Traditional Irish Folk Instrumentals | 3 Hours of the Heart of Ireland

Since the beginning of this blog on August 1, 2010, Saturdays has been a day to celebrate BryonySeries author and Irish vampire character Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara, and all things Irish.

So in the spirit of a BryonySeries Saturday, please enjoy the following in the background of your day.

"May the road rise to meet you, May the wind be always at your back, May the sun shine warm upon your face, The rains fall soft upon your fields, And until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand." (traditional Irish blessing)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pN9Ah1tPzq8

For Every Challenge Last Week, We Had An Equal or Greater Blessing (Part 1)

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Newton's Third Law of Motion.

"For every challenge, there is an equal and opposite blessing." Denise M. Baran-Unland

So I took last week off last in a feeble attempt to use up some of my neglected vacation time before 2025 bids us all farewell.

Every day (if you can believe it), seriously every single day, brought a challenge we had to tackle.

But every single day also brought a blessing.

As I was documenting that in the blog I wanted to share with you today - you know, to encourage you - the entire thing (words, photo) disappeared from my eyes and was replaced with this message: "You can now write online."

And then even that message was gone.

For any writers reading this: What a great example of "show" instead of "tell."

Grumble.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to rewrite this blog now.

But I'm assuming the new version will be amazing.

And it will also include this morning's newest challenge.

Happy Monday!

BryonySeries: Purple Roses

I don't remember how purple roses became a BryonySeries motif.

But because they are, loved ones people have gifted me with purple roses through the years ("All The Purple Roses I have Known") with Cindy being the top and most frequent "gifter" of purple roses). 

My mother always grew roses, so I have lovely memories of those bushes, some pink and some yellow, and their heavenly scent.

But how I decided to incorporate roses into the BryonySeries is lost in my mind of writing the first draft of the very first book, "Bryony" almost twenty years ago.

I remember researching the symbolism of roses and deciding that the mythical purple rose, with its symbolism of enchantment, was exactly what the story needed.

I have an old file on the computer called "Bryony and Purple Roses" from February 2, 2009, that only has scant information on white bryony - nothing at all about purple roses.

How purple roses came to be associated with the BryonySeries young dandy vampire Henry Matthews (or how that young vampire evolved from a staid old professor vampire) is also lost to my memory.

The purple rose motif only shows up in the original "drop of blood" trilogy and two of the "Before The Blood" books. And purple roses only receive a scant mention in "The Phoenix."

Yet, if you ask some people who've read BryonySeries books, "What color do you associate with the BryonySeries?" the answer is most often is, "purple."

I have no idea - truly - why that motif instead of others in the series has really resonated with people.

But here is the first purple roses reference from "Bryony."

The room, although not very large, felt warm and comfortable, with its wine-hued carpeting and wallpaper, overflowing bookshelves, and rich mahogany furniture. Several desks sat at the east end of the room. One held a heavy, black, silver, oddly shaped typewriter, very different from her mother’s slim, beige, electric machine. Vases of fragrant, purple roses filled the room. Fully awake now, Melissa rested her head on the back of the settee and blinked in surprise.

For reasons I won't share here (spoilders) "Bryony" protagonist Melissa Marchellis becomes very attached to purple roses, to the extent that an envelope of dried purple rose petals are one of her most precious treasures in "Visage" and that she keeps a vase of fresh purple roses in her bedroom "Staked!"

Her eyes fell on the envelope, and she remembered Henry’s admonition to forget vampires, including him—her undead chaperone--and especially John, who brought only death to Bryony. She could resist no longer. Carefully sliding her hand past the dried purple rose petals, Melissa retrieved the sheet of paper whose words she had long since memorized. ("Visage")

Melissa sat at her desk correcting papers by the tiny lamp. It was the only light in the entire room except for the pink candle she burned near the vase of the fresh purple roses she always insisted Kellen buy for her. ("Staked!")

But as enchanting as these passages sound - to Melissa and to some readers - the purple roses might just be more curse than blessing. 

Pre-vampire Henry Matthews was a very young boy selling newspapers on a busy street corner with his father when he first encountered the term "purple rose" in the BryonySeries prequel "Before The Blood: Henry Matthews."

Harold worked Western; Henry worked Clark. When the morning rush dissipated, Harold again swapped the pouches and scampered away. Henry guarded the newspapers and watched the caravan. The women sat in clusters and wove baskets. The men played stringed instruments.

One dark beauty in brilliant hues locked Henry's wondering gaze with her rippling irises.

So many beads, Henry mused. So many, many beads.

They rattled from her waist, dangled off her hair, and wrapped her neck in a chromatic embrace.

"Son, take a break."

They lounged against the remaining bundles, munching stale ham sandwiches and gulping hot coffee from the street peddlers. Soon after Harold disappeared between the buildings, no doubt seeking his own relief behind Henry's trash barrel, Henry sensed movement behind him.

Before he could react, a withered rose pressed into his palm.

"True love spumes," a woman hissed, "when the purple rose blooms."

Henry yelped, his father's strong hand yanked him away, and the gypsy fled. ("Before The Blood: Henry Matthews")

Henry, again for undisclosed spoiler reasons, winds up signing all his original oil paintings with a purple rose instead of penmanship. The indention denotes a flashback.

But these (images) disturbed her less than the purple roses. The artist had painted a single one at the right-hand base of each image.

       "What this?"

            "My signature."

            " I thought a signature required the alphabet and penmanship."

            "Not always."

Back in the passageway, she locked the door and tucked the key next to her heart. She had to get dressed and find Henry. ("Before The Blood: Bryony Simons")

And, of course, the purple rose also comes to symbolize the rivalry between John Simons the pianist and composer and Henry Matthews, the writer, artist, and horticulturist, summarized nicely in the purple music roses Jan Stack handmade and gifted to me, to distribute at events.

Back to the top image with the crocheted flowers and white box. 

Somewhere in the haze of health battles these last couple of years, Cindy crocheted the purple rose bouquet, which has sat near my office supplies, waiting for its own special post.

She gifted me the purple rose buds she crocheted and the purple rose in the box for Christmas 2024, which we celebrated on January 7, 2025. 

But on that day I was in the tail end of a bad virus and then straight into one health challenge after another for the rest of the year. So both boxes stayed near my desk, waiting for a quiet moment to give them their due and very heartfelt appreciation.

Those boxes waited so long, I no longer remembered what the "angel blessings" purple rose looked like. 

But yesterday, I finally had that quiet moment - and I took the photo you saw at the beginning of this blog.

And then I opened the box.

Unlike Henry, for whom purple roses were more curse than blessing, more heartache than joy, I rejoiced to see the gift before me, my own little angel of purple roses.

To me, they symbolized the parallel prayers, good wishes, and blessings that silently and out of my view, accompanied me through the challenges of 2025.

Smile

A co-worker snapped this photo of me in 2017 at the first and last time of seeing an eclipse.

I was struggling to meet many deadlines while fighting a migraine. Rebekah and I were leaving for a week in Raleigh the following day, so I was running out of time to get everything done.

But my co-worker encouraged me to step away for a few minutes and try her glasses, which I did, reluctantly. 

And then she snapped this photo of my reaction. 

So many times, we get bogged down with our obligations and can't see past our immediate struggles.

Just for today, look beyond them for a few moments.

You just may find reason to smile.

And you just may return to your duties with a clearer mind and a lighter heart.

Happy Thursday!

Recap: WriteOn Joliet at Kidz Fest

On Saturday, WriteOn Joliet participated in Kidz Fest in downtown Joliet for the second year in a row, hosted by the Joliet City Center Partnership.

We talked to passersby about WriteOn Joliet and invited them to play our "build-a-story" word blocks.

We gave away more than one hundred handmade "write-your-own" poetry books, created by WriteOn member Holly Coop.

We came out with more than one hundred colorable book marks. We did still have bookmarks left over for next year. That's OK.

Because we gave away approximately three hundred and fifty books for kids, tweens, teens, and adults, all authored by WriteOn Joliet authors.

This post "Help Us Promote Reading in Will County This Summer" has details on those books (who wrote them and how to get your own copies).

The original goal was three hundred. But we had some surprise donations - including nine random BryonySeries books someone ordered and shipped to my P.O. box at the eleventh hour.

And Mauverneen Blevins' "bird" book went so fast, she returned to her car to donate five additional copies - and those were quickly scooped iup, too.

Now, when I say "we" did this, I meant "we" as a group. I came out for the initual setup (although I set up nothing) and was onsite for probably less than fifteen minutes.

No, "we" was Rebekah Baran, Mauverneen Blevins, Holly Coop, Steve Cordin, Sue Midlock, and Judy Quilty Smith.

By noon, we had less than fifty books left - and even those were gone before Kidz Fest ended at 3 p.m.

By noon, not a single poetry book remained.

From my perch on the couch with Tiny, I cheered each update from the behind the scenes: less than fifty books left, twelve books left, five, four, three, two, one and NONE!

We look forward to being a bigger and better blessing in 2026.

Photo my Mauverneen Blevins

Too Poor To Buy a Kid a Hot Dog

Yesterday I posted the details about the kids games and more BryonySeries will be running out of three to four tents on July 3 at the annual Independence Celebration at the Billie Limacher Bicentennial Park Theatre in Joliet.

Of all the events we run, this one has the most meaning to me.

On July 3, 1998, I'd been a single mom for five months.

My house was falling apart.

My six kids ages 2 through 15 were undisciplined and unruly.

I had no steady income (but was working four different jobs around the clock, literally around the clock).

And I had reached a level of exhaustion I'd never thought possible.

My neighbor, a lovely woman (Sarah still calls her a second mom), also a single mom who was working three jobs (one was a longterm daycare from her home), mentioned Bicentennial Park was having fireworks and would I go with her?

She also wanted to walk and pick up a friend who lived on Jefferson Street, because she said parking would be terrible and it would take a long time to leave the park.

The kids thought that would be a great adventure. 

I don't remember if I'd brought the wagon to pull the youngest two, although I must have brought it.

I vaguely recall the walk down to the park and none of the walk back.

Did we pack snacks? Were water bottles a thing? I have don't remember that either. Wait, I have a murky recollection of my single mom friend with little baggies of snacks she packed. Probably little juice boxes, to. I think.

But I do remember sitting at the top of the hill near Bluff Street around twilight, when it was still too early for fireworks, too tired to move and too tired to even buy the kids the $1 hot dogs the park was selling at the event.

And yet, armed with the willingness to work hard and a strong desire to make a better life for the kids, somehow, somehow, I carved out anew life for us.

Volunteers came out to help my dad put that house back together. That included two single dads with their two sons each - and one of those dads eventually became my children's stepfather.

And Ron and I worked together to install discipline and order - and we remodeled his house while finishing mine, to prepare for seven people moving into it. So at one point, he and I were working two jobs each and remodeling two homes.

I developed two of the four jobs enough to let the two babysitting jobs and running the crew of kids selling newspaper subscriptions go. But Ron and I delivered newspapers in the middle of the night until the end of 2012 - and my fifteen-year freelance career turned into a staff position at The Herald-News in Joliet in January 2014.

The exhaustion remained for more than a dozen years until the five hours of sleep a night crept until four. I washing the mudroom floor on my hands and knees at two in the morning when the entire room spun. And I threw that rag down and said to myself, "Something has to give. And it's not going to be me." 

I meant it.

Today, I rarely get less than six hours of sleep a night and many times it's more than that.

Our neighbor passed from lung cancer about a decade ago, reuniting her with the infant son who passed shortly after his birth.

My kids - the six of my own and my three stepchildren - are loving, hardworking people of fine character and integrity, and successful in their own ways. I am proud of every one of them.

I wish future me could have sat next to dejected me on that hill at Bicentennial Park on July 3, 1998, and pointed out the spot my kids and I would be set up with tents, running free children's games and BryonySeries giveaways. I wouldn't have believed it, of course. But I'm sure it would have given me hope and encouragment.

So we are not just handing out free stuff and selling books at our tent on July 3. There's a huge infrastructure behind what we're doing and why we're doing it - and how we deliver the experience for those few hours.

Finally, while this last blessing might not be the most important one, it's still worth noting.

We can now buy all the hot dogs we want.

Serenity

It has been another tumultuous week.

We had another sudden death in the family on Wednesday, my mother was in the ER Thursday overnight, and then I went into the ER on Friday and was admitted through Sunday, where I was ultimately diagnosed with an aneurism (it's stable and only requires monitoring for now, but medical eyes will definitely be on me going forward).

I then took two days off work to follow up on doctor's appointments and move medical information around.

So here we are on Wednesday, and I have no new recipe lined up for Sue's Diner. But last week's recipe is especially appropriate now, so I don't mind leaving it up for another week. That recipe might just be the "food" that someone, somewhere, might need.

Last night I got outside for a short walk, a bit later than I'd hoped, but in enough time to enjoy the gorgeous sunset, a bit of that "peace that passes understanding," and just enjoy doing something "normal" for me for a change.

It's also good to remember that in the midst of chaos, God reminds us of His presence in moments (and views) like these. They're such true blessings, aren't they?

I hope you find those blessings today and cherish them.

Happy Wednesday!

A Simple Post

I worked last night until almost eight-thirty and then had to switch into care of the animals, shower, counting out medication, etc.

So the post I wanted to finish last night for this morning - well, let's just say I was really "worded out."

And since I MUST finish the copyedits for "Recovering Ruthless," by Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara TODAY (for I won't have another day off until Tuesday), I need to reserve a few brain cells for the task.

Instead, here is a post of original Bertrand at the former Panera at Louis Joliet Mall in Joliet on this date in 2017.

Original Bertrand is gone, the Panera that had full dining is gone, and (of course) the dark roast coffee that I drank there is long gone.

How quickly life those moments that feel like forever come and go.

Savor today, even if just for today.

Soon today will be a memory you won't remember in all its details.

But that's OK. 

Although each moment is precious, we're supposed to be overly focused on that. Otherwise, we would miss living the dailyness of life.

Still...we should retain, at the very least, a hazy awareness in the background of our busyness of the actual worth of our steps.

Savor today, even if just for today.

OK?

Count the Wins or Count the Losses?

So is this cup half empty or half full?

As I've previously written and certainly more than once, our family has experienced an unrelenting slew of challenges and emergencies since the second half of 2021, enough that we often struggle to keep up with them and the rest of life.

I think that 2024, for many in my family, has just blurred past in discomfort and actual pain. It's hard to believe 2025 is on the horizon.

One day in October, while in the midst of several of these events, Rebekah and I waded through some very neglected BryonySeries paperwork. With the end of the year in sight - and having no idea what else might befall us, given the history - we had to address it.

As we backtracked through the entire year and recorded our successes, we finally paused and looked at each other, asking, "How?"

How did we have such a good "book" year when everything else (including us) was falling apart? 

On Saturday I received an award from the community for my features writing with my fiction works being acknowledged as well.  I was one of ten people being honored that evening, so the ceremony was several hours long.

I was also on Day Ten of some of the worst and absolutely unrelenting back pain that I've ever experienced. And it definitely showed in my eyes in the "selfie" Timothy took of us at the end of the event.

But when I'm passed this challenge as well (as I'm sure I shall be - because I'm not at the time of this writing), I'll remember the event more than the pain.

So our really horrible year wasn't completely horrible. We just can't feel those facts yet.

Obviously, no one is going to feel elation when going through health emergencies and grief.

And yet - blessings are often interwoven among the thorns. And when the storm passes, it's nice to see the rainbows.

So is this cup half empty of half full?

Should I be sad I only have half a cup left to drink?

Or should I be happy because I have drunk deeply of really good coffee - and I still have half left to enjoy?

A Mess Too Messy For Many Words

Well, my third at-home writing retreat was a huge success in that I completed my goal.

I completed the copyedits on the proof copy of "House on Top of the Hill," the third book in the BryonySeries Limbo trilogy.

But at what cost?

Well (again), I set aside all "life" and housework tasks except those of the greatest necessity, even more than has been set aside all year as one emergency after another wedged themselves into our lives.

Let's just say I have my work cut out for me this month.

So my focus for November is gratitude.

Gratitude I completed the book goal in the midst of a confusing year and a stressful week.

\Gratitude for a home that necessitates house work

Gratitude for life to even have "life" tasks.

Of course, give the past three years in our family, any number of "GOTCHAS" can leap out and derails these plans.

I hoping not.

I'm really looking forward to creating something orderly and beautiful once again from all this chaos.

That's a lovely thought for Monday, isn't it?

So my wish for you today is that, whatever needs sprucing up in your life, you somehow find the space to tackle it.

The illustration is by Sue Midlock, and it appears in "Cornell Dyer and the Calcium Deficient Bones."

Happy Monday!

Faith and Midnight

We never expected to wind up with two cats with cancer.

We're grateful to everyone's whose prayed, thought good thoughts, and sent out healing energy their way.

Today's blog seems the best way to update everyone, since both cats had some medical stuff these past few weeks.

Yes, they are both alive and stable. It's not that kind of update.

Midnight

Midnight came to us at four months of age. Someone had thrown Midnight away along with her siblings. Christopher discovered them, rescued them, cared for them, and found homes for all except Midnight because she was "skittish" and no one wanted her.

So I named her Midnight and picked her up from his house when she was sixteen weeks (that's the short story).

Well, Midnight was skittish because she was sick, underweight, and fighting amongst the bigger cats at Christopher's house for her food. She had ear mites and tape worms, and I didn't expect her to live.

Our veterinarian would not spay her until she was free of heartworm segments. For months, Midnight had regular deworming treatments and we regularly submitted stool samples for testing. Midnight could not be spayed until she was tapeworm-free.

Well, one night she was nine months old and the temperature was eighteen degrees below zero, Midnight dashed out of the house at one in the morning as we were leaving to deliver newspapers. We circled back several times, calling out, "Midnight" all around the yard in the middle of the night.

Around four in the morning, Midnight crawled out from under the deck with three cats and she was not cold at all. I'm sure you know where this story is going.

Ron wouldn't hear of breaking up the family. He named the kittens Faith, Hope, and Charity, and we now had five cats instead of just our rescue cat Frances.

Charity used all all nine lives in three years.

Hope died in July two days before my birthday.

Fast forward to the last couple of years: Midnight's had three surgeries in two years to remove aggressive spindle cell sarcoma tumors from her back. Each time, they've regrown more quickly than the last. She'd barely recovered from the last surgery when the growths reappeared. They grow larger every day. I now call them "Tina Tumors."

The insidiousness of spindle cell sarcomas is that the part you see is not the evil part. These sarcomas finger out and and out, typically with the lungs as their destination.

After consulting with Midnight's primary, oncologist, and surgeon, we learned that, even at eighteen, Midnight is a great candidate for additional surgery. All her bloodwork is perfect. She does have a grade one heart murmur that isn't always detectable. The heart murmur is not a barrier to more surgery.

However.

The next surgery would need extremely wide margins with the goal of removing all the tumors, going into muscle and part of her spine. She would need radiation five days a week and spend most of her days for eight weeks waiting in a cage for those treatments.

None of this will cure her, although it may buy her time. But what kind of time?

Midnight is terrified of all of it and she was shaking hard when Timothy had to leave her for her CT scan.

Oh, and she also has feline gastrointestinal eosinophilic sclerosing fibroplasia with two lymph nodes involvements.

Midnight can't decide for herself, so we decided for her.

We decided no more surgery for Midnight unless one of her tumors rupture or become necrotic. The surgeon said he could still remove the affected section should it happen as a palliative care option.

The heartbreaking part is that Midnight, at eighteen and dealing with all of this, is still Midnight in personality and activity level. And she may still be her regular Midnight self when it comes time for euthanasia if the reason for euthanasia is this cancer.

The good news is that these tumors have not traveled to her lungs so far. They do seem located despite their rapid growths. Both Midnight's primary and her surgeon feel confident she may die from something else.

So Midnight has joined her daughter Faith in palliative care.

Faith

Faith, as you know, was diagnosed with small cell lymphoma in early April 2022. After much soul searching and multiple opinions, we chose palliative care (for many reasons), which her oncologist said would buy her two to three months.

Chemotherapy treatment, if Faith responded to it, could have theoretically bought her two to three years. 

Well, Faith has lived two and half on palliative alone. At the time of this writing, she is sitting next to me on my desk chair, chin on my arm, and meowing at me when I look at her.

But.

Faith is slowly losing weight.

She needs her anti-nausea medicine daily now - and has Zofran as a backup should she vomit or start eating and drinking less again. Fortunately, we haven't needed it yet.

She was treated for dehydration again a couple of weeks ago.

She is hiding more.

And she looks like an older cat.

Well, Faith is now an older cat.

Faith is a sixteen-year-old cat with cancer.

Some days, she just looks tired, like a clock that's winding down.

She does not look tired now. In this moment, she's now standing on the arm of my chair, nuzzling me for attention.

She tends to look down or away from the camera when I point it at her. Just six months ago, she was such a ham for the camera.

As sad as we'll be when the time to say goodbye arrives, we are so thankful.

We could have lost Midnight all those years ago when she was just a sick little kitten.

We could have only gotten two or three months with Faith after her diagnosis.

And we also almost euthanized Faith eleven months ago. We never dreamed she'd still be with us.

Last November she'd stopped eating and drinking. She was assessed by her primary and a doctor who euthanizes in the home. No one found a reason for Faith's decline. Her bloodwork was good. Her heart and lungs were normal. She had no palpable masses.

So Faith received a modified care plan and had two days to respond. Otherwise, humane euthanasia on the third day was recommended. Daniel was out of town for business for a couple of weeks at the time, and we did a "goodbye" video visit with him, since he and Faith are close.

One hour before Faith's scheduled euthanasia, she jumped off the bed and ran to her food bowl. I took a video and sent it to the doctor. She canceled the euthanasia.

Then we scheduled another euthanasia appointment for two days later, a Saturday, with her primary, just in case. If Faith declined again, we didn't want to drive her an hour away, with her suffering, just to end it all.

We canceled that one, too.

Later that Saturday, Faith left the ugliest, largest hair ball by her food ball I ever saw. That likely caused a blockage that could have killed her. Seriously, this thing was as wide as a sausage and half as long, with long spiky hair sticking out of it.

YUCK!

So now our daily routine looks like we're running an animal hospital, with medication rounds twice a day for both cats and regular weigh-ins. Midnight is taking two, Faith is taking three, and both have additional "as needed" medications, too.

So that's the "tail end" of our update. 

We are thankful.

We are grateful.

We are in awe.

Thank you for taking this journey with us. 

Happy Monday!

An Idea for Monday

Timothy and Daniel treated us to Chinese carryout last night, complete with fortune cookies.

Here's mine, and I look at the little message in two ways.

One: I can take the fortune literally and to see what "good things" come to me.

But what if I'd picked a different fortune cookie? What if this cookie was really intended for someone else? So then the second perspective would apply.

Two: Be the "good thing" that happens to someone today.

So let's not be too busy or preoccupied to notice the good things 'when they show up.

And let's make some good things happen for others, too.

This should guarantee some joy, even if Monday is otherwise stressful, as Mondays often are.

Thoughts?

Thank You!

A WriteOn Joliet member and I emailed back and forth the other day about the possibility of WriteOn starting its own blog.

WriteOn Joliet does have a blog page.

We currently have two years of our "Writers Are Readers" blog that was my co-leader Tom Hernandez's passion project.

And we point to WriteOn member James Pressler's longtime and very excellent craft blog: "Writing and the Process."

So this member and I discussed possibilities and he hopes to talk "blog" at tonight's meeting.

That led me to check the BryonySeries' blog's all-time statistics.

I used to check those weekly but fell off that habit sometime between the COVID-19 pandemic and the fall of Twitter.

Now, I do keep an eye on the daily, weekly, and monthly statistics. But all-time, no.

Perhaps that's because getting writing seen is so challenging these days, whether it's my journalism writing or my blog writing.

At any rate, I looked.  And I was pleasantly surprised.

Granted, the first blog was still on Aug. 1, 2010. 

And I blog daily.

And some of those views might be bots (I'm pretty sure some of those views are bots).

But I took the screenshot at the bottom of this post approximately ten minutes ago. So these are my most recent numbers.

Yes, I'm not hitting a million anytime soon. However, I will quietly (or maybe not so quietly) celebrate that number when I reach it.

What helps is that I have so much evergreen content, that some really old blog posts still get views each day. So that helps a lot.

Now, this is a free blog. I'm not monetizing it or will ever monetize it.

Nor does the blog drive book sales.

So it really doesn't matter to me if I get three views a day or three hundred.

Because to me, the blog is part of social media. And social media, to me - still - is about connection.

Nevertheless, I really was humbled to see those all-time numbers. Most of them represent people who clicked through to watch a video, listen to a song, or read something I wrote.

Thank you so very much for connecting with me in this way. I am so very grateful.

Friday Free Space

Good morning!

Ever since I began this blog in 2010, Fridays were a day to post a roundup of all my story links for The Herald-News.

Today I'm breaking from that tradition since I don't have many to post this week.

One, I was off last Friday and Monday for my birthday. Shaw Media is generous in that it gives us a day off in our birthday month.

Two, when I returned, a lot of the focus was on storm coverage and two stories just for print.

Three, the last few weeks have been super challenging - and have been filled with some wonderful moments, too. I'd prefer only the latter, of course - but life doesn't serve itself up that way.

And speaking of moments, most of life is lived within moments. So instead of linking to my work, I'm sharing a random moment in 2018 that I caught with my phone camera, a moment I don't remember living.

I guess the lesson here is this: no matter how topsy turvy life can get, find reasons to smile.

And try to capture those moments via camera, too, for a second smile years down the road.

(Bertrand the Mouse approves this message).

BryonySeries Bags from Jasmine and Rebekah

Good morning!

Pulling an all-nighter and beyond in the ER on Monday night left me with no energy after work to yesterday to change up the recipe at Sue's Diner. Hopefully I will get to it tonight. 

In the meantime, please check out our slightly modified, but totally Victorian, nineteenth century Independence Cake right here: bryonyseries.com/sue-s-diner.

The BryonySeries website has a slightly different look since  Timothy reverted it parts of it to an earlier version. The latest version was glitching, and between work, work travel, and working on his master's degree with Daniel, Timothy won't have much extra time until after February. 

In the meantime, look at beautiful BryonySeries bags from Jasmine and Rebekah. After me asking Rebekah for a tote bag or two (she has lots) whenever I leave for an event, Rebekah found a blank one that is perfect for me, and Jasmine personalized it.

Thanks to their kindness and talent, I will look a little more professional and put-together when I go here and there with books and supplies.

This is certainly just one more reason to be thankful this morning.

Happy Wednesday!

The Luna Moth on my Window

During the late afternoon on June 26, I glanced up from the computer where I was working on deadline and saw this creature, left wing flapping in the breeze.

I got up for a closer look, wondering what in the heck it was, and then snapped a couple of pictures and texted them to Nancy Kuhajda, University of Illinois Extension Will and Grundy master gardener and program coordinator.

Nancy said it was a luna moth, “magnificent member of the silk moth family.”

“Sadly, these beautiful adults only live about five to ten days days because they're born without mouths,” Nancy said.

Luna moths don’t eat, and they don’t drink, none of the silk moths do. “It’s “tragic, really,” Nancy said.

She said once luna moths hatch from their cocoons, they find their mate and then die.

“In a somewhat chemical irony, there was a sleeping pill called Lunesta that used the lunar moth in their logo,” Nancy said. “In reality moths are up all night.”

So why was this luna moth hanging out on my window? Seeking shade, most likely, Nancy said. Large moths are easy prey for birds and other animals during the day and typically come out after dark, Nancy said.

Lina moths tend to fly high and toward trees, she said.

“Often in the mornings, I'll see them inside the top of the pavilion at Pilcher Park,” Nancy said.  It's just where they hang out. And also if it's not moving, it could have just landed and died there…That's just what happens.”

She said the “little hands” of luna moths have hooks in them, so like they hooking to screens.

“It may have passed, but it could also just be waiting for nighttime,” Nancy said. “And then it'll be there one minute and gone the next.”

I “googled” luna moths and read they symbolize the cycle of life and death, transformation and change.

Hmmm.

So what happened to my luna moth?’

It stayed all evening and was still hanging onto my window when I went to bed. When I awakened in the morning, it was gone.

“Just consider it a blessing that you got to see it so up close,” Nancy said. “Very few people see them live and in-person.”

Spiritual Spa Day

Our family's had more than its share of medical unicorns prancing into our lives.

One might think, considering we've survived them all (so far), we'd be filled with great awe and admiration for modern medicine.

But we're not.

Instead, we're often filled with anxiety over what modern medicine might do to us (some of those unicorns are in the drug reaction club) or what new and strange malady might befall us.

Seriously.

Popular buzz words in our home include pheochromocytoma, mast cell disorders/chronic urticaria, Steven Johnson Syndrome, hidradenitis suppurativa, Hashimoto's disease, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), familial polycythemia (without the vera), hyperhidrosis, and inappropriate sinus tachycardia mixed in with the rather normal diabetes, asthma, Asperger's, depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, dyslexia, allergies (seasonal, food, and drug), white coat hypertension, irritable bowel syndrome, diverticulosis, and diverticulitis (which actually might not have been diverticulitis after all - which really doesn't surprise me).

The awe/anxiety seesaw is a real spiritual pushmi-pullyu in our lives.

People used to comment on my patience for homeschooling my six children. I'd reply that patience is developed by enveloping ourselves in situations that cause impatience.

The same is probably true with overcoming medical anxiety. So I've worked really hard this past year to reframe my thinking with more and less success. Fortunately (?), God has provided plenty of opportunities, too.

This doesn't mean every situation will go well or every provider will be fantastic. But it does mean to have a little faith that the Holy Spirit is present in every situation and will guide us (and those around us) in that moment.

So...

Today I am happily on a clear liquid diet in anticipation of tomorrow's colonoscopy. I say "happily" because the procedure has already be rescheduled four times this year for various medical reasons that weren't sedation friendly.

In these weeks, I've learned an appreciation for the procedure, which - although it has its risks (of which I cannot completely control), is a privilege many people in the world simply cannot access. 

I'm going to try to keep this in mind as the day progresses.

I've already set myself up for success on the back end (no pun intended) by setting up the day, the diet, and the timing of these next two days with all weird health issues factored in. Because realistically, grumbling about being hungry really is the least of my concerns.

The undercurrent of this post is not intended to be whining. It's to address fear. And we all come face-to-face with fear in our lives, even if the situational cause is not identical.

If you're facing fear today, I'm facing it with you. And I hope that helps you.

All that's left is for me/us today to untie the boat and sail out to the middle of the lake and meet the uncertainty, where the real spiritual growth happens.

What's the old saying? A boat is safe in the harbor. But that is not the point of the boat (paraphrased).

So anchor lifted, here I go.

With a big bowl of quivering lemon Jell-O (not blue Jello-O) sitting in the refrigerator with a big spoonful already gone.

Because I've already embarked.

And because blue Jell-O is not allowed 

The Unprepared Blog

So I've been sick this past week and slept in every day. 

I'm REALLY behind this particular morning and don't have much time to write a blog. 

However, I've missed very few days since we began this blog on August 1, 2010. So what's an unprepared writer to do?

Well, I can thank anyone who's read this blog right now for actually reading it. In this era of information overload and buried posts, I'm humbled anyone is still checking in fourteen years later. I'm truly humbled. So THANK YOU very, very much. As with my BryonySeries and other books, this blog is for you, the reader.

And I could give another "shameless plug" for WriteOn Joliet's upcoming radio play, since everyone is working very hard at delivering an entertaining performance for all those brave enough (ahem!) supportive enough to come out.

Of course, I could easily default to a cat photo, like this one of Faith, who is stressed by my coughing and refusing to look at the camera.

But, mostly, I want to wish you a beautiful day filled with every good blessing a beautiful day can bring.

And I wish that blessing for each and everyone person (and animal) that you love.

A Calendar of Thankfulness

The image of this calendar, drawn by Matt Coundiff, appears in a chapter heading in the BryonySeries young adult (and up) vampire novel "Visage."

At first glance, it seems like the wrong teaser image to use for the blog I'm posting.

I finally completed updating the BryonySeries calendar for November, a bit late, I know, but with all the background challenges this year, I'm thankful for completing it.

Almost every date in the calendar in still relevant. That's because behind every date is a quick reminder of a reason to be thankful, perhaps a reason that never consciously occurred to you.

For those new to the BryonySeries calendar, Timothy set it up like an advent calendar. Click on the date and find the surprise for the day behind it. The surprise might be an actual BryonySeries event - or it could be an activity or reflection. Its "theme" also links to a BryonySeries book, citing it as the reason or inspiration.

Now the reason why this image, dated May 1977, works, is because of what it actually illustrates in the book: a staunch, immovable selfishness by one character as he marks each "X."

So as we move through this Thanksgiving week practicing gratitude, let's also purify every intention behind out businesses and let the actions of our thankfulness match the thankfulness in our hearts.

Have a great Monday!

The Blessing of Social Media

More people seem to complain about social media than praise it.

But social media is really a communications, too. And like any good tool, its benefits depend on the people using it - and how they use it.

The outpouring of well wishes for my calico Faith were so numerous last week, I'll need most of this week to respond to them all.

The cheerful or funny comments to one positive "good morning" post can also take me a couple days to respond to them if I wind up with an extremely busy day.

But the great part about social media is that the responses will be waiting until I can get to them.

Look, I grew up at a time where one didn't leave home if you were expecting a phone call.

I grew up in a time that, if several people were expecting a phone call, you'd see a racing and jostling to that phone once it did ring.

We can talk to dozens of people at once simply by switching screens or pages.

You can stay connected to the world if you are ill and homebound.

You can find listening ears if you are grieving.

Where else can you receive multiple "happy birthdays" or an outpouring of "congratulations" when you have good news to share? Or a variety of suggestions when you have a problem to solve?

I personally have a favorite page with hilarious memes that I consistently follow, memes that never fail to elicit real laugh-out-loud- laughs.

Now I love in-person gatherings, too. And so do Uncle Barty and Bertrand the Mouse, pictured here visiting some mouse friends.

But I love social media, too.

Have a marvelous Monday!