You Cannot Make This Up

So the "fun" for Lucas' graduation weekend probably started when we decided I should apply for an expeditated passport since I couild not get an appointment for a Real ID.

Naturally I could not find any copies of my birth certificate. So my mother, who also lives in North Carolina, found a copy from 1967 and overnighted it to me in package so sealed for safety we had trouble opening it ourselves.

We spent the money for the expeditation and breathed a sigh of relief. 

In the meantime, here's what this past week has looked like across the family, the Illiniois family and the North Carolina family: COVID, two ER trips for two different family members (including me; the barium in the photo is mine), an ER plumbing issue, power outage in ninety-three degrees, a romantic breakup, missing carryon bag with medication that had to be checked (found later destroyed), another illness overnight that prevented a grandparent from attending graduation, and one person in North Carolina that overslept and missed the graduation altogether.

Then we had trouble loading the virtual link and missed Lucas walking in (but we were jubilantly present when he received his diploma and watched him walk out as new graduate of the Class of 2025.

So this afternoon, we will have a Zoom celebration, and I will read Lucas my "Message to the Class of 2020," which I read to my two nieces at our Zoom celebration of their high school and college graduations in May 2020, because these same sentiments apply.

The one thing that did work out for us this week is that we all commiserated together.

This above list of "experiences" doesn't even make believable fiction. But it's all true, and it all happened to us over these past few days.

But those are the key words: "we" and "us."

Whenever we go through these trials, we remind each other that some people don't have "we" and "us." 

In fact, WE see it all the time in the ER: people who are there alone, without "we" and "us."

Which is worse? Being alone and having everything go right and according to plan? Or having everything go wrong but having it all go wrong with togetherness?

While you're mulling on that question, you've probably missed Chekhov's gun.

Well, that's because I'm missing it, too.

I'm referring to the "expedited" passport.

I received an email an hour ago. It should be here on Wednesday.

Happy Monday!

Fifty-Two Minutes of Summer

"She was the lake."

This is the opening line of the third chapter in the third installment of the BryonySeries novel Before The Blood.

And it kept running through my head through the fifty-two minutes I spent immersed in Falls Lake, North Caroline a few weeks ago.

I don't know if early childhood experiences shaped my love for water or if that love is something innate

All I know is that summer, for me, is associated with water, and summer is never summer without swimming, lakes, oceans.

I've been married twice and both husbands were afraid of water. So out of respect, we never engaged in activities that might trigger that fear.

I didn't travel during the pandemic, so no Falls Lake for me.

The last time I saw Falls Lake was 2019. And I remember thinking as I paddled in the waters that a year was a long time, but not really, that 2020 would be here before I knew it.

Well, we all know what happened in 2020.

But then circumstances prevented my from traveling in 2021.

As the summer of 2022 was closing, I couldn't believe another summer was to vanish without being truly summer.

But Timothy and I finally had an opportunity to fly to Raleigh for a couple of days shortly after Labor Day to see my father who is not well.

Four of us (Timothy, Sarah, Lucas, and me) had our lunch one day by the lake. And then we had fifty-two minutes to enjoy the lake before we had to leave.

Timothy snapped this photo shortly before we headed to the restrooms to change.

Fifty-two minutes isn't a long time.

But it was fifty-two minutes I didn't think I'd have this year.

And it must do until 2023.

If All Goes Well...

 ...this will be my last blog post until Monday.

For the last nine months, Timothy and I have tried to go to North Carolina to see family, including Sarah and my grandson Lucas and especially my father, whom I've not seen seen since my last trip in August in 2019 and is not doing well.

My father, Loran Scho0nbachler,was working up until the shutdown. He is now in a nursing home with a number of health issues, including Alzheimer's.

If you see a blog post tomorrow, it means we canceled again. Please send up good thoughts that we will be up, up, up, and away in the morning.

Now in the meantime, if you're really looking for something to read or make, please explore the BryonySeries website.

You will find plenty of good books to read and plenty of activities on our calendar of events, which I'm planning to update today.

Three books are not (yet) listed in our store, but you can buy them from Amazon.

These are.

Cornell Dyer and the "Mistical" Being

Cornell Dyer and the Calcium Deficient Bones

Call of the Siren.

And if you read a book, we can chat about it when I return.

Over coffee - virtual, if necessary.

Lucas

All of life, I think is an opportunity. 

Hold that thought.

Many of my peers have regular contact with their grandchildren and even regularly scheduled times they see them. They spend their days with their grandchildren while their parents work or they keep their grandchildren on the weekends.

I have a lot of grandchildren. And I don't see them in person that often - and certainly not in 2020.

Several reasons play into that. Most of them live in Grundy County, and we have conflicting work and school schedules.

Visiting with some of them is complicated (although it does happen) due to issues between their divorced or otherwise estranged parents.

Most of my step-grandchildren and my oldest grandson live out of state.

Today, I am focusing on that oldest grandson. His name is Lucas and he will start high school in the fall.

Last night while I was on the phone with his mother Sarah, my oldest daughter, he was impatient for her to finish so we could talk. That may not sound earth shattering, but we're talking about a teenage boy itching to chat with his grandma. That relationship happened long distance and it didn't happen overnight.

Here is a photo of us from 2017. He looks way different now and most likely is taller than I am, too.

Even as a baby and toddler, Lucas was strong-willed and very independent, with a bit of attitude mixed into that, so building that relationship wasn't easy, especially considering he lived far away, and neither his family nor mine had the resources for visiting.

He was still pretty young when Sarah helped me launch the BryonySeries, but he was super proud of it and liked to tell people I was an author. He also dressed up very nicely at our launch, which was a fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties.

He created and sent me a card about vampires and made up and recorded a song on a special app that went away - so the song did, too.

The first year I could afford to visit him was 2015. He tried to establish his dominance from the start (which failed), but his "attitude" persisted, so finding positive ways to bond was challenging was that first year. 

But we had them.

You can see glimpses of his personality here.

But we also had some great building blocks, too. You should have seen the look on stunned surprise his face when I spontaneously bought a video game he wanted. Just because I was the grandmother and could. Just so Lucas knew I was whole-heartedly in his corner.

Or the way he wrestled with the Pop-Tarts.

But my favorite video is the one I took of him the following year when we spent a day at the ocean. I was sitting on the sand before we left, just watching him, and decided to capture that moment on my phone, realizing how different he'd be the following year - which he was.

I called it, "On the Brink of Fourth Grade."

That fall, I decided to become pen pals with my grandchildren. Each month, I sent a littele note or little surprise (stickets, coloring pages, small toys, etc.) in the mail to help establish us as grand,mother/grandchildren.

And, occasionally, the grandkids, Lucas, too, wrote back to me.

You saw the photo from 2017.

In 2018, plane fare soared, and I stayed home. But that January, for old Calendar Christmas on January 7th, I gave my grandkids a Christmas present of experience: we made bread bears together.

Lucas made his remotely. We shared pictures with each other on a private social media page I started for the grandkids - because it's important for them to bond, too.

The last trip was 2019. We arrrived at 1 a.m. and he greeted me in a deep voice and open arms.

We had reached the turning point.

That week, Lucas spent a good portion of it camping with his father. My daughters and I spent a day at the campground, too, swimming, cooking out, etc.

When the time came to start the food, my daughters encouraged me to stay in the water (my favorite place to be), while they did the cooking, and Lucas offered "to keep an eye on me."

We swam back and forth for an hour, just talking about stuff. It was the best time, and I could never have dreamed at the time that the following year we'd be in the middle of a world-wide pandemic.

Social media helps. He sends quick texts and photos on Snapchat (his bitmoji wears a crown and sunglasses because Lucas is still Lucas).

And last night, he interrupted Sarah a couple times on the phone because he wanted to talk. When his turn came, I carried the conversation for a while because he didn't have a particular subject in mind. He just wanted the connection, although he didn't say that.

So we talked about his return to soccer and the weapons he likes to make from branches in the woods. We talked video games (I find them boring and don't play them) and why I prefer writing.

But he actually verbalized his enjoyment of games (no revelatios) and suggested an RPG version I might like (Fable?) - with the offer of teaching me how to play it the next time I make it to his house. 

By suggesting a one-player, role playing game with a highly developed story line tells me that Lucas has paid attention to my own interests, too.

Yes, a thirteen-year-old boy.

We also talked about another family member he likes to tease. And I shared with him some insight that this person actually doesn't like the teasing, which he didn't know. We talked about ways to be supportive instead without losing that bond.

I cut the conversation short after thirty minutes because I needed a little down time before getting ready bed. He didn't understand that at first. So I explained it, and he got it. His body, he said, gets tried before his mind does. And it can take him a long time to fall asleep. I understand, which is why I need the down time. My mind won't shut off otherwise.

Back to "all of life is oppportunity."

I didn't build a daily or weekly bond with Lucas. In fact, only babysat him for one afternoon many years ago, and we worked on his math, which wasn't fun for him.

I've only visited him in person four times. Just once in that time period has he come to Joliet - for Rebekah's college graduation.

Now I could have chosen to focus on what I didn't have. Or I could choose to focus on the opportunities for building a lifelong relationship. Because although time with grandhildren is important when they're young, they won't be young for long.

Those grandchildren will spend most of their lives as adults. And we will relate to them for most of our lives as one adult to another, which is important to remember. 

The next time I see Lucas, he won't be on the brink of fourth grade anymore. He will be on the brink of manhood.

And I couldn't be more proud of him.

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: A Few Raleigh Videos

Thursday, September 3, 2015

A Few Raleigh Videos

Playing Chutes and Ladders with Lucas, Rebekah, Sarah

The lazy river at Buffalo Road Aquatic Center

Lucas bowls a bumper strike

Lucas makes a wish at Goodberry's Frozen Custard

Walking/biking the trail behind Sarah's house

At Rum Runners

A view from the Stegall boat

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Where Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Where Truth is Stranger Than Fiction: The Continuing Tale of Lucas Stegall vs. John-Peter Simotes

Tomorrow, the long version.

 

Today, consider this page from Visage, Chapter 23: No Holds Barred:

John glanced at John-Peter, and Melissa fell silent. The boy busied himself with the string beans. One at a time, he pinched them between his forefinger and his thumb, leaned back his head, and dropped them down his throat.

His actions unnerved Melissa. “Stop that right now!”

John-Peter ignored her and opened his mouth wider for another green bean.

“John, make him stop. He’ll choke.”

“John-Peter, mind your manners at the dinner table.”

“They’re snakes,” the boy said as he picked up another one and gave it the same treatment. He smacked his lips and turned cunning eyes at Melissa. “You want me to eat meat. Well, snakes are meat. Right, Father?” 

And, Lucas (who has never read Visage, although he has read parts of Bryony and tries to sell the book to everyone he meets):

 

BTW, note the color of his shirt. Just sayin.'

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Lucas Makes a Vampire Valentine

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Bryony Artist Wednesday: Lucas Makes a Vampire Valentine

 

On Monday, I received the following text Sarah Stegall, Bryony's online administrator:

 

Lucas made a Valentine for a vet at the library. It sports a vampire bat heart, polka dots, and a coonskin cap. Some veteran is going to be pretty happy or creeped out, LOL!

 

Yesterday, Rebekah noticed as I hit "publish," that yesterday's blog was the 999th post. A friend commented that today's post should be epic. I already planned to run Lucas' Valentine today. Anyone that knows Lucas would agree there is no one more epic than he.

 

 

 

 

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Raleigh Recap, In Words and Links

Monday, August 31, 2015

Raleigh Recap, In Words and Links

This blog became poignant in the retelling. Rebekah took so many photos and videos, Sarah and I backed off, figuring we could share. Last night, while attempting to upload said videos and photos, Rebekah's phone wiped her SD card clean.

Yes, that's right. Most of our pictorial summary of our trip is permanently gone. And now, the recap.


We had just claimed baggage at Raleigh-Durham International Airport (http://www.rdu.com/), and I had just swallowed my anitbiotic when Sarah and Lucas appeared, with Lucas running excitedly up to greet us.

BTW, this is what caused the antibiotic reaction: https://umem.org/educational_pearls/487/. Apparently, even topical alcohol (in lotions, slathered over the body). I stopped using such topical products when I started the drug, but seeing that I had already applied them that day...well, not a fun reaction. But we fixed it.

After lunch at Papa's Pizza & Subs (http://www.papaspizzaandsubs.com/) and a walk with Lucas to buy some much-needed coffee at the nearby by Sola Coffee Café  (http://www.solacoffee.com/) and bring it back to restaurant, we went grocery shopping, and then past her former house on Waterbury Lane so I could envision it, and then back to Sarah's for a tour of her beautiful manufactured and very open house in the woods.

BTW, Sola has fantastic atmosphere, and it's one of my to-go places when I return to Raleigh. Another BTW: Each and every time we stopped somwhere for coffee for me (after the first day, it was always Starbucks because it was always nearby whereever we were at), Lucas tried conning the counter person out of an iced coffee. It became our predictable ritual.

During dinner preparations, I played ping-pong with Lucas. After dinner, Lucas, Sarah, Rebekah, and I played Chutes and Ladders, the first time I had played Chutes and Ladders with the girls in a VERY long time. ;)

On Saturday, we went Good Will hopping to two stores (and "hiding" stuff on the racks at closing time for the next day), stopping to have lunch at Subway.

More on the fun of Good Will hopping with Sarah and Rebekah (and only with Sarah and Rebekah) on a later post.

Later that evening, we took a walk down the Neuse River Trail (http://neuserivertrail.com/) behind her house, with Lucas riding his bike, stopping at Poole Road to turn around because it was getting dark. Sarah promised we would go farther next time. Sarah said it was supposed to the longest connecting trail either in the state or in all fifty states, when it's finished.

On Sunday, we attended All Saints Antiochean Orthodox Church (http://www.allsaintsnc.org/)
 and back to Good Will to try on the stuff we hid the previous day. Then we went to Triangle Town Center
(http://www.triangletowncenter.com/) checked out items we could not get at Good Will, and then decided Wal-Mart had the better deal (although we did buy a box of Cinnabons to take home. At Wal-Mart, Lucas gave me a ride on a shopping cart, and we also bought his school supplies.

On Monday, we went to the Atlantic Ocean:  Johnnie Mercer Pier Pier at Wrightsville Beach (http://www.johnniemercerspier-nc.com/). Having been married to two husbands that are afraid of water, I have  not been in a swimming pool or any body of water since my teens, so this part was extremely important to Sarah, as I love water very, very much.

BUT, I am allergic to the UVA rays in sun, and this particular antibiotic increased sun sensitivity (naturally). So I happily lay under the awning, read Bryony, and listened to the waves, while everyone else frolicked in the water. At five o'clock, I reslathered the sunscreen (zinc oxide and titanium dioxide blocks UVA) and headed to the water.

The first wave washed over me when Sarah yelled out, "Something bit me!" I thought she was joking, but that Rebekah and then several people around us echoed that. We collected Lucas, scampered from the water, and surmised the girls had been stung by jellyfish. Sarah produced a credit card, scraped their legs to remove the stinger, and broke camp quickly, with the help from one very kind man.

Off we went to Medac quick care (http://medachealth.com/) for treatment and vinegar soaks, with me reassuring Lucas that his mother wasn't going to die, and Lucas trying to sell Bryony to the staff. I felt badly that the girls had been stung; Sarah felt badly that I didn't have time in the water.

Sidebar: We learned at quick care that the staff treat several jellyfish stings a day (one woman before us had run in screaming), and that the tide brings them in around five o'clock (figures). We had thumped ourselves on the head for not deciding to pack overnight bags, and I had already envisioned myself getting up early in the morning, before everyone was awake, for a nice dip in the ocean before the sun's rays could hurt me. Well, we learned at quick care that also would have been a bad idea. The sharks are out until nine a.m.

Then it was home for reading (me) and TV and vinegar soaks for the girls.

On Tuesday, we went to the Buffalo Road Aquatic Center (https://www.raleighnc.gov/projects/content/PRecRecreation/Articles/AquaticsHoursOfOperation.html). We were supposed to attend Lucas' family-style Taekwondo class later that night, but after playing on the three-story water slide, in the vortex, chasing each other in the lazy river, and water basketball, Lucas really needed some down time, so had a mellow evening.

On Wednesday, after watching Dirty Dancing (which I had never seen), all the while musing on the fact that I was watching a favorite movie of both my daughters, we went to Waffle House (where Lucas bought me a Waffle House coffee) and then to return Lucas' Nintendo DS at Toys R Us.

While there, Lucas really, really, really wanted the new Sonic Colors game. He 'bout fell over when I offered to buy it for him by saying, "Merry Christmas." Except for mice creams (http://bryonyseries.blogspot.com/2011/01/handprints-and-mice-creams.html), and our annual St. Nicholas drawing, I have never bought him a present.

Next on the agenda was bowling at Buffalo Lanes North, where Lucas celebrated his eighth birthday (as we were leaving, Sarah's former dance teacher Mary Ann Corcoran called, apologizing that she didn't call in time for my storydeadline. I interviewed her that night, added her to the story (http://www.theherald-news.com/2015/08/13/an-extraordinary-life-joliet-woman-exemplified-biblical-command/auhh09s/), and she and Sarah spent some time catching up), and Goodberry's Frozen Custard.

At Goodberry's Lucas and I went searching the strip mall parking lot for loose change to throw into the wishing well. We found none, Lucas got bored, so Sarah supplied the change, and we made wishes. We walked off the ice cream by walking down to Neuse River Trail to Anderson Point Park (www.raleighnc.gov/parks/content/ParksRec/Articles/Parks/AndersonPoint.html), which is beautifully open, landscaped, and has this really quaint retreat house for community events and for rent.

On Thursday, the original plan was roller skating. However, Lucas seemed like he needed a quiet day. So
took a ride to see the Sarah's first Raleigh home on Upchurch Subdivision on Jordan Road. We parked in a former neighbor's driveway (with permission), walked to the woods (where there are old graves from the Hobby family from the nineteenth century) behind her old house and then over to the playground, where there was a boy playing, the first time ever, Sarah said.

Lucas invited the boy to come with us to Lake Benson Park in Garner (http://www.visitraleigh.com/listings/Lake-Benson-Park/61309/), where we were gong to have lunch. The boy's mother, just a couple years younger than I and from the Ukraine, was wary, as she did not know us, but that was not the case an hour later. We talked, friended each other on Facebook, and left with her promising Sarah to send an invitatino to her son's birthday party, which would be held the first part of September.

Amongst all this, I also called Joliet Regional Airport for one last source to this story (http://www.theherald-news.com/2015/08/05/manhattan-nonagenarian-has-been-flying-74-years/avhyq3a/), as everyone I needed to contact was on vacation.

We then went to Lake Benson Park, had a picnic lunch in the pavilion, and then walked by the lake, where Lucas showed off his proficiency at skipping rocks. We walked through the woods, checked out the turtles, and then went to Pullen Park, founded in 1887 (http://www.raleighnc.gov/parks/content/ParksRec/Articles/Parks/Pullen.html) and then rode a carousel built in 1912.

We rode the carousel, invited three boys playing at the park to ride then train with us, and then went to Lucas' school to meet his teacher. That night, after filing the story, te girls and I went to Rum Runners (http://www.rumrunners.com/raleigh/), the little piano bar that Sarah loves and where she spent at least one of her birthdays.

The girls, heads together, sent up requests. The guys' styles reminded me of Elton John's Get Back, Honky Cat, which the younger pianist sent to the older one, as he was unfamiliar with it. Old people's music? I guess.

A stripper from the bar next door thought Sarah and I were twins...but she and I, Rebekah and I, and she and Rebekah heard that everywhere we went. Too funny!

Afterwards, we had a later dinner at Woody's (http://woodyscitymarket.com/), which served the tenderest chicken strips anywhere. I am such a kid!

On Friday, Sarah's husband took part of the day off so we could go to Falls Lake in Wake Forest and Durham (http://www.ncparks.gov/Visit/parks/fala/main.php). We drifted past the place they camp, swam, ate lunch, zipped around, and went tubing, my first time and tons of fun. Next year, Sarah said it will be wakeboarding. Can't wait!

The afternoon ended earlier than we would have liked because Sarah had to be at Lucas' school before four o'clock in order to sign him up for before-school care. We talked to his teacher again, and then Sarah and I reviewed her wish list. Sarah took some items, and I pulled "stickers."

Then we cleaned up and headed over to The Pit Authentic BBQ ( http://www.thepit-raleigh.com/) for a rib and brisket dinner...and some outstanding collard greens! This was the ride where Lucas and I sat in the back seat watching the video to one of his favorite songs (http://bryonyseries.blogspot.com/2015/08/house-of-gold-twenty-one-pilots-lyrics.html).

Sometime I ate caused me to flush and my heart to race; we think it was the jalapenos in appetizer cornbread, a normal reaction, except mine was extreme and put the only damper on the entire week.

However,that was nothing to the seizure the man at the next table had to us. The paramedics were called, poor man, although he appeared to be stable when they left. I hope everything turned out okay.

Back at the house, Sarah and Co. opened up their St. Nicholas gifts that had gone through a shipping mishap. Too keyed up to sleep that night, we left the house at five-thirty the next morning for the return flight home. I was extremely sorry to leave so soon, but the realization of something struck me in those wee hours of no sleepand filled me with elation.

I'll explain Wednesday...along with why I pulled "stickers."

On the Brink of Fourth Grade

Raleigh Bound!

On Friday afternoon, Rebekah and I fly out to North Caroline to spend a week with Sarah and her family.

To prepare, I am attempting to get nearly and extra week's worth of work done (which will run the week I am gone), and Rebekah has graciously picked up my portion of the household duties to fee up some of my time. She also is the travel coordinator and suitcase packer. I literally will only have to get in the car when it's time to leave.

What will we do out there? Who knows? Last year, I had two goals: to read through my BryonySeries as a series and to do whatever Sarah and Lucas (my grandson) wanted to do. We didn't make it through Sarah's list last year, so she started another before we left. I assume we'll just pick up where we left off.

One change from last year: Bertrand the Mouse will accompany us wherever we go. We plan to take lots of pictures of him so we can finally get some books released.

So really, this year's goals look like last year's goals. Posting may be spotty next week, but we'll see.

Have a great day. :)

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: "Monsters, Witch Cats, Ghosts,............Vampires?" By Sarah Stegall

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Monsters, Witch Cats, Ghosts,............Vampires?

My 3 year old considers himself to be very knowledgeable on all things spooky. He thinks it would be so very cool to have a monster living under his bed, a nooth grush on his tooth brush, Lord Licorice as a buddy, and he stares at spiders after he's killed them to see if they really have eight legs. He has a vivid imagination and keeps me very busy.

With living in a neighborhood now instead of off a dark country road, he's taken in the flood of Halloween decorations that have been popping up at every house. Halloween happens to be my favorite holiday and I think it's wearing off on my son. He happily announces the latest neighbor to hang spiders and purple lights over snacks.

Yesterday I took him to Walmart to oodle all the decorations and costumes. I had promised him he could pick out one decoration (we have a strict budget and I have lots of Halloween related items) to join the festivities. After playing with an enormous rat, a styroform skull, and somedangly spiders and skeletons, I was sure he was going to select the window stickers. He loves stickers and they had witch cats (an absolute favorite). Instead, he picked out an outdoor ghost. It moves up and down by motion sensors and wails like a sick banshee. I hate it. He LOVES it!

The shelf below had basically the same thing in Count Dracula theme. "What's him?," he asks. "The count, he's a vampire," I replied. "Ohhhhhh, like in Damma's (grandma's) book!" So we talk vampire. He tells me it's a monster that tries to drink blood. Not any blood, neck blood! Swell, another monster he knows about.

Today the ghost hangs from the window. Today also marks the most times I've heard, "I want to drink your blood," followed by neck grabbing and sloppy fake bites. Let the scary fun commence!

Meanwhile, it's a Green Christmas Eve for Lucas