Showing posts with label The Last Goodbye. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Last Goodbye. Show all posts

Monday, October 23, 2023

Goodbye, Uncle Bill

There is a passage in Before The Blood: Bryony Simons that made me think of Bill Smolen whenever I stumbled upon it.

A tragedy has occurred in Munsonville, where Bryony Simons lives, and she is thinking back to how a childless couple, Orville Parks and Bertha Parks, stepped in to help raise her after the loss of her mother - and how dreary her life would have been without them.

And while thinking back, memories of things Mr. Parks had said to her come rushing back, ands she realizes all at once that he was wise, and she had missed that.

Mr. Parks wasn't a scholar, but he was full of wisdom, not lofty Biblical wisdom or even academic, philosophical wisdom, but the practical wisdom of a practical man.

I met Bill Smolen at St. Nicholas Orthodox Church in Homewood in the late 1980s. A Navy veteran, Bill never had children of his own. But he married a woman who had four, and he helped raise them and he helped raise many of those grandchildren that followed.

We got to know each other at church and through countless hours of really wonderful phone conversations. When Richard and I asked him to be Timothy's godfather, he became Uncle Bill to our family and a cherished family member as well.

Bill insisted on buying the christening outfit and, after the baptism, stopped out at least one Saturday a month (from Tinley Park to Joliet) with a box of doughnuts and plenty of conversation).

Timothy, of course, being a baby was unaware. But Bill established the relationship right from the beginning and extended that to all of my children.

Bill's responsibilities at his own home were huge, and Ron and I helped out financially from time to time, even buying Bill a used car when his broken down and he had no way to get to work and the grandchildren to and from school. And Bill insisted paying it back, which he did, fifty dollars at a time.

And when Ron developed dementia and we were losing our home, Bill insisted on giving Timothy money when he had to travel across the country for a culinary competition for Joliet Junior College - for we didn't have enough left over after bills to even buy Timothy new socks, let alone put cash in his pocket for the trip.

When Rebekah, also a JJC culinary arts student, had her practical final and could invite four family members, she invited Bill as one of them. Here he is below. Although Bill loved a good beef sandwich, he also enjoyed plate after plate of some very upscale food, impressed that the kids could make food like that.

 And afterwards...


...he went behind the scenes to shake their hands.

Bill was a great storyteller and told hilarious stories from his life, especially his Navy years, and had tons of practical wisdom to share.

But he was also a great collaborator. 

During the years I ran St. Nicholas' Sunday School and co-led the youth group with Ron, Bill was right there all the time.

He helped make pierogies with the kids for our St. Nicholas banquets.

He helped make pascha and Easter cheese to put into baskets.

If we ran out of eggs, he ran to the store.

If we ran out of butter, he ran to the store.

He was the first one at the church to light the ovens.

And he was one of the last ones out the door after the cleanup.

When a third of our Sunday School cast didn't show for church the we presented our Christmas play, he and Ron put on costumes and stood in for the shepherds, even kneeling in front of our makeshift managers. 

We worked plenty of spaghetti dinners with him over the years...




...and Bill managed the youth at those dinners, who bussed all the tables.

Rebekah who is shy, dyslexic, and has Asperger's, found it easy to talk with Bill. And Bill had no trouble communicating with her.

Sometimes the greatest among us are not the ones who brightly shine above the rest, who receive accolades upon accolades, or who influence the world in stand-out ways.

Sometimes the greatest among us are working hard, extremely hard, in the background and steadily supporting the people the people and causes in their lives.

That person was Uncle Bill, who passed away over the weekend.

May his memory always be eternal and his influence live out for generations to come.



Monday, August 28, 2023

Goodbye, Blue Cup

Jasmine gifted me with this blue coffee mug from Starbucks a few years ago.

It's a sturdy cup in my favorite blue, and I used to drink coffee from this mug more than all the others.

"Used to" is key.

Yesterday, while this mug was sitting on the counter with a bit of coffee ready to be warmed up in the microwave, I made the foolish decision to open the cabinet door for another item.

As I moved aside a ceramic mug with a lid, the lid came crashing down, hitting the mug, and spraying glass fragments everywhere.

Both the mug and the lid were destroyed.

The fact I have a dozen more mugs (at least) isn't the point.

Strange how we get attached to certain objects, isn't?

Now here's the stranger part.

Just last week, as I was drinking coffee from this mug, I thought to myself, "This mug won't last forever. One day, this mug will be gone."

And now it is.

It's a small, but good, reminder, of the impermanence of all material items.

So let's savor while we can, relinquish when the time comes, and cultivate and cherish the things that last.

Have a great Monday!



Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Another Goodbye

My oldest step-grandson passed away yesterday morning. He was only twenty-three.

Please keep his family and ours in your thoughts and prayers.

Not just because we've had a lot of loss this year (and this month).

But also because another young life is gone too soon.







Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Goodbye, Theodora

About a month ago, Daniel brought his Teddy Bear hamster, Theodora, up to my office So I could help him clean her eyes.

They were all "gunky" and that never happened with her.


So I swabbed the little eyes with a moistened cotton swab until she could open then. And right after work the next day, Daniel drove her to an animal hospital that saw exotics. 

The drive should have taken about forty minutes. But it was now rush hour. The animal hospital was also first-come, first-serve and not by appointment.

He waited a couple of hours and was told to come back the next day. So while he was still on the road, I started calling for other options.

It turned out Plainfield Animal Hospital DID see exotics (we didn't know that), but only on days when a special veterinarian was onsite. And today was the day!

Unfortunately, the exotic veterinarian was leaving in twenty minutes. Could Daniel get there on time?

I called Daniel. He thought thirty was more reasonable. 

So I called Plainfield Animal Hospital again. And I was told they could make thirty minutes work.

Daniel arrived forty minutes later... and found the veterinarian had waited for him.

The veterinarian had good news.

All of Theodora's vitals were excellent. So the veterinarian prescribed an antibiotic just in case. She said Theodora might need blood work to rule out kidney failure (apparently common in hamsters) if Theodora did not improve.

Daniel took Theodora home, gave her the first dose, and rewarded her with a sliver of broccoli.

However, Theodora did not improve.

Nor she did not get worse...at first.

She handled the antibiotic well. The discharge in her eyes lessened. 

But then she started to swell.

Daniel thought maybe she gained weight because some of her activity had lessened. He had brought her home at five months, and she was now two years old. That's pretty old for a hamster, actually.

If you think about it, she's enjoyed not one, but two Christmases with us.

Theodora finished the antibiotic. The next day, the discharge in her eyes returned. at full force.

So Daniel took her back to the first animal hospital early in the day and waited to be seen. That veterinarian also had good news for us.

Theodora's vitals were still great. So the veterinarian prescribed another antibiotic and agreed she should have tests to rule out kidney failure if this antibiotic didn't fix the problem.

And it didn't. 

But the swelling went away.

In the meantime, Theodora still loved her broccoli. She still did hamster things. 

But she did them more slowly, less often.

Theodora also neglected her grooming. 

On Saturday, Daniel and Rebekah took Theodora to a different animal hospital, one that specialized in hamsters. This drive was an hour away.

Theodora was sedated for blood and urine tests and some imaging. 

The diagnosis? A urinary tract infection. 

So she was hospitalized for forty-eight hours with supplemental oxygen and IV antibiotics. The positive news was that her vitals were still good, and she was not septic, amazing considering the stubbornness of the infection.

The plan was this. If she improved, Daniel would pick her up after work on Monday and take her home.

However, if Theodora did not improve, well, it was time for a different conversation.

Rebekah asked what I thought. 

Well, I thought the fact Theodora had good vitals and wasn't septic were good signs.

However, the fact she had a UTI that two antibiotics designed to combat UTIs didn't cure was very worrisome.

So I was fifty-fifty.

But we were in luck again. On Sunday the animal hospital called to say Theodora had improved slightly. 

Hurray! It felt just like Christmas!

The holiday feeling was short-lived.

Early on Monday morning, the animal hospital called Daniel again. Theodora had passed during the night.

The results of her imaging had also returned. Theodora actually had a tumor in one of her kidneys, most like the cause of all her trouble.

Daniel made cremation arrangements through that hospital and had a paw print made. Theodora will come home to us in two weeks in a much different form than when she left just three days ago.

We are heartbroken.

And we are heartbroken not just because we have, in less than a year, acquired quite a bit of urns in our house.

Frances.

My father.

Ron.

And now Theodora.

Not to mention we had another death in the family just a couple of weeks ago.

And let's not forget Faith is still on palliative care with small cell lymphoma.

I mean, those are all good reasons to be heartbroken.

But we are now also heartbroken because this tiny creature, who pitter-pattered her teeny feet into our home and into our hearts, is now gone.

And her passing has left a hole bigger than the wall-to-wall contraption in Daniel's room where she lived.

I'm sure Theodora's soul has scampered away to the place where all good hamster souls go.

But I hope, as she forever eats through fields of broccoli unconfined by rolling hamster balls, she pauses from time to time and remembers the human family that loved her to the end.