Monday, June 2, 2025
Slugs for a Day (NOT!)
Wednesday, January 8, 2025
My First Christmas Address
In terms of money spent for Christmas this year, 2024/2025 was an extremely lean year for my family and me.
And in terms of some of the really expensive technology items I've seen my grandchildren want and receive for birthdays and holidays, well - I will never be able to meet those wants and expectations no matter what kind of year it is.
But the last way I want to present a gift is with an apology that it isn't more - or see crestfallen faces when something at receiving something insignificant.
So I put some very hard thought and time into Christmas this year, despite being sick.
On Sunday, I spent an entire day, wrapping and decorating some really modest gifts for all the grandchildren, which went into small Christmas bags.
But several days before that, I wrote this Christmas speech. If you can believe, the speech held everyone's attention. Two of my kids actually recorded it.
And the excitement that followed when the paper started flying really surprised me. Not only did the mood remain elevated the rest of the day, I believe the speech set expectations (in a good way) for birthdays and holidays going forward, recementing the element of surprise and delight in giving, receiving, and sharing.
So if you need a dose of inspiration today, I'm including the speech in this post.
Happy Wednesday!
As a grandma with lots of grandkids and little
money, it sometimes breaks my heart that I can’t afford all the expensive technology
things my grandkids love and really want.
But then I read this article last month called, “Why the Best Gift You Can Give Your Grandchild This Christmas is a Book.” And this paragraph really stood out to me.
If there’s one thing grandparents understand, it’s the fragility, the brevity of life. We need to keep giving books as if we missed the memo that ‘technology rules.’ We know that big, sullen teenage lump really wants something techie, or cash — mostly cash, and that you are just a means to providing the latest gadget. But teenagers are sullen and oafish because they’ve learned a thing about life, so you can play them at their own game. Keep handing over books.
And this got me thinking. Yes, I know reading is
often presented as a chore, something we “should” do that really isn’t very
fun, like eating raw broccoli instead of chocolate chip cookies. We all know
kids need to read to become successful students and successful adults in the business
world.
Well, that reasoning would turn me off reading,
too.
And the more I thought about it, the more I
felt bad for kids who prefer technology over books and reading. And I feel
especially bad for kids who can’t read, struggle with reading, or hate to read.
Because the non-reading kids are missing out
on so much.
I really feel bad for kids (and adults who used to be kids) who haven’t spent hours of their childhood reading.
I spent hours of my childhood reading because
I had a mother who’d bought a subscription to the Weekly Readers Children’s
Book Club, where we got a book in the mail each month.
And I had a father who used to read those
books to my sister and me until we were old enough to read books ourselves.
I feel bad for kids who didn’t grow up having
a father who made up tunes to sing along with the ditties in the books, “I’m
the gift bear for the king. I won’t stop for anything!” or the snake’s song in
the “Crows of Pearblossom” (for those who didn’t know Aldous Huxley wrote a
children’s book): I cannot fly; I have
no wings; I cannot run; I have no legs. But I can creep where the black bird
sings And eat her speckled eggs, ha, ha! And eat her speckled eggs.”
I feel bad for kids who never felt the rejection
the Witch of Hissing Hill felt from her witchy customers (who came from miles
around to buy one of Gizelle’s cats)
Far back in the hill country is Hissing Hill.
It's a bare lonely spot, with one twisted
house
and a tall fir behind it.
Once upon a time the hill was aswarm
with black witch cats.
Cats arching their backs on the rooftop,
cats chasing up the fir tree,
cats yowling on crooked fence posts,
cats hissing in every corner of the shackly
house.
And all of them black, black, black.
Her cats were the witchiest, the wickedest, the
very worst, wonderful witch cats in the world…until
the day one of those cats birthed a yellow cat named Gold.
“Now Gold was yellow and Gold was nice, but
she had a bit of mustard in her yellow for spice.”
I feel bad for kids who never met Little Devil
when he got sick or tasted the hot spider soup his mother made him (“Wait for
the gloom to come, my son!”) or took the advice of his best friend Fritz, who
said Little Devil was sick because he wasn’t doing enough good deeds (Ollie
ollie zonka choo!).
I feel bad for kids who’ve never met Stevie
and his Seven Orphans or played impossible hide and seek or tasted “salty” beet
greens or had to obey dinner rules that included no more than one elbow and one
knee on the kitchen table in “Good Ole Archbald.”
I feel bad for kids who never saw golden windows
from afar, longed to be part of the Knights of the Silver Shield, met Marty from
Mars, or felt the longing Danny Drake had for a dog named Bozo – and since
their house was too small for a dog, Danny instead brought home mice, frogs,
and ants – all named Bozo. Spoiler: Danny eventually gets the dog.
I feel bad for kids who never experienced “earning
a playground” or accomplishing a “five-dollar yard,” who never cheered for
Bunnyboy when he saved the columbine, mourned with King Charlemagne at the
death of Roland the Noble Knight in battle, felt the fear of meeting Grendel
the giant in the celebration hall for a fight only one would win, or saw the
miraculous pitcher with their very own eyes.
I feel bad for kids who never saw Curious
George make a fishing pole from a mop handle and wall hook and then bait the hook with a slice
of cake and who never left Old Bohemia with Nanka and to learn – in America –
that a pancake is sometimes also a hat.
I feel bad for kids who don’t know that one is
the engine, two is the boxcar, three is the covered hopper car. I feel bad for
kids who never survived nearly drowning because the terrible Miss Dove wouldn’t
let them get a drink of water in class.
I feel bad for kids who never experienced the
world from the vantage point of the Poky Little Puppy and his four siblings after
they dug a hole under the fence and went for a walk in the wide, wide world through
the meadow, down the road, across the green grass and up the hill, one after
the other.
I feel bad for kids who never felt the
discontent of Scuffy the toy Tugboat (Scuffy was sad. Scuffy was cross. Scuffy
sniffed his blue smokestack. “I won’t sail in a bathtub. I was meant for bigger
things”). I feel bad for kids who never learned about boundaries on their behavior
with Tootle the Train and “red flags waving,” or felt the loyalty of Mike toward
his steam shovel Mary Anne, a steam shovel that could “dig as much in a day as
one hundred men can dig in a week.”
I feel bad for kids who didn’t know that Mr.
Willowby’s Christmas tree came by special delivery, full and fresh and glistening
green, the biggest tree he’d ever seen.
I feel bad for kids who do not even know that where
they walked to school each day, Indian children used to play, all about their
native land, where the shops and houses stand. and the trees were very tall, and
there were no streets at all, not a church, not a steeple —only woods and
Indian people.”
I feel bad for kids who never slept beneath a
sidewalk with Booker T. Washington or watch him sweep a floor so well that its
lack of even one speck of dust earned him a college education. I feel bad for
kids who never hung out with George Washington Carver as he invented face
powder, shampoo, shaving cream, hand lotion, insecticides, glue, charcoal,
rubber, nitroglycerine, plastics, and axle grease all from peanuts.
I feel bad for kids who were never “snowbound”
with John Greenleaf Whittier or who never slept in the house with James Thurber
the night the bed fell, or who never got deathly ill in the drenching rain the
night the last leaf fell.
I feel bad for kids who’ve never felt the
heart-stopping terror of Pew the blind pirate tap-tap-tapping his way down the
sidewalk, who’ve never stolen a hot air balloon with other escaped prisoners
only to be blown off course and land on a mysterious island having to fend for yourself
with these strangers, or felt sorry for the frog who was in love with the jailor’s
daughter, who knew in his little frog heart his love for her couldn’t not work because
he was a frog and she was a woman.
If you haven’t guessed by now, I love reading
books. And I like writing books, too.
Uncle Tim helps write some of my books. And Aunt
Rebekah takes all the writings and turns them into books.
You’re probably not too curious about what we
write or why we do it. You’re probably more curious about what’s in the little
bags – and maybe disappointed that we don’t have many gifts to give this year.
But circling back to the beginning of my Christmas
speech, “if there’s one thing grandparents understand, it’s the fragility, the
brevity of life. We need to keep giving books as if we missed the memo that
‘technology rules.’”
Last year we had lots of gifts for you under
the tree. This year, a lot of money went to pay medical bills.
So this year, we have some smaller gifts for
you that we hope you’ll like.
And I am giving you the option (and you don’t
have to do it) of picking out one book that I wrote (note: most picked out two, actually...surprised we even wrote and published books) to take
home with you.
You
can read it or give it away or throw it away.
If you can’t read it by yourself (or if you don’t
want to read it yourself), I can read it to you, a chapter at a time, over a video
call. This way, we can enjoy the story together.
And if that sounds like a boring gift, I don’t
care.
It’s not only what I have to give this Christmas;
it’s what I WANT to give this Christmas.
I’m giving the gift of self, of imagination,
and the opportunity for us to experience something together you can’t get
anywhere else.
Merry Christmas!
P.S.: Copies of this speech are available to
take home upon request.
Thursday, September 26, 2024
A Tiny Purple Flower From Justin
Isn't it amazing how one small gift can do so much?
My thirteen-year-old adopted grandson Justin recently sent this to me through the grapevine one day.
Not only is the gift sweet in and of itself, but he's also observant enough to know the BryonySeries connection behind the motif.
But Justin is more than observant. He acted on his observation by deciding I might like to have it.
And then Justin made sure I received it.
So now when I look at it, I naturally see the fruit of my imagination, a tangible reward of the team's marketing and branding efforts on all things BryonySeries...
And I see a thoughtful teenager who is growing into a thoughtful young man.
Happy Thursday!
Thursday, June 6, 2024
"Ye Olde May Fest" Recap
Welcome to Day Three of Recap Week.
Over the last six weeks, I was blessed to participate three different wonderful events: “Fragments of Time," an original WriteOn Joliet radio theater production, held April 19 and April 20 at the Billie Limacher Bicentennial Park Theatre in Joliet, the Local Author Fair on April 27 at the Joliet Public Library, and Ye Olde May Fest, May 18 and 19, also at Bicentennial Park.
As a happy attendee and vendor at the last two "Shakespeare & Art In The Park" events, Rebekah and I were invited to take part in the planning committee this year for "Ye Olde May Fest."
We also oversaw TWO tents (BryonySeries and WriteOn Joliet) in the "Merry Merchant Row" during the actual event.
The outdoor medieval-type fair event featured a live Shakespeare play ("The Merry Wives of Windsor"), a large Maypole, parade of royalty, kids' make-n-take crafting kingdom, stockade, alchemist, archery, ax throwing, magician, Medievalist and his suit of armor, green screen magic with a castle and dragon courtesy of the Joliet Public Library, live music, and a community mural project, along with the vendors and food and drink for sale.
Now, we only sold one book over the two days. But the couple did walk over the river to an ATM and then back to Bicentennial Park just to buy it, so that made us feel good. And we also sold about a dozen mystery quote (otherwise called Word Music).
In fact, the only vendor that sold quite well was Cindy's crocheted Ribbit-Ribbits.
And yet, I believe "Ye Old May Fest was wonderfully successful, and I truly hope Bicentennial Park repeats it next year.
You see, while the event obviously catered to Shakespeare fans, it also catered to non-Shakespeare fans. One reason for "Ye Olde May Fest" was to introduce individuals and families to art and activities that might be unfamiliar to them.
For non-Shakespeare fans, "Ye Olde May Fest" was an event of discovery. For some, that also included discovering Bicentennial Park. For the vendors, it was an opportunity to let the community discover them.
Six of my grandchildren attended the event and had a fantastic time. Now before you think I'm embellishing, you should know they didn't actually enter the festival looking very excited. The fact they enjoyed it so much was, I'm sure, very much a surprise to them.
Don't believe me? Scroll through the photos and see!
The kids made floral wreaths, added their touches to a community mural, shot bows and arrows, discovered snakes, made fans, had fun with fantasy photos and green screens, participated in the coronation, explored the grounds and enjoyed the music.
Four grandchildren now want to attend archery camp this summer, and we are trying to make that happen for them. Two were enthralled by the play
One of my grandsons (who showed up in Rennaisance dress) was even loathe to leave. He said, "This is my happy place."
Happy, indeed!
Tuesday, February 6, 2024
For the Love of Addy
My granddaughter Addy was recently selling Girl Scout cookies, as I did as a child and as my daughter Sarah did as a child.
Now, I don't recall any actual experiences of selling Girl Scout cookies as a child. I just vaguely remember that I did.
Sarah sold Girl Scout cookies for three years in a row. Her last selling experience was quite adventurous and the type of story for another post.
But Sarah's goal during that final year was to earn the money to attend Girl Scout camp, which she did.
She spent a week at a week at the former Camp Pokanoka in Ottawa, Illinois, where I also spent a week the year I turned eleven and where I learned to swim. She later spent a second week with just her Girl Scout troop.
Now Addy's goal was to sell one hundred boxes. To help her out, Rebekah and I bought five. Yes, in a family rife with diabetes, fatty livers, and weight issues, we bought five boxes of Girl Scout cookies.
But Addy made her goal. That is what's most important to us. I think all people, including and maybe especially, children, should have plenty of people in their lives who love and support their efforts and help them reach their goals.
Besides, I have lots of grandchildren. And Grandmas should always have cookies on hand, correct?
Happy Tuesday!
Wednesday, August 2, 2023
Another Goodbye
Monday, December 26, 2022
Good Medicine on Christmas Day
Thursday, March 18, 2021
Lucas
All of life, I think is an opportunity.
Hold that thought.
Many of my peers have regular contact with their grandchildren and even regularly scheduled times they see them. They spend their days with their grandchildren while their parents work or they keep their grandchildren on the weekends.
I have a lot of grandchildren. And I don't see them in person that often - and certainly not in 2020.
Several reasons play into that. Most of them live in Grundy County, and we have conflicting work and school schedules.
Visiting with some of them is complicated (although it does happen) due to issues between their divorced or otherwise estranged parents.
Most of my step-grandchildren and my oldest grandson live out of state.
Today, I am focusing on that oldest grandson. His name is Lucas and he will start high school in the fall.
Last night while I was on the phone with his mother Sarah, my oldest daughter, he was impatient for her to finish so we could talk. That may not sound earth shattering, but we're talking about a teenage boy itching to chat with his grandma. That relationship happened long distance and it didn't happen overnight.
Here is a photo of us from 2017. He looks way different now and most likely is taller than I am, too.
Even as a baby and toddler, Lucas was strong-willed and very independent, with a bit of attitude mixed into that, so building that relationship wasn't easy, especially considering he lived far away, and neither his family nor mine had the resources for visiting.
He was still pretty young when Sarah helped me launch the BryonySeries, but he was super proud of it and liked to tell people I was an author. He also dressed up very nicely at our launch, which was a fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties.
He created and sent me a card about vampires and made up and recorded a song on a special app that went away - so the song did, too.
The first year I could afford to visit him was 2015. He tried to establish his dominance from the start (which failed), but his "attitude" persisted, so finding positive ways to bond was challenging was that first year.
But we had them.
You can see glimpses of his personality here.
But we also had some great building blocks, too. You should have seen the look on stunned surprise his face when I spontaneously bought a video game he wanted. Just because I was the grandmother and could. Just so Lucas knew I was whole-heartedly in his corner.
Or the way he wrestled with the Pop-Tarts.
But my favorite video is the one I took of him the following year when we spent a day at the ocean. I was sitting on the sand before we left, just watching him, and decided to capture that moment on my phone, realizing how different he'd be the following year - which he was.
I called it, "On the Brink of Fourth Grade."
That fall, I decided to become pen pals with my grandchildren. Each month, I sent a littele note or little surprise (stickets, coloring pages, small toys, etc.) in the mail to help establish us as grand,mother/grandchildren.
And, occasionally, the grandkids, Lucas, too, wrote back to me.
You saw the photo from 2017.
In 2018, plane fare soared, and I stayed home. But that January, for old Calendar Christmas on January 7th, I gave my grandkids a Christmas present of experience: we made bread bears together.
Lucas made his remotely. We shared pictures with each other on a private social media page I started for the grandkids - because it's important for them to bond, too.
The last trip was 2019. We arrrived at 1 a.m. and he greeted me in a deep voice and open arms.
We had reached the turning point.
That week, Lucas spent a good portion of it camping with his father. My daughters and I spent a day at the campground, too, swimming, cooking out, etc.
When the time came to start the food, my daughters encouraged me to stay in the water (my favorite place to be), while they did the cooking, and Lucas offered "to keep an eye on me."
We swam back and forth for an hour, just talking about stuff. It was the best time, and I could never have dreamed at the time that the following year we'd be in the middle of a world-wide pandemic.
Social media helps. He sends quick texts and photos on Snapchat (his bitmoji wears a crown and sunglasses because Lucas is still Lucas).
And last night, he interrupted Sarah a couple times on the phone because he wanted to talk. When his turn came, I carried the conversation for a while because he didn't have a particular subject in mind. He just wanted the connection, although he didn't say that.
So we talked about his return to soccer and the weapons he likes to make from branches in the woods. We talked video games (I find them boring and don't play them) and why I prefer writing.
But he actually verbalized his enjoyment of games (no revelatios) and suggested an RPG version I might like (Fable?) - with the offer of teaching me how to play it the next time I make it to his house.
By suggesting a one-player, role playing game with a highly developed story line tells me that Lucas has paid attention to my own interests, too.
Yes, a thirteen-year-old boy.
We also talked about another family member he likes to tease. And I shared with him some insight that this person actually doesn't like the teasing, which he didn't know. We talked about ways to be supportive instead without losing that bond.
I cut the conversation short after thirty minutes because I needed a little down time before getting ready bed. He didn't understand that at first. So I explained it, and he got it. His body, he said, gets tried before his mind does. And it can take him a long time to fall asleep. I understand, which is why I need the down time. My mind won't shut off otherwise.
Back to "all of life is oppportunity."
I didn't build a daily or weekly bond with Lucas. In fact, only babysat him for one afternoon many years ago, and we worked on his math, which wasn't fun for him.
I've only visited him in person four times. Just once in that time period has he come to Joliet - for Rebekah's college graduation.
Now I could have chosen to focus on what I didn't have. Or I could choose to focus on the opportunities for building a lifelong relationship. Because although time with grandhildren is important when they're young, they won't be young for long.
Those grandchildren will spend most of their lives as adults. And we will relate to them for most of our lives as one adult to another, which is important to remember.
The next time I see Lucas, he won't be on the brink of fourth grade anymore. He will be on the brink of manhood.
And I couldn't be more proud of him.
Monday, November 23, 2020
To Pen Pal or Not Pen Pal: Thoughts?
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
A Surprise Visit
Then Rebekah yelled up the stairs, "Grab a mask and get down here!"
I yelled back, "No! I'm working. You handle it."
So she ran upstairs, opened my door, and repeated it.
With a glance at the clock and a big sigh at being interrupted, I grabbed a mask and stomped downstairs, wondering who dared cross the threshold of my deadlines.
And there, at the back door, were three of my grandchildren, paying ME a window visit.
I hadn't seen them since before the pandemic.
Now I was still on deadline, and the visit was brief.
No hugs, no kisses, and we all stayed more than six feet apart.
The youngest did take a step, poised to run at me for a hug, and she was told to step back. She was a little grumpy, and a little confused as she's only four, about that.
But we exchanged lots of "I love yous," and "I miss yous." It made my night. I'm still smiling this morning.
I saw on social media this past weekend about how one grandmother bought a character costume so she could hug her grandkids. It's an idea, definitely.
Earlier in the day, I had griped to my WriteOn Joliet co-leader about missing my older children and THEIR children as we also griped about the rising positivity numbers in Will County and having to schedule yet another virtual meeting for our critique group this Thursday.
It's true that this pandemic has taken away peoples lives, livelihoods, income, and close contact with people they love.
But it has brought creativity and ingenuity in the quest for vaccines and treatments, work form home and remote learning models, and ways to "stay close," as well a determination that negativity won't be the final word.
Thursday, May 23, 2019
"I Have a Thing For You"
Side note: My mother hates that I wash floors from a "hands and knees" position. She thinks it's demeaning. I think it's the best way not to miss anything. But whatever.
A "thing for me?"
"Does Timothy know?" I called back.
I should say here that Jasmine is pretty awesome. Two nights ago, she was in the ER after getting smacked in the nose with a softball (yes, it's slightly broken), but she was up early the next day, ready for work.
Yesterday, she spent the day babysitting my granddaughters because Joshua as at work, and Amber had to accompany Ezekiel on a field trip.
She sent me photos of the fun they were having. I should add here that Jasmine's specialty is cakes, and her dream goal is to open her own bakery one day.
The girls did some baking...
Some waiting...
And sharing...
Yes, this was the "thing" Jasmine had waiting for me at the other end of the door.
What's really sweet about this, more than Jasmine engaging the girls in the kitchen, is Jasmine teaching Jessica and Riley how to be thoughtful and kind.
Wouldn't you agree?
Tuesday, February 12, 2019
Princess Party
This was basically a sleepover (their first) with preschool spa treatment that included bath bombs, bubbles, facial masks in animal shapes, manicures, and overall pampering.
The fun began with satiny bags Jasmine bought from the dollar store that she filled with more fun items from the dollar store: fuzzy animal slippers, sleep masks, bath scrungies, both bombs, animals crackers, apple juice, yogurt drinks, plastic pearls, and pink bath towels.
Cindy added some princess snacks, such as princess goldfish. Rebekah brought out her Little Mermaid blanker from her childhood.
Ultimately, the girls became Elsa and Anna from Frozen (their choices).
Here's a quick photo recap.











































