Many of my "mothering" mentors were wonderful women with strong personalities and beliefs.
But I only met most of them through their various writings and between the pages of the books they authored.
One of those women was Mary Reed Newland, the mother of seven children, all boys, except for the oldest.
This was very helpful to me, as I had six children over the years: four boys and two girls. And then later, I was blessed with three older stepchildren: two boys and one girl.
One of Newland's books that influenced my own style of mothering was a book I found abandoned on a shelf at my parents' home called The Year and our Children.
In fact, this book spurred one of my family's most cherished traditions: giving my children a blessing at bedtime.
My two youngest children and I, all adults, all live together. They still like to receive, and give, blessings at bedtime.
My fourth child and third son lives next door. If he doesn't come to the house for a blessing, or call for one, he will request it by text...
...or he will send one first.
And he never, ever misses a day.
My mother had owned wo books by Newland. One was called We and Our Children and it was a guide to raising Catholic children. It was published in the 1950s during a time of financially insecure times in the family's life.
In fact, I was looking for my own copy and found it at The Book Market, which was located in Joliet at the time and is now in Crest Hill. It was my introduction to that store, of which I've visited many times in search of a rare, elusive, or out-of-print book.
The other was, again, called The Year and Our Children, and it was a guide to living the liturgical year with children, feast by feast by feast, of which I had no experience; in fact, such a concept was quite new to me, and the concept was planted by picking up this book.
My copy is my mother's original copy. I have no idea if she ever read it. But no single book influenced my children's childhood as this one did. So whether or not she ever read it, I'm glad she kept it, and I'm even more glad she let me keep hers.
Newland wrote in a wonderfully conversational style that made me feel as if I was sitting across the table from her, enjoying a cup of coffee, while she spoke mother-to-mother to me and shared from her wisdom and experiences.
Now, I did not reproduce every suggestion from this book. In fact, I didn't use most of them. I might have used them, if I'd raised my children in the Roman Catholic Church.
But I raised them in the Byzantine Catholic Church/Easter Orthodox Church. And, in 1982, I couldn't find any materials to use with them at own.
In fact, it was from this book that our annual and very cherished St. Nicholas celebration derived.
In fact, even our cats enjoy celebrating the Feast of St. Nicholas.
Later, the Rev. John Matusiak created these wonderful coloring books, which I used in atypical ways when I ran a religious education program (but that's for another post).
But Newland's ideas spurred my own ideas, which blessed my children.
Eventually, my ideas blessed the children I oversaw in Sunday School and in The Higher Ark, a church-sponsored youth group.
Actually, I made this exact shadow box (book illustration below) with my oldest children when they were very young.
The drawing in the book looked better than ours. But that was OK.
For we learned worship and life in Christ isn't static and dull.
It is alive, and we can express it with conversation loud and quiet, laughing, music, visual arts, drama, and storytellings.
In doing some of these activities with my children, I helped to build a rich life for my family.
We weren't rich in money. But we were rich in other ways.
Like our annual Holy Thursday "toga party" (they are supposed to be apostles). We say "toga" because some of our "apostles" came to the dinner table with bath towels pinned with larege diaper pins (we used cloth diapers, too).
And we reproduced the food eaten at the Last Supper as best we can.
I also learned the basics of time management\ from this book, which I still use today.
I not only learned to manage my time, I learned how to become very intentional with my time.
All of us receive the gift of twenty-four hours. And if God so grants it to us, we receive another twenty-four hours.
Time really is a beautiful gift from God, who stand outside of time. He gives us the seconds, and minutes, and hours, and then leaves it up to us as how we shall spend them.
Mary Reed Newland, in her beautiful writings, taught me the importance of choosing how to spend my time wisely.
I am so grateful.
