"Someone Sent Me a Dead Squirrel!"

Tomorrow I will share some topsy turvy photos of our new space (I'm sure we won't be settled until it's time to move again).

But first, here is a blog I wrote last week that I haven't shared yet.

Why is the title "Someone sent me a dead squirrel?"

Well, that was the message Timothy sent me one day as he opened a mystery package one day that he didn't order.

As you can see, it is not a dead squirrel. But what is it?

Well, in perfect "click bait" story fashion, I will tell you.

When I was writing Cornell Dyer and the Whispering Wardrobe, I needed a visual for this lion:

Cornell hoisted the backpack onto his shoulders and headed for the castle. He had just entered the courtyard when he saw a giant ceramic lion.

             This was much larger than the knickknacks in the woods and the knickknacks inside Mrs. Peabody’s curio cabinets.

The lion was painted a golden brown. The lion’s mane was a deep, rich brown. The lion had painted hazel eyes and an open mouth, ready to bite and tear.

But Cornell knew ceramic knickknack lions did not attack anyone.  So he walked through the courtyard up to the castle door. The door opened by itself, as if something past the doors expected him.

So I searched online for a visual for the scene and found this lion. Isn't he beautiful?

So I took a screen shot and sent him to Timothy, since the entire story idea was Timothy's.

It's a good thing I took that screen shot. Because when I tried to click on the link later, it was broken.

You've probably guessed where this story is heading.

Yes, Timothy ordered the lion. And then Timothy forgot he ordered the lion.

So when the lion arrived beneath the packing, it looked like a dead squirrel to him. He sent me a frantic message and brought the package over to my house, where we carefully examined it and realized, it was not a dead squirrel and that he, in fact, had sent it to himself as a surprise for me.

We were both suprised, in our ow ways. And we were both happy no one sent him a dead squirrel.

The end. (please buy the book).

Denise Unland's Alternate Geneology, Part 5

By Ed Calkins, the Steward of Tara.

Then came the day at the coliseum when Leo was to be fed to the lions. In the stands, a man known only as The Donald, who once controlled all the coliseum betting in the Roman empire and had just sold half his business to the Roman government.

The Donald loved to gamble, but hated to leave things to chance, and had good reason to be confident that no matter how many Christians the lions ate, he would make money. What he didn't count on was the worst relapse in history.

Modern 12 step programs that tell you; 'every slip has a start'. For Leo it was small wager he placed while being dragged to his trial. "Five on the Lions" he called. But though the shouting the bookie herd ' five on Leo' and so the bet was booked.

Now, after six years of no red meat, no salt, only healthy rabbits food, Leo saw the hungry lions and saw only red meat. The carnage that occurred broke the bookies, angered animal activists, and devastated Leo’s low calorie, low sodium diet. Lions ran in terror as Leo tore limbs to gorge on the red meat. Donald wasn't concerned about the bets on Leo because of the spread. If a better took the lions, he had to spot sixteen Christians.

Donald knew the lions were never fed more then ten. After ten Christians, the lions wouldn't be hungry. How would it look to the coliseum goers if the lions wouldn't eat their daily Christians? On the others side, a better on Christians had to spot two lions. Surely Leo would stop eating after one. The Donald had no idea what it’s like eating lettuce for six years. In a public display of morbid gluttony, Leo didn't stop eating till the last lion in Greece was consumed.

After this, Donald was still smiling. You see, he had sold half his bookie operations to the Roman Government. Now they would find out which half that got! (Collection, Donald/ Payouts, Rome) Some say that this debt caused the fall of Rome. For his additional offence of animal cruelty, Leo was banished for the Roman Empire and so his story ends in the Latin Chronicles without a word of where he went.

Consider where Leo could have gone after banishment. Would he have gone to southern Africa? After eating as many lions, I would think that Leo would avoid that temptation, don't you? Is not it more likely that he would have gone as far from lions as he could get...as in north....as in north but not within the Roman Empire. I think you get my point.

For more informatoin on Ed Calkins, the Steward of Tara, visit www.bryonyseries.com