person diary entries to third person points of view, which included perspectives from other characters.
Would I rewrite it? Other than removing the typos and formatting blunders, I would not. At some point, an author needs to declare her work as finished. My biggest fear had been that the writing would be so poor, I'd cringe at reading it. That did not occur. If others enjoy the story, too, awesome, if not, that's cool, too.
Now to find time to read Visage....
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