Below is a clipping from The Munsonville Times that the main character in this BryonySeries novel found on microfilm at the Munsonville Library while conducting research for a school project.
This provides the background for the "The Night Before Christmas" parody below, an "assignment" for WriteOn Joliet in 2013.
Of course, I try to make (almost) any assignment part of the BryonySeries.
DECEMBER 31, 1893: On December 24, Mr. John Simons and Miss Bryony Marseilles were united in Holy Matrimony. The bride looked lovely in a wedding dress Mr. Simons ordered from Paris: an ivory satin, floor-length gown, with a lace veil edged in bryony motifs, and a pair of white kid gloves. A gold locket belonging to the bride’s mother adorned the outfit. “It’s the only jewelry Reverend allows,” said Bertha Parks, parsonage housekeeper.
Immediately before the service’s commencement, Mr. John Simons played the song he wrote for Miss Marseilles, so Reverend Marseilles refused to attend the reception at Simons Mansion.
The reception featured the following menu items: fish balls, fruit fritters, scalloped oysters, giblet soup with veal, chowder, mushroom catsup, roast wild duck with cranberries and peas, boiled pigeons with turkey stuffing, roast goose with mashed potato stuffing and apple sauce, breaded potatoes, boiled cabbage, winter squash, boiled parsnips and carrots, rice and meat pudding, baked plum pudding, French rolls, jelly tarts, minced pie, and eggnog.
Crowning the occasion was a magnificent twelve-tiered wedding cake, light and white, with scrolls of pink and green frosting, to match the bryony at Simons Mansion. The décor featured lace-covered tabletops decorated with mulberry ribbon, bows, holly, mistletoe, and red and pink roses. For the couple’s first dance, a sixteen- piece orchestra played “Bryony.” One guest said, “It was like a fairy tale.”
T'was the Night Before Christmas
(From the perspective of Bryga
Czarnecki, chief housekeeper at Simons Mansion)
T'was the eve before Christmas, when all through the house
Every creature was
stirring, except Bertrand the mouse.
The servants had
decorated the third floor with care,
In hopes John and
Bryony soon would be there.
All tables were covered
with woven lace spreads,
With mulberry ribbons
bedecking each edge
And mistletoe as
garnish with a holly branch wrap,
Red and lavender
roses made a centerpiece cap.
When down in the
kitchen there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the
ballroom to see what was the matter.
Away to the staircase
I flew like a flash,
Lifting up my full
skirts and hanging onto my sash.
The trembling hands
and heaving breast showed Gladys' woe
As she stared at
fallen trays and food objects below
When, what to my
wondering eyes should appear,
A miniature rat and
eight spiders crept near
With an odd little
insect not so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it
must be a walking stick.
More rapid than
eagles the roaches they came,
And I whistled, and
shouted, and called servants names!
"Now Hattie! now,
Mildred! now, Nellie, get quickin'!
Cease all your
cookin! Stop all your mixin!
Sweep the whole
floor! Wipe splashes from walls!
Now dash away! Dash
away! Dash away all!"
The fragments were
gone, every surface wiped dry,
They glanced at each
other and heaved a group sigh.
Then up to the house-top
the servants they flew,
With platters of
food, and the wedding cake, too.
And then, in a
twinkling, I heard on buffets
The dropping and
clattering of those many trays
As I poked in my
head, Morton quickly turned 'round,
And the rest of the
food came down with no sound.
Fish balls, fruit
fritters, scalloped oysters, and chowder
Again the excited
servants clamor grew louder
Giblet soup with
veal, duck with cranberries and peas,
Mushroom catsup; and
then I noticed the great Christmas tree
The white candles,
how they twinkled! the gingerbread how merry!
The candies were like
roses, just like the nuts and the berries!
All the servants were
hungry, on their faces, it showed;
For the drool on
their chins was as white as the snow.
They glanced at
boiled pigeons with much turkey stuffing
And wondered if
leftovers they soon would be cuffing
Breaded potatoes,
winter squash, French rolls, and boiled cabbage
Would any minced meat
pie be left so to ravage
Boiled parsnips and carrots, rice 'n' meat and plum
puddings,
My special eggnog, sprinkled with nutmeg; who wouldn't be
willin'
But a wink of Mort's
eye and a twist of his head,
Told the help
leftovers they all would be fed.
They spoke not a
word, but went straight to their work,
And filled all the
tables; not one of them shirked
After pausing a
moment to straighten a rose,
Mort gave them a nod;
in position they posed!
Mildred sprang to her
post, to her team gave a whistle,
And away they all
dashed like the shot of a missile.
But I heard them
exclaim, ‘ere they fled out of sight,
"Good luck to
you to all; see you later tonight!"
Illustration by Matt Coundiff for "Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles from 'Bryony'"
