One Great Editing Tip

While taking some acting lessons from Devon Ford, we spent one day working on one character in the piece at a time.

The scene we were practicing had seven speaking roles (and a few non-speaking) all in the same twelve-minute piece. It makes for a dynamic reading, but crisp differentiation in all the roles when delivering it is essential when the author is portraying all of them.

So Devon had me read one role at a time, while she spoke the lines of the rest to help with proper pacing. This way, I could work on the "voice" of the character without the other ones in my head.

Since the BryonySeries prequel Before the Blood is composed of several novels, each story arc has its own cast of characters. When I'm making my editing passes, I'm going to remember this.

Here's the tip: read through the novel's dialogue one character at a time to ensure that each "voice" stays true to the voice.

Stuck on Dialogue? Ask Yourself These Questions

You want a character to speak, but you're not sure how to phrase it, Here's a couple of muse joggers:

1) What might that character say?

     Like real people, characters don't have the same interests. When your character does speak, what does he/she like to offer?

2) Why is this person speaking?

     Like real people, characters may speak in certain situations and remain silent during others. What types of situations provoke this character to speak?

3) Is this HOW he or she would say it?

     Like real people, characters use certain tones when speaking, although perhaps not the same tones all the tone. Is he condescending? Authoritative? Shy? Angry? Sad? Bursting with joy? And how does your character react in those circumstances?

4) To whom is this character speaking?

   Again...if your character is a child, how does THIS child speak to a parent? His best friend? His teacher? The school bully? (And the same is true for the parent, BF, teacher, bully, etc.).

5) If you're still having difficult, take another look at the character. He/she might not be fully developed. Of course, minor characters don't need the comprehensive development major characters do, but they shouldn't feel flat, either, such as the young lady in the selection below, her only appearance in the entire story.

And don't forget beats. The gestures your character uses when speaking help enliven and underscore the words.

Happy writing!




Still, Kellen should have eaten someone before their little jaunt. Control, he told himself. Control, control. John was performing in two hours, and he couldn't do very well if he was dead.

"Manicure, sir?"

A young lady was standing on the steps of the historical cathedral as they stepped out. A roll of music was tucked in her arm. She wore two braids. Her eyes were cast down.

Kellen and John exchanged glances and kept walking. John could do better than that. Moreover, the women paid him.

("Before the Blood, Kellen's Story," Chapter 9: The Suite Life)

Some Quick Tips for Distinguishing Voice

We're currently working on dialogue at our monthly workshops. On Friday night, one writer, who is working on a series for his granddaughter, said all his teen girls sound the same.

So we worked on ways to make characters of similar ages that know each other sound different. Here are some ideas:

1) Emphasize their differences.

    Even very similiar characters are not identical. One scene from Bryony I often read as an example has four girls in 1970's Munsonville hanging around in a bedroom talking about the mansion restoration and the rumors of it being haunted while Katie, who hopes to become a beautician, practices with electric rollers on Julie's hair. Three of the girls have grown up together in the village, and one is the new girl from the Chicago suburbs. None sound alike. Here's why:

   One girl is smart, skeptical, and idealistic about her crush and unrealistic her future; one is goal-oriented, direct to the point of blunt, and open to supernatural possibilities; one is immature, easily swayed, and fearful regarding ghosts; and the new girl (our protagonist) is mostly listening and taking it all in. 

   Focusing on these differences will direct the dialogue. Why?

2) We all speak from our perspective.

     Who we are as people, our personalities and interests, direct our words: what we choose to say (or not say), how we say it, when we say it, why we say it, and to whom we say it - and even the gestures we use when speaking. 

    Keeping this in mind will help you write dialogue that is specific to your character. Dialogue should never be a simple exchange of information because conversation is never that simple. 

Here's part of the scene:

“Me neither,” Julie said. “The trouble with Munsonville is that no one thinks past fishing boats. I want something more than night crawlers and dead carp.”

“Like what?” Katie reached for the comb.

“Like anything that requires some brain power. Like a car, maybe.”

Melissa was surprised at Julie’s scornful remarks. She thought all the villagers  lived contentedly in Munsonville.

Ann turned a page. “I’ll be too busy traveling around the world.”

Julie tossed her head and snorted.

“Hold still!” Katie struggled to fasten the roller.

“Not if,” Julie snapped her fingers, “Jack Cooper looked twice at you.”

Ann blushed, still looking down. “That’s not true. I’m marrying someone so rich and ambitious, I’ll own homes in three countries and eat gourmet food every night.”

“I’d rather get a job and make my own money, thank you.”

“Can’t you get a job?” Melissa then remembered Munsonville had no industry.

“Not unless you slave for a family business. My mom works the information desk at the nature center, and my dad sells used cars in Jensen. By the time they restore Simons Mansion, I’ll be in college, thank God.”

Katie rolled another strand of hair and secured it with a pin. “Do you think the ghost will attack once they start fixing it?”

Ann’s blue eyes were stern. “There’s no ghost. Grow up, Katie.”

Julie shook her head in exasperation and a roller fell out of her hair. “You’ve got to keep an open mind. What about the stories?”

“Mass hysteria,” Ann said.

“Maybe, except for the evidence backing their claims.”

Melissa stiffened and held her breath. Did Julie mean Kimberly?

Ann looked down her nose at Julie and snickered. “Not nutty Tina Swanson?”

"Who’s she?” Melissa said.

“Last summer,” Ann said, “Tina’s family rented one of the lakefront fishing cottages. No one liked Tina because she bragged that her red hair made her psychic, After a month, Tina’s parents went to Uncle Gabe. Tina said a dark man in black broke into her room while she was sleeping. So, he posted a guard.”

“Did they see anyone?” Melissa asked.

“Of course not,” Ann said, giving her a funny look.

“My parents said Tina was just spoiled and looking for attention,” Katie said.

“Or maybe she did have ESP,” Julie said. “Maybe everyone missed what she saw. How do you know nothing comes into your room at night?”

“I hope not!” Katie shuddered. “There. You’re free for fifteen minutes.

("Bryony," Chapter 10: When Good Dreams Go Bad)

     

BryonySeriesThrowback Thursday: Pathetic First Attempts at Writing Dialogue

Monday, November 15, 2010

Pathetic First Attempts at Writing Dialogue

As a features writer, I love incorporating quotes from sources into my stories. I rarely ask people for a “quote,” because I think the best quotes come from spontaneous conversation during the course of the interview. People say the most amazing things when they aren’t paying strict attention to their words.

So how does this relate to Bryony?

Believe it or not, the fact that I would have to supply all that terrific dialogue didn’t immediately occur to me. When I began writing Bryony as a novella, I started the story on page one and kept going (and not very far, either). Once I realized I had a novel, I changed tactics and started composing scenes, not necessarily in order. I soon ran into trouble.

Speaking for Melissa and her family and friends was easy; the vampires were much harder, even though their lines had tumbled about my head for years. How exactly did John Simons, cold and reserved, sound on paper? How would the shrewd Kellen Wechsler choose his words?

I decided to practice on a conversation between Melissa and the ever so charming and charismatic Henry Matthews. I figured it would be easy because Henry was so outgoing. I wrote and rewrote their encounter until it sounded right to me and then, heart pounding, read it aloud.

Oh the horror of really bad dialogue!

Good thing I didn’t read it loud enough for anyone to hear. If it was twenty years earlier and I was less motivated, that moment would have buried any further fiction writing attempts. However, at nearly age fifty, time is not on my side, so a couple antacids later, I set my jaw and was back at it.

Eventually, I wrote something that resembled what I heard inside me. In fact, this particular scene is a favorite of those who have read the book. Buoyed by this initial success, I wrote all of Henry’s dialogue before moving onto another character. Of course, Henry would have preferred I eliminate John altogether, but that is a different story.

I still love great dialogue, and now I’m awed that, with plenty of hard work, I can sometimes write it, too.