Sue's Diner: Recipe for Happiness

I featured this week's recipe on the BryonySeries blog back in 2012. 

I featured it on the Sue's Diner page on Jan. 1, in honor of the new year that is 2025.

And I'm featuring it today, while I'm in the throes of a new "mystery malady."

In a weird illness plot twist, this one is the most anxiety-provoking and the one with intermittent abatement of symptoms.

But do you think I'm focusing on those in-between times of symptom abatement?

Also, 2025 is already a hard year for many people I know. So maybe we just need to pause to whip up a simple, six ingredient, two-step recipe for happiness.

Bertrand, I think, would agree. Especially if we serve it with cheese.

This recipe does not appear in the BryonySeries cookbook: Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles from "Bryony," which is a permanent fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties.

It's simply my wish for you today,

Check out the recipe at bryonyseries.com/sue-s-diner-food.

If you have any questions or comments, email us at bryonyseries@gmail.com. 

By the way, Sue's Diner is only real in the BryonySeries world. But didn't Timothy do a great job making the page look like a real menu at a vintage diner?

Here is the full diner page: bryonyseries.com/sue-s-diner. You can't really order, of course (wouldn't it be great if you could?).

For more BryonySeries recipes, check out our three cookbooks at our BryonySeries bryonyseries.com/general-store.

Too Happy

This was a blank post from August 12, 2012 with nothing more than a title. 

And I have no idea what I intended to write - or why it's blank.

I have a number of posts like it from the early days of the BryonySeries blog, posts I titled with the intention of coming back to them later and then never did, good ideas lost to obscurity.

We're told to count our blessings. Yesterday, a friend challenged our wider group of friends to list one item from each day this week of which we're thankful. 

I've not been unhappy this week. But to stop and think about one solid blessing of each day made me, well, stop and think.

Life in its major and minor annoyances has a way of wearing away our resolve until we forget and simply plod along.

Yet - on August 12, 2012, I was "too happy" about something. 

If we can forget the circumstances that make us happy, we should also forget the circumstances that don't, as my WriteOn Joliet co-leader Tom Hernandez says in his latest blog. 

And we can take comfort in this: if nothing makes us happy today, we can reflect on happier days in the past - and then remind ourselves happy days are still out there waiting for us to make them so.

Have a great, if not happy, day! 

Pictured are my granddaugters Jessica and Riley from 2019. Neither girl was yet born when I wrote drafted this post. But they have given me two more blessings to count and two more reasons to be happy each day.

Three Ways to be Happy for Five Minutes

Lots of people are having a great day today.

And, most likely, lots of people are not.

The reasons can be circumstantial, health issues of any kind, or simply being in a state of unhappiness that defies explanations.

There's a lot of talk these days about about "being mindful" and "being in the moment," but some moments aren't that terrific, honestly.

But if you're not feeling well or if you are feeling stressed or otherwise not on top of the world today, take five minutes and apply a slogan that old people like me were taught in the old days in regards to crossing railway tracks.

Stop.

Look.

Listen.

I'm really not being silly. Just do it.

Now maybe when you stop and look and listen, you don't like what you see and here. Let's say, for instance, you see a messy house and hear the kids bickering. 

But could it also mean noticing you have a home with plenty of possessions that need straightening and cleaning (many people don't any possessions or a home) and a house full of life (even though living on an island "sounds" like a good idea right now).

Every coin has two sides, even if the second side is blank. 

On Sunday morning, after treating myself to sleeping in, I settled at the computer to get some work (on deadline) done, only to find that, for the second day in a row, I've had to restart the computer. 

I had no choice but to stop. So I figured, instead of getting annoyed, I could look and listen.

Well, my desk is FULL of paperwork that needs sorting, a water bottle, reheated coffee from yesterday, and my cell phone.

The paperwork shows I have plenty of stories to write. I have the financial means of buying water bottles as well as a nice working refrigerator/freezer to keep the bottles frosty cold (the way I like them).

Drinking yesterday's coffee means I have people who love me so much that they brought me a nice Americano late yesterday before I could drink it all.

And they bought it from a place that makes coffee so well, the texture and flavor doesn't break down in the microwave (and I have a working microwave that, within seconds, heats coffee to the temperature I prefer).

My phones are handpicked by Timothy because he understands my job duties and selects phones to match. The last phone I bought with my own money was twenty years ago. If my phone malfuctions, Timothy calls the insurance company, Timothy gets the new phone in, Timothy transfers all my data and pictures at a time that is conveniennt to me, too. 

He does all this voluntarily.

If the computer doens't boot up (it eventually did, which is how I'm writing this blog), I have a laptop, my daughter has a laptop, my two sons each have a laptop, and my daughter also has a desktop. So it's not the end of the world (or my job) if the computer I WANT to use in this moment doesn't boot up).

Note: I finally did have to call on Rebekah for help.

The sun is shining through my window, the birds are tweeting up a storm, and a cat is sleeping on my bed. So even as I'm working, I'm surrounding by good weather and life.

I'm really not trying to be all pollyanish here.

Taking five minutes won't change the fact that the house still has to be cleaned, the kids still have to be discplined, and the cat hair will still have to be brushed away. If you have a migraine, that's probably still there, and if you have knee paiin, that probably hasn't gone away.

Stories don't write themselves (I wish!), and if I want to keep myself in water bottles and dark roast coffee, well, I have to write the stories, even in those moments when I'm tired or uninspired or distracted or too busy, or...well, fill in the blanks.

But by taking five minutes to stop and look and listen, you hit "pause" on the stress and mentally refresh yourself to tackle those challenges.

And, for just five minutes, perhaps you can feel a twinge of happiness, however fleeting and transient.

And, perhaps, in those moments, you feel a whisper of hope to help pull you through the rest.

Have a most blessed day.

When You're Reading a Book and Encounter...

...a person with the same name as one of the main characters.

In the early days of this blog, I'd have occasional posts called "Bryony Moment of the Day."

These would be those unusual coincidences that line up with the BryonySeries.

For instance, when interviewing one woman named Melissa, she told me her younger brother was Brian.

Another time, I wound up interviewing a woman by the name of Julie Drake. Of course, I had to tell her about the fictional Jule Drake. Even more wild, her husband's name is David.

We had a lunch a few times (we are overdue, thanks COVID) and still talk on social media.

So yesterday, someone who is reading Visage said he just learned a John Simotes works out at the same gym he does and then added:

Haha I mean what are the chances of that? Literally reading the book he's in and then this pops up this morning...coincidences happen of course, but the empathic/mystic sides of my brain are wondering what this could signify? 

Well that can only signify one thing.

My reply: The story is bigger than both of us.

May today bring you happy surprises and reasons to make you pause in very good ways.

Forget About Reaching The Top

About a decade, I listened to part of a TED talk someone shared with me.

The speaker was an author (can't recall her name), who'd found success (can't recall with what) and was speaking on that topic (sort of).

But her point was absolutely memorable. And it's something to ponder, especially if you've set any goals in your life.

By the way, it's good to set goals. Keep doing it.

However, she said that we spend so much focusing on the top of the mountain when most of our time is actually spent climbing that mountain - and then climbing back down.

Most of us don't mind the climb up if we feel the goal is attainable. We strive and push for the prize.

Yet the view at the top, however breathtaking and spectacular it must be, lasts for a short time. We then must descend the mountain.

And she said we forget to prepare for that descent.

In fact, for anyone who has outshone someone else (or even outshone yourself) must keep in mind someone else (sooner than you can possibly realize) will be faster, smarter, more succinct, etc.

We will spend most of our time in life on the journey up or the journey down.

We should strive, yes.

Nevertheless, we should also know where most of life happens.

The view there is pretty good, too.

Illustration by Christopher Gleason for "Staked!"

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: A Recipe for Happiness

A Recipe for Happiness (author unknown) is neither Victorian nor 1970's, but the following is appropriate for all people, of all eras.

1 large sense of humor

1 warm, wide smile

1 generous handful patience

Dash of courtesy

Plenty of love and humility (you can never add too much).

Mix all ingredients together and press through a sieve to strain out lingering amounts of unkindness. Yield: Serves all of mankind.

The Best Takeaway from "Crazy Rich Asians"

I have watched a handful of Chinese and Korean dramas with Rebekah over the last couple years, so I was looking forward to watching this movie with her, which we did over the Thanksgiving weekend.

For me Crazy Rich Asians was not as interesting as the dramas she's handpicked for us, but one scene from this movie has stuck with me. I cheered it when I heard it, and I've paraphrased it a few times at home over the last few weeks.

Eleanor Young : You're a foreigner. American - and all Americans think about is their own happiness.

Rachel Chu : Don't you want Nick to be happy?

Eleanor Young : It's an illusion. We understand how to build things that last. Something you know nothing about.

Of course, I like to be happy as much as the next person (perhaps even more), and I am happy most of the time.

But my happiness, overall, doesn't come from pursuing happiness or expecting people, places, or things to provide happiness for me. In fact, I don't pursue happiness at all. Simply put, I understand the long view and taught myself how to build. 

That's where happiness lie.

In nearly sixty decades of life, I've built all kinds of worlds, real worlds and pretend worlds. I've felt great happiness when building and even greater happiness enjoying the finished structure. And, yes, I do think many people don't comprehend this secret to happiness.

Since I began this blog in 2010, I've rarely missed a day of contributing to it. But I needed time over this weekend to put in story form the greatest thing I've ever built. I shall present this story to my family when we celebrate Christmas on January 7.

I shared a snippet of this story on Christmas Day at church to one of the attendees. Surprised, but pleased, she said, "Who would have thought, all those years ago...?"

She didn't finish her thought. She didn't need to finish it. 

First drafts are messy and often full of confusion and frustration, to the extent many people stop too soon and never reach the goal.

Staying the course often means walking alone as the early cheerleaders fall to the wayside. That doesn't mean the walk isn't full of doubts and potholes, Of course it is, especially when the naysayers cry more loudly than the yes-sayers - or worse, when the yes-sayers all throw up their hands and go home.

As this is a gift for my family, this particular story won't be posted here or be available for sale. 

But that's not the takeaway here, is it?

Illustration by Kathleen Rose Van Pelt for "Bryony."

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Joy vs. Misery

Monday, January 12, 2015

Joy vs. Misery

On New Calendar Christmas morning (December 25) over a cup of coffee, our pastor (who is 82 going on 40) made a comment about how his Christmas wish is for us to always choose joy over misery.

One member of our small church, who has been in therapy for years for depression, said, "Nooo, we're not getting into this."

But Fr. Boris continued," People often don't realize that they have a choice," and then he quoted, "I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life."

(Deuteronomy 30:19)

Then I said, "I think people often don't realize they have a choice because they confuse joy with happiness."

And Fr. Boris looked at me and grinned.

I have a writely friend who calls me an eternal optimist, to which I respond that I simply refuse to be miserable. While it's true that circumstances have occured in life that have, indeed, robbed me of that joy, those circumstances hae never done so without my permission, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. Once I realize it, my first job, before I work on the problem, is to fix my attitude on the inside. A joyful spirit is a better problem-solver than a miserable one.

Joy is not happiness. And misery is not unhappiness.

Happiness is transitory, an elated feeling when something goes well in our lives or when others connect well with us. The opposite is true about unhappiness. Joy and misery are independent of life circumstances or our relationships.

I once read that if one travels downward in an ocean, one will eventually reach a place of complete serenity, where any turbulance that may be above cannot reach it. I believe all of us have, inside, a similar place we can cultivate, a place of serenity and, yes, joy.

Looking at life through rose-colored glasses is not wise, but neither should we view it through lenses of smoky gray. Rather, I choose spectacles of faith and the confidence they are backed with a guarantee of love from its Maker.

We cannot always choose our circumstances and whether or not so and so likes us. We can not prevent all troubles, all unhappiness. But we can build a strong ship that will sail navigate them.

And these are my Monday morning musings as I embark upon another work week...