Gratitude | Brandon Lake | Piano Cover by James Wong

THANKSGIVING CLASSICS: "Prayer of Thanksgiving" by Perry Como

What a Real Family Thanksgiving Looks Like

Memory is a magician. Did you know that?

With perspective in one hand and the passage of time in the other, memory fools us into thinking that our past family holidays and get-togethers look like a Norman Rockwell piece of art.

When they don't - and the pressure is real because postings on social media imply everyone else is having that type of holiday - our spirits can sink lower than an elephant in quicksand.

I feel like any time you herd a bunch of relatives into one room, they'll butt heads as often as they rub shoulders. Add a heaping seasoning of real life to the occasion, and you can end up with scorched feelings, even if the food turns out perfectly and the decor is magazine-worthy.

We wisely choose to forget the negative parts as the special day passes. But we should try to remember them in real time so our expectations are realistic.

So...

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving, full of love, joy, peace, and good food.

But let me tell you what was happening in the background.

One adult child had surgical extraction at a major medical university of all the teeth in his mouth one week before Thanksgiving.

My father now has Alzheimer's, and Ron has been in a nursing home with dementia for the last few years.

Two adult children are going through either a separation or divorce and both situations are challenging.

Two relatives (an in-law and step-grandson) had COVID over Thanksgiving, which nixed any carefully curated plans those members of the family had made.

One adult child is struggling with depression.

We have several relatives on the autism spectrum.

Many are struggling with finances.

More than a few greeted Thanksgiving Day overworked and underslept, so tempers flared here and there and now and then.

We dined only with immediate family because it's still COVID - although our natural inclination in a pre-pandemic world is to cook a bunch of food and host a bunch of people in a open-house fashion.

We also ordered five dinners from an expensive restaurant to send to a single parent family in our family - and the food was not as good as anticipated.

Quick side story.

Years ago, when my family was throwing newspapers, I occasionally hired the teen son of some acquaintances. My kids had lots of inserts to assemble for their paying customers, so this son helped with throwing and porching papers.

On the day before Thanksgiving, I had said son with me and I asked him what he was "thankful for" this year.

He said, "My family, my friends, and my church - because without God, I don't know where I'd be."

The next day, he helped me again with one of my routes. Except on this day, he was pretty shaken up. He did not know his family was having money problems. And when he woke up to leave for the route, the family vehicle was gone. It had been repossessed.

So I reminded him what he was "thankful for" this year. And I further reminded him that one of those items was not the family car.

In fact, everything this young man treasured, he still had on that Thanksgiving Day. And he could rejoice and be glad in that.

Now I understand some of us had to stretch this year to rejoice and be glad. We may have lost loved ones to COVID, cancer, or family rifts. We may have lost our homes, our jobs, our health, a good friend.

But in every hour, in every minute, we can find a blessing.

If you spent Thanksgiving alone, perhaps you're blessed with support on social media.

Or perhaps you're meant to reach out to someone who is lonelier than you are. Because that person does exist.

So maybe, if you can't find a blessing, your job is to make one. There's an old saying: "It's better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."

Back to our house.

We were so busy cooking, we forgot to take photos. So I don't have any to share.

We didn't take any photos of us sitting around the table because an argument broke out at at the start of dinner. That dinner photo at the top of this post? That's from last year.

We didn't take any photos of us sitting around the table playing games bcause an argument broke out at the start of the first game.

OK.

Those things do happen.

Those things did pass.

I can tell you that, for most of the day, we rested a lot, ate a lot of wonder homemade food, connected with loved ones, and laughed for hours, way, way, way past midnight.

That's midnight, the hour, not the cat. Sorry Midnight.

And when next Thanksgiving rolls around again, the love, the laughter, the food prepared with love and laughter (we didn't laugh at it, we laughed with each other as we prepared), the peace, the relaxation - those are the parts that we will remember and treasure.

As we should.

The rest?

Address it, in love, if it's a real issue.

If it's not, let it go...

'Holiday Bird' - #Thanksgiving Turkey Film

Sue's Diner: Roasted Root Vegetable Medley

Each week for the next couple of weeks, I'm planning to feature one selected recipe from the Thanksgiving menu that's featured in the BryonySeries cookbook: Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles from "Bryony," which is a permament fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties.

All of these recipes are referenced in the novel Bryony. The complete menu is found in the cookbook.

Here is the explanation from the cookbook:

For the Marchellis’ first Thanksgiving in Munsonville, Melissa’s little brother Brian shows off the depth of his newly acquired culinary skills, under the direction of his mentor, Steve Barnes, the village maintenance man.

You can try the Roasted Root Vegetable Medley on the Sue's Diner page on the BryonySeries website. 

But try the recipe this week. It will be gone some time next week. A new recipe from the Thanksgiving menu will take it's place.

Crocheted mouse not included (Did you catch Bertrand the Mouse's photo bomb?)

By the way, Sue's Diner is only real in the BryonySeries world. But didn't Timothy do a great job making the page look like a real menu at a vintage diner?

Here is the full diner page: bryonyseries.com/sue-s-diner. You can't really order, of course (wouldn't it be great if you could?).

For more BryonySeries recipes, check out our three cookbooks at our BryonySeries bryonyseries.com/general-store.

All In The Family - Archie Bunker explains Thanksgiving

Bored? Here Are Nine Potentially Fun Suggestions

I finally had some time Tuesday to fix the BryonySeries calendar, so I started sharing the activities for each day on social media yesterday

Here is a list for the first ten. Pick out the one (s) that capture your attention. Each activity has a BryonySeries rationale and a link to the book that inspired it.

And please check back each day. It was Timothy's idea to have a daily calendar of events. While it's time-consuming to assemble it (and I often screw up the size of the date boxes), it stretches my creativity to think outside the box - not a bad idea, right?

Hope some of these virtual events stretches your creativity, too - and bring joy to your life and the lives of those you.

And here you go!

Nov. 1: How much do you know about blood? Take the quiz.

Nov. 2: Check out some kid-friendly crafts for showing appreciation.

Nov. 3: Make a pumpkin volcano.

Nov. 4: Make and taste Thanksgiving recipes from the 1970s.

Nov. 5: Check out WriteOn Joliet. Our anthologies make great gifts.

Nov. 6: Make and taste authentic Thanksgiving recipes from the Victorian era.

Nov. 7: Plan a different Thanksgiving menu this year: go Irish.

Nov. 8: Ever make fake blood? Here's how.

Nov. 9: Make a paper bag turkey - and then "feed" it. Great counting activity for kids.

Nov. 10: Explore a pumpkin with this kid-friendly activity.

Illustration is from the official BryonySeries cookbook: "Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles from "Bryony."

All proceeds benefit Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties.

Next Week on Sue's Diner: Recipes for a BryonySeries Thanksgiving Feast

Want to change it up this year?

How about preparing the Thanksgiving Day dinner featured in the Bryony?

For the Marchellis’ first Thanksgiving in Munsonville, Melissa’s little brother Brian shows off the depth of his newly acquired culinary skills, under the direction of his mentor, Steve Barnes, the village maintenance man.

Next Sunday (Nov. 19), I'll post recipes for the following on the Sue's Diner page at www.bryonyseries.com:

Steve’s Roast Turkey (brine and turkey recipes by Rachel Buchanan Savicz)

Steve's Stuffing (recipe by Virginia Schonbachler)

Roasted Root Vegetable Medley (recipe by Sarah Stegall)

Traditional Cornbread (recipe by Tutti Weiss)

Drop Biscuits (recipe by Rebekah Baran)

Salad Dressing (tastes like Thousand Island, recipe by Janet Cooney, salad by Timothy Baran)

Darlene’s Trifle (recipe by Virginia Schonbachler)

Darlene’s Pumpkin Roll (recipe by Sarah Stegall)

Rebekah, assisted by Daniel, cooked up this feast for us last week while I was at work. Timothy plated the entire meal (next week's photo), as well as the salad and desserts.

Needless, to say, we ate well for a couple of days!

Why, might you ask, would we cook a Thanksgiving Day dinner early?

One: I wanted to have photos to share with you, in case you'd like to try some of all of the recipes this year.

Two: Our traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner is comprised of poor boys, kettle-cooked chips, and pumpkin pie (Don't judge us), a Frankensteined tradition born our of my mother working in retail and hosting Thanksgiving at her house on the Sunday before Thanksgiving; Thanksgiving deadlines for both newsroom, routes and insert customers; too tired after meeting those deadlines; and, now still too tired after working long hours to want to cook up a feast on a day we're not working.

Besides, now that some of the adult kids work in the culinary industry, they, too, don't want to waste a precious day off in the vacation. It's far, far better to cook on a work day (or a working weekend).

So we did. Or rather, THEY did. 

But I enjoyed every scrap.

And maybe, just maybe, Rebekah will make some pumpkin rolls instead (or along with) pumpkin pie.

BTW, if you'd like a cookbook, proceeds benefit Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties. Order a cookbook HERE.

And if you didn't try out last week's recipe (cinnamon coffee cake), it will remain up for another week. Find that recipe on the Sue's Diner page HERE.

A Respite and Giving Thanks: A Summary in Sound Bites

The week I spend in Raleigh notwithstanding, these last few days have been the most time off I've taken off in many, many years, very rejuvenating and productive.

So after a very long Wednesday work day that extended into my regularly scheduled bedtime before I was finished, here's how I spent the past few days:

Thanksgiving Day: Divine Liturgy, fiction writing, power walk, traditional dinner (poor boys, kettle chips,pumpkin pie), Monopoly marathon with my family

Black Friday: Power walk, lunch with a friend, fiction writing, practicing my open mic piece for Thursday, working on a marketing plan, finished the Monopoly marathon with my family

Small Business Saturday: Power walk, picked out new glasses, fiction writing, work (just a couple hours in the evening, didn't quite get it all done on Wednesday)

Sunday: Divine Liturgy, work, dinner with friends, power walk, work that was interrupted by someone needing to talk

And back to work today. I'm ready to tackle the week and eager to return to the job I love so much.

Still, I long for one more day...

Mason Reese Macy's Day Parade 1975a

Giving: A Thanksgiving Short (Vampire Zombie Werewolf)