Celebrate the Shifts

In 1997, I was a stay-at-home mom of six children, ages two through fifteen, when I received an invitation from our pastor to attend a three-day conference in Chicago.

The conference was aimed at attracting and keeping twenty and thirty-year-olds into churches. Our bishop had instructed him to attend with one parishioner and then write a report.

The problem is that the pastor was also supposed to spend part of that weekend at his college reunion in another state. 

So the plan was for us to attend the conference together for half of that time and then I would stay overnight in Chicago for the last day (because I had transportation issues even back then).

At the end of that second day, before I headed to dinner, I went back to my room for a short while just to listen to music and celebrate the shift that had occurred in my life.

Now, I didn't know that by the following year, I'd be a single mother working several jobs around the clock, growing them all to see which ones "stuck."

I didn't know three years later I'd be remarried and living near the I&M Canal.

I didn't know five years later I'd be fighting for my life with a tumor so rare most people (including me) had never heard of it.

I didn't know eight years later we'd hold a ribbon-cutting in our backyard for the remodeling of three outbuildings as dedicated youth group space for our church.

And so forth.

But what I did feel was that shift in my life, a shift I've sensed at other times, too.

Honestly, to this day, I have no idea why I was selected for this conference. I wasn't part of any church group, church board, church anything, except for my attendance.

However, before grabbing my book and heading for a solitary dinner (that sounds lonesome until you reflect that dinners at home meant eating with a nursing baby on your lap and periodically jumping up to refill plates and run general interference among bickering children), I took a few moments to acknowledge that, to honor that, to even celebrate that.

The unknown is often a scary place.

But it's also an opportunity for growth.

Art Linkletter: 'We Did With Less And Made It Matter More'

While double-checking a couple of "Art Linkletter" facts for a special Thanksgiving story for The Herald-News, I stumbled upon a gem of an interview with Art in 2009, eleven months before his death.

The YouTube video was called "Overcoming Challenging Times." It was some of the best four minutes and twenty-seven seconds I've spent.

Listen for yourself right here. It's my gift to you today.

Saving Decklin (and more)

Getting plenty of practice "going with the flow" this week.

One, a large convention, for which me and several family members and friends have planned to work and attend, was abruptly cancelled yesterday, just ten days before the event, leaving other con participants shocked and upset.

My family and I have spent nine months in preparation for this event: making sure we had enough stock, costumes, work schedule rearranged, vacation time, etc., but also the opportunity to immerse ourselves in all things vampire (Victorian vampire ball, panels, photos ops, film festival, etc.).

It's a huge blow, but since I've officially written about, I'll be reaching out to organizers today and see if anyone will provide insight.

However, two very pleasant things happened immediately after, which I'll share here.

One, after a day of dodging "pebbles," I accomplished a good portion of my "to-do" list and left for a meeting with Alby Odum at Book and Bean Cafe in Joliet for a light supper, coffee, and to talk about the Bryony audio book.

He had never been at the cafe until we first met there two weeks ago and actually got there early to work on some other projects and soak up the ambiance. After discussing technical things, we shared resources and just had a long talk about all things creative, etc. 

It appears we'll meet every couple weeks just to keep the project moving until it's done. The goal is not to rush it (which is funny, considering we recorded the files in 2012), but to not stall again either. 

In the meantime, we're gaining a slow, but solid, education about the audio book industry, similar to the steps I took to learn about self-publishing about ten years ago.

Onto the second pleasant occurrence.

For one reason or another, I have not been in a pool all summer (I LOVE the water, so this is hugely disappointing). But with this lovely hot and humid weather (so far) this week, surely ONE NIGHT will happen before the pool shuts down.

Well, last night was not the night.

After the meeting, and after some "con" stuff was addressed, it was too late for the pool. So Rebekah and I decided to walk the track behind a local school building.

As we came up the other side, we saw an object off the road. That object turned out to be a cat.

It was now getting dark, and here was this very thirsty, very domestic cat out in the middle of the field by itself. Had it run off from the neighborhood? Or worse, was it dumped off?

We brainstormed a planned. 

We would ask the boys to bring the cat carrier. Then we would go around to all the houses in the surrounding neighborhood to see if someone had lost a cat.

If not, we would bring it home for the night, isolate it from our cats, and then take it to the vet first thing in the morning to scan for the microchip.

In the meantime, we took a picture of the cat and posted it on social media with a short description) hoping someone would recognize it.

The boys were at the fitness center, so they didn't arrive with the box for thirty minutes (at this point, they met us on the sidewalk when we were walking home with the cat to get it ourselves).

As Rebekah started to put the cat in the box, Timothy cried out, "That's Decklin!"

Immediately, I recognized the cat. He did live in one of the surrounding neighborhoods. Well, this was easy. We'd just take Decklin home.

It wasn't that easy.

As Rebekah placed Decklin into the cat carrier, the bottom broke, and the Decklin bounded away!

For the next twenty minutes, we chased after him, steering him in the direction of home and not farther away from where he needed to be.

His family was very happy to see him, and we stood outside chatting for about fifteen minutes or so. In fact, his family lives behind another set of neighbors who had given us information when Rebekah rescued a hawk a couple years ago.

So all's well that almost ended well.

Because I still had a list of work-related stuff to do AFTER the meeting last night. I haven't even peeked at it yet this morning (gonna finish this cup of coffee first).

I'm sure it will all get done eventually (the work, not the coffee. The coffee I absolutely plan on finishing).

The only upswing about missing the con (which, so far, organizers are promising a vague "spring date" for the rescheduling) is that, as one of my kids pointed out, I now have a long weekend for getting some serious creative writing done, something that's eluded me for over a month.

I am not consoled.

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Guest Post by Sarah Stegall: Change

Monday, June 16, 2014

The following is a piece Sarah Stegall, BryonySeries web administrator emeritus, posted on a small Facebook group called, Change, which consists of her, my other daughter Rebekah, and me.

Rebekah started the group to keep her accountable in her weight loss journey. One of the unfortunate side effects of my desire to cook good food is that my kids love to eat! Timothy, who at one point stood as wide as he was tall, has often told people he didn't become fat because of unhealthy food, no it was extra portions of homemade sausage and bean soup and half loaves of homemade buttermilk bread that did it.

At any rate, Sarah embarked upon a new eating plan and formulated an exercise regime over a year ago. For both girls, it's a real struggle, for they have weak ankles that give out when walking and flat feet and a host of other issues that most of us never face when getting out there and pounding the pavement.

Nevertheless, the progress Sarah has made has been astounding. As she strives toward her own goals, she encourages - and occasionally head thumps - Rebekah in her struggle, and it is an especial struggle for Rebekah because she loves food so much.

But this is just the background to the selection. The main reason I'm sharing it with you today is not just that its wisdom applies to any of us on life's journey, but the fact that my eldest daughter wrote it and that it's full of of the principals and attitudes I tried to exemplify and prayed my children would absorb during my years of actively parenting them.

I'm very proud this woman is my daughter.

"Change" post:

My shin splints have been killing me lately, which means no running. I googled and found a site that shows supination and other common foot stances. I definitely have terrible supination in my right foot. That being said, I'm saving for new shoes that should help the issue and get me back running soon.

Yesterday I focused on core and upper body since I can't do what is eat to work into my schedule. I did two ten minute workouts, one for arms, shoulder and back, and the other geared towards the different muscles in the stomach. As I'm starting to plateau, I'm finding I have to mix up my routine and start working to build shape.

The first part is losing weight, the second part is reshaping and building on your new foundation with strength training. I'm still losing weight, just more slowly now. I'm struggling to fatigue muscle groups, because let's face it, it's not easy.

We are programmed to touch painful areas and quit when something feels hard. If your muscles aren't contacting and then shaking from the fatigue, you aren't damaging the tissue to force new growth. Practice a plank or a push up and hold it until your body shakes and you collapse. That is a good place to see results. You'll notice over time your strength improves and your holding time lengthens. A good workout will leave you feeling like jelly. To see the most results, 10 to 30 minutes of cardio first will help circulate the oxygen in the blood stream if you are strength training and will burn calories as it's jumpstarting your metabolism. Anything that forces your heart rate up is cardio.

When you are mindful of your diet (not dieting) and what goes into your body, you will look at food more like fuel and energy, which helps make it easier in choosing smarter choices. I still battle portion control, which is why I find it easier to eat all day (or every two hours). My goals are my own and the struggle sucks. It's easier to eat junk and skip workouts, not to mention inner battles and false negotiation. "If I eat this now, I'll workout harder later." Yeah right! I eat it now and skip my whole workout, haha. I have to constantly remind myself that even though it satisfies the taste buds momentarily, it wrecks havoc on the body and will ultimately sabotage my results and progress.

In the beginning I started this journey alone. Now I have layers of support through co-workers and friends; however not everyone is on-board. I feel like there are two sides; the side that wants to see me fail and the side that is rooting for me. I remind myself that I'm a big girl that made unhealthy decisions and that I alone have to correct that. Nobody is going to put the effort in for me. I'm surrounding myself with positive people with like-minded goals, who encourage progress and are judgment free. Healthy people with healthy attitudes lift others up.

Find what pushes you and motivates you to your dream. Remember that results don't happen overnight and if you cheat, you are only cheating yourself. Rise to the challenge, dream big, have long-term goals, change your lifestyle, and remember that people love you, not food. Ask for help and accept advice with an open mind. Take pictures often and journal your experience; this is a good way to reflect when you feel your progress is slow. Seek healing outside of your comfort zone and don't wait for change to come to you. Live your days guilt free with no regrets and love yourself and your body each day. Even when you can't see what others see and feel discouraged, love you for you.

This is a science and if you follow the steps, success is inevitable. Love you always!

Posted by Denise M. Baran-Unland at 6:04 AM

Illustration of Sarah Stegall by Kathleen Rose Van Pelt for "Bryony."

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Guest Post by Sarah Stegall: "Change"

Monday, June 16, 2014

Guest Post by Sarah Stegall: Change

The following is a piece Sarah Stegall, BryonySeries web administrator emeritus, posted on a small Facebook group called, Change, which consists of her, my other daughter Rebekah, and me.

Rebekah started the group to keep her accountable in her weight loss journey. One of the unfortunate side effects of my desire to cook good food is that my kids love to eat! Timothy, who at one point stood as wide as he was tall, has often told people he didn't become fat because of unhealthy food, no it was extra portions of homemade sausage and bean soup and half loaves of homemade buttermilk bread that did it.

At any rate, Sarah embarked upon a new eating plan and formulated an exercise regime over a year ago. For both girls, it's a real struggle, for they have weak ankles that give out when walking and flat feet and a host of other issues that most of us never face when getting out there and pounding the pavement.

Nevertheless, the progress Sarah has made has been astounding. As she strives toward her own goals, she encourages - and occasionally head thumps - Rebekah in her struggle, and it is an especial struggle for Rebekah because she loves food so much.

But this is just the background to the selection. The main reason I'm sharing it with you today is not just that its wisdom applies to any of us on life's journey, but the fact that my eldest daughter wrote it and that it's full of of the principals and attitudes I tried to exemplify and prayed my children would absorb during my years of actively parenting them.

To all the people, whom I'm sure have never looked at this blog, who sneered at me for my, what some might call, "extreme" dedication to parenting and building a legacy, this post by Sarah makes me so, so, so, so, glad I did what I did and very, stinking proud that this woman is my daughter.

"Change" post:

My shin splints have been killing me lately, which means no running. I googled and found a site that shows supination and other common foot stances. I definitely have terrible supination in my right foot. That being said, I'm saving for new shoes that should help the issue and get me back running soon.

Yesterday I focused on core and upper body since I can't do what is eat to work into my schedule. I did two ten minute workouts, one for arms, shoulder and back, and the other geared towards the different muscles in the stomach. As I'm starting to plateau, I'm finding I have to mix up my routine and start working to build shape.

The first part is losing weight, the second part is reshaping and building on your new foundation with strength training. I'm still losing weight, just more slowly now. I'm struggling to fatigue muscle groups, because let's face it, it's not easy.

We are programmed to touch painful areas and quit when something feels hard. If your muscles aren't contacting and then shaking from the fatigue, you aren't damaging the tissue to force new growth. Practice a plank or a push up and hold it until your body shakes and you collapse. That is a good place to see results. You'll notice over time your strength improves and your holding time lengthens. A good workout will leave you feeling like jelly. To see the most results, 10 to 30 minutes of cardio first will help circulate the oxygen in the blood stream if you are strength training and will burn calories as it's jumpstarting your metabolism. Anything that forces your heart rate up is cardio.

When you are mindful of your diet (not dieting) and what goes into your body, you will look at food more like fuel and energy, which helps make it easier in choosing smarter choices. I still battle portion control, which is why I find it easier to eat all day (or every two hours). My goals are my own and the struggle sucks. It's easier to eat junk and skip workouts, not to mention inner battles and false negotiation. "If I eat this now, I'll workout harder later." Yeah right! I eat it now and skip my whole workout, haha. I have to constantly remind myself that even though it satisfies the taste buds momentarily, it wrecks havoc on the body and will ultimately sabotage my results and progress.

In the beginning I started this journey alone. Now I have layers of support through co-workers and friends; however not everyone is on-board. I feel like there are two sides; the side that wants to see me fail and the side that is rooting for me. I remind myself that I'm a big girl that made unhealthy decisions and that I alone have to correct that. Nobody is going to put the effort in for me. I'm surrounding myself with positive people with like-minded goals, who encourage progress and are judgment free. Healthy people with healthy attitudes lift others up.

Find what pushes you and motivates you to your dream. Remember that results don't happen overnight and if you cheat, you are only cheating yourself. Rise to the challenge, dream big, have long-term goals, change your lifestyle, and remember that people love you, not food. Ask for help and accept advice with an open mind. Take pictures often and journal your experience; this is a good way to reflect when you feel your progress is slow. Seek healing outside of your comfort zone and don't wait for change to come to you. Live your days guilt free with no regrets and love yourself and your body each day. Even when you can't see what others see and feel discouraged, love you for you.

This is a science and if you follow the steps, success is inevitable. Love you always!

Posted by Denise M. Baran-Unland at 6:04 AM