Calkins Day is a Month Away

What is Calkins Day, you may ask?

Why, it's the BryonySeries' very own holiday. It's a time to celebrate laughter, imagination, and generosity.

When is it?

On. Feb. 13, the date of Ed Calkins' birthday. (Yes, Virginia, and everyone else, Ed Calkins is real. And so his birthday).

How does one celebrate?

A parade with the distribution of candy is ideal, but impractical. Although we did have a parade of two people last year. The footage is below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjZ7ColY688

Are any foods associated with the holiday?

Any of the foods listed in chapter 29 in Staked! would suffice. At the very least, serve some Irish soda bread.

You can buy a copy of Staked! HERE.

The BryonySeries cookbook, Memories in the Kitchen, Bites and Nibbles from "Bryony," has a very nice Irish soda bread that's become my family's tradition for Calkins Day. And when you buy a copy (which you can do HERE), all proceeds go to Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties.

I did post the recipe HERE, too.

Should I wear anything special?

Jeans and a striped shirt. Or a kilt. Ed has worn both (although not at the same time).

Will Ed Calkins be making any appearances?

That's the plan, if he can get a sub for his newspaper route. Details HERE.

Is Calkins Day just an excuse to sell books?

Um, no. The holiday began in Ed's mind long before he became a character in my series. In fact, the idea for vampirizing him came after I missed yet another parade (He hosted very short parades).

For more details on this most pretend of all pretend holidays, read the post from 2011:

http://bryonyseries.blogspot.com/2011/02/case-for-calkins-day.html


Here I am on Feb. 13, 2017, wearing my Calkins Day garb, candy bowl in hand, ready for the parade.

2017 Calkins Day Parade

2017 Ed Calkins Day Recap in Photos

First, me wearing my Calkins Day garb, candy bowl in hand, ready for the parade.

Next, Timothy prepares to take the parade to Indiana...

And then Daniel gets ready to take the parade to Joliet Junior College...

The actual parade route, which ended at my work place. I left the candy bowl in the break room.

Later that night, Rebekah made Irish soda bread (sans raisins) from the BryonySeries cookbook, Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles from "Bryony." We liked it with plenty of butter, although I'd like to experiment with a less sweet version.

I didn't get to the limerick (bummer), but Timothy said several people stopped him at Land O'Frost, where he works as a corporate chef, to wish him a "Happy Calkins Day!"

All in all, a delightful vigil to Valentine's Day!

And did I say the cookbook is a fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties? No? Yes! Buy yours here at www.bryonyseries.com.

Tomorrow: A video of the parade route.

Happy Calkins Day! A Primer and Tips for Celebrating

What is Calkins Day?

It's the official holiday of my BryonySeries, initiated for pretend by the real Ed Calkins himself.

It's a day to celebrate, via "parade" the fun and joy of the imagination.

First, a background of Calkins Day

http://bryonyseries.blogspot.com/2017/01/getting-prepped-for-ed-calkins-day-one.html

Second, background on the "real" Ed Calkins

http://www.bryonyseries.com/The_Steward_of_Tara.html

And thirdly, how I intend to celebrate. Feel free to join me in your own space in the world.

For starters, the right outfit. I ordered a red and white striped shirt, very similar to Ed Calkins' style at the distribution center. With the shirt, I'm wearing with jeans and gym shoes (far nicer than I ever wore in the distribution center).

Now for the parade.

A traditional Ed Calkins parade featured Prime Minister Dan Yates (also a distribution manager supervisor from our past), pulling the Steward of Tara himself (Ed Calkins) on a pallet jack, while Ed tossed candy to the carriers.

Now I don't have a pallet jack available to me (pity). But I can distribute newspapers and candy. I have a red Calkins Day candy bowl (to complement the shirt) filled with bite-sized wrapped chocolate ready to go.

Tomorrow morning, since I have permission to work from home, I'm buying several newspapers from the gas station across the street and leaving them with the front counter as freebies to customers in honor of Calkins Day.

Timothy and Daniel are each taking some candy to work, to keep the parade moving east (into Indiana) and west (the west side of Joliet, anyway).

I will carry the rest to work and leave it in the break room for others to enjoy.

Throughout the day, I will "toss" virtual candy pieces along the trail of my day. Rebekah is home today and she is making the Irish Soda Bread from the BryonySeries cookbook, sans yellow raisins. If you missed the posting of the recipe yesterday, you may get it here: http://bryonyseries.blogspot.com/2017/02/irish-soda-bread-in-anticipation-of.html

Finally, I will recap the day with an original limerick. Photos and limerick to follow in tomorrow's blog.

A joyous Calkins Day to you and yours!

One Step Closer to Ed Calkins Day

My new candy bowl for the first Feb. 13 Calkins Day "parade."

Getting Prepped for Ed Calkins Day: One Striped Shirt, Check

“Of course, the highlight of the year is the Calkins Day parade on February thirteenth, my birthday. In fact, I have a petition circulating to make February twelfth through the fourteenth a three-day national holiday. Would you care to sign it?” (Bryony, Chapter 22, Lisa Harding)

As she walked in his direction to join him, Melissa saw a pot-bellied, bespectacled, gray-haired man wearing blue jeans and a white and red-striped shirt. He was pushing a pallet jack full of newspapers toward the table where John-Peter sat. Ed Calkins! The Steward of Tara! (Visage, Chapter 23: No Holds Barred)

Ed approached the next carrier. “Would you care to sign my petition? You see, my birthday falls between Lincoln’s birthday and Valentine’s Day, so I believe it should be a national holiday, complete with a parade.”(Visage, Chapter 23: No Holds Barred)

No new carrier slipped through the ranks without at least one request to sign Ed Calkins’ petition. Ed’s birthday fell between Abraham Lincoln’s birthday and Valentine’s Day, a fact significant enough, Ed felt, to warrant a three-day national holiday.

“The time will come when everyone around the world will eagerly anticipate the Ed Calkins Day parade,” Ed always said, beaming, as he pressed both paper and pen into the hesitant carrier’s hands.

In the meantime, Ed himself offered the joys and excitement of his parade to the elite crowd fortunate enough to deliver newspapers in the middle of the night from the Jenson warehouse. 

For as long as John-Peter could remember, he celebrated each February thirteen watching a carrier pull Uncle Ed through the building on the pallet jack, one John-Peter had decorated with green streamers and balloons for the occasion, while an exuberant Ed waved to his constituents with one hand and tossed bite-sized, wrapped pieces of candies from the other one toward the work stations.

("Staked!" Chapter 4: Midnight Apprentice)

Ah, Ed Calkins. What would this character be like without his famous petition and delusion that February 13 should be a national holiday? And yet, what better way to celebrate fiction in general and the BryonySeries in particular, than with a nonexistent holiday?

Sooooooo, in preparation for February 13, Ed Calkins Day, I've begun collecting items I will need for a modest parade Calkins Day parade of one (me).

And here we go!

Will Ed Calkins Ever Get His Due?

The creation the Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara, character in Bryony is a superimposition of the make believe on a real person who's already fictionalized himself.

Come again?

I first met Ed Calkins in 2007. At that time, Ed supervised one of four news agencies in a single warehouse after distribution for The Herald-News in Joliet (owned at the time by The Sun Times) was deconstructed and contracted out to the Chicago Tribune. For the remainder of my newspaper-delivery career (which ended in 2011), I would work for two to three news agencies at one time, whoever happened to handle the accounts I delivered.

If you've read the BryonySeries, you've met Ed Calkins: the the pot-bellied, bespectacled, gray-haired man wearing blue jeans and a white and red-striped shirt...pushing a pallet jack full of newspapers.

In the series, Ed, a vampire, fancies himself a "ruthless dictator" and calls himself "The Steward of Tara." He threatens people not with violent attacks for their blood and fear of death, but with badly composed limericks designed to ruin their good reputation.

Ed creates a verbal harem ('Oh, there’s no ceremony,” Ed said, “and no sex...I just appreciate beautiful women, and being a vampire doesn’t change that. You only verbally agree to join my harem. This way, I make wives left and right") and forever is inducing people to sign his petition: 

“Of course, the highlight of the year is the Calkins Day parade on February thirteenth, my birthday. In fact, I have a petition circulating to make February twelfth through the fourteenth a three-day national holiday. Would you care to sign it?”

Ed also lures potential carriers into his news agency: "It’s a profitable business, especially since I print my own currency. To amuse the peasants, I grill steaks on the Fourth of July, host a Queen of Christmas contest where I distribute candy canes and presents, and organize a pallet jack race for Labor Day.”

And it's all real. Except for printing his own currency. Even the dialogue is word for word to slight adaptations of real conversations with Ed. And it's all legal, per his and mine written agreement.

Ed had only one request: to be known. And, I fear, I've been lax in that department, especially where Calkins Day is concerned. Not many novel series come with built-in holidays. Every year, I resolve to create a celebration. Every year, February 13 comes and goes. Later, I remember with a clap to the forehead, a groan, and a swift text to Sarah: "We missed it again!"

This time, I being proactive.

I'm rolling around some ideas in my aging brain on how to properly commemorate the day. Nothing that's jelled yet. But it will get there. I promise.

“Next time,” Ed promised with a hearty smile and a farewell nod.

No, Ed. THIS time. 2017. I promise.