Showing posts with label point of view. Show all posts
Showing posts with label point of view. Show all posts

Thursday, September 28, 2017

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Setting and POV or What my Architect Father Inadvertently Taught My About World-Building

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Years ago, when my first husband and I were in the process of buying our first house, I brought my architect father with me to check out each possibility, well, the ones my husband and I both agreed were possibilities. For him, the more modern, the more trendy, the better. For me, the more vintage and within our price range, the better.

I learned a lot about fiction that way.

While I noted high ceilings, large rooms, sufficient bedrooms for our current brood (three at the time) with room to grow that family, whether or not such and such a room would need redecorating, and the size of the yard so the kids would have room to play, my father was checking out other things: the number of outlets in a room (should be one to each wall), amps or breakers and their number (breakers preferred), if the electric was up to current code, the amount of insulation in the attic, the heat source (He sternly advised against gravity heat in a three-story house), the last well test, and the location of the septic field. He'd even want to get up on the roof.

Creating a plausible setting for your story is more than simply describing the landscape. Setting has everything to do with your characters. Most of us, perhaps without realizing it, do not just notice our settings, we filter them, AND we react to them.

Suppose two of my sons - Christopher and Timothy - take me to a cell phone store to buy a cell phone for me. Since I don't understand the technology (even when it's explained to me), I usually let them do the sorting out of possibilities, while I wander around.

Both boys have a solid understanding of current products and can discuss cell phones for hours (Literally). Christopher, like his father, veers towards the newest, the latest, the whistles and bells - the obtaining of the most options for his money - and he will negotiate anything and everything in order to get as much free stuff as possible. He will also zero in on the sales person he will be most likely to "persuade" into those things. Timothy wants to discuss battery life, memory storage, the pros and cons of each brand and the specs of company that produces those phones, the contract terms.

Both boys will agree on free upgrades and the necessity of my phone fitting into pockets of chick jeans, which are notoriously teeny. Apparently, clothing designers can't understand some women like their clothing to be functional, as well as decorative.

So when describing a room, a landscape, a town, a person, remember that it's usually from the point view from the character noticing it. This will help you add the details and the ruminations particular to that character.

Some examples from my books:

Her mother parked in front of a dingy, squat-looking building, Sue’s Diner. Brian turned and rolled his eyes. Melissa mouthed back, probably get food poisoning.


She fretted about the report all the way past Main Street, which now split in two. One road led into the deeper part of the woods; the other wound up the hill toward their new home. Brian wiggled and bounced to see everything at once. The tops of the lush, profuse trees touched each other, but the sun filtered through the leaves and formed lacy patterns on the asphalt. Lake Munson, full of ducks and geese, rippled a clear blue-green.
   Big deal, she thought, catching herself watching them, determined to find nothing redeeming about her new home. Who cares about a bunch of old birds?


The box-shaped cottage was too flat, too old, too gray, too small, and most of all, too ugly. The Grover’s Park ranch, with grey-blue siding, black shutters, and a manicured yard with a few perennials and tomato plants, had been home. This could never be home.


She took three steps down the creaking stairs and glimpsed an old furnace and a washer and drier. Melissa couldn’t imagine doing laundry in that musty place, where snakes might lurk. She’d let Brian do it. He’d probably find it fun.


A wrought iron sign hanging from a small one-story building advertised homemade soaps, while the wood sign posted on the two-story home next door promoted its hand-dipped candles, which reminded Melissa of the candelabra on John’s desk inside Simons Mansion’s library.


One step inside Rudy’s, a large Queen Anne of reddish-brown stone, and Melissa knew Jenny had understated its elegance. To one side of the main lobby sat a concert grand piano, although not, Melissa thought smugly, a Schwechten.


Two boys shouldering matching blue-gray vinyl bags soon joined them. The taller boy had neatly combed sandy hair, gold-wire glasses, bow-shaped lips, and a serious face. His much thinner companion, with wispy brown hair and a scrawny mustache, winked at Tracy, and she blushed, the first time Melissa had seen her even slightly flustered. The boys unzipped their bags and removed shoes, several balls of different styles and weights, wrist braces, and monogrammed hand towels.
   “I think I’m in the wrong place,” Melissa said.
   Julie set her own ball on the return and grinned. “You’ll do fine. Let’s go find you a ball.”


An angry clicking sounded from the pond’s edge, and a cloud of monarch butterflies shot from the purple milkweed, hotly pursuing the flower sprites that preyed on their nectar. A hearty laugh broke through John-Peter’s lips and fluttered away into the woods. Although reluctant to leave such serenity, he stood, hungry now for something more than dandelions and ground beetles. He chuckled to himself. Those butterflies would never catch the fairy pack, especially with Aodhan leading it.


The oak trees surrounding him moaned his name, and the cool breeze rippled their leaves, as well as the tender grasses, causing them to dance about his feet. John-Peter,  the oaks' national hero, acknowledged their greeting with a detached nod. From here, the earth sloped downward, but John-Peter saw the top of the thatched roof of the tiny mud and grass cottage he forsook centuries ago. Even before he reached his home, he spied the overgrown weeds of what used to be his garden and decided he might have to hoe and plant before he brought the princess here, just in case she didn’t hunt for her food. Still, he waded through the tall greenery and stumbled upon a few cabbages and potatoes, entirely inappropriate for an ancient, abandoned, Irish garden, but this wasn’t his fantasy, and, besides, he was plenty thankful for their existence. He gathered an armful of food and trotted back to the cottage. Today’s breakfast, at least, was assured, thanks to the steward’s benevolence. He noted the cord of wood, as he pushed through the grassy, rear doorway. What a surprise. That wood should have rotted eons ago.


On Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation when Abbot was in town, father and son attended High Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral, its Federal-style architecture and plaster ceiling and walls resembling home: hard, beautiful, and cold. As erect and immobile as the marble statues, but not nearly so tall, Abbot stood beside his son, and, to the accompaniment of the Erben organ, sang those majestic Latin hymns in a strong and powerful tenor voice.


The outline of buildings came into view. John slowed his pace. He couldn't avoid spending his summer as a chore boy, but he could delay it. The white farmhouse, trimmed in dark gray, looked fresh and inviting in the early morning light. The shutters were still closed, a sign that the aged mistress of the farm, bound in the distance ancient sycamores, hadn't yet stirred. He rode straight back to the barns. Despite their age, they, too, appeared sturdy and well maintained, almost as if recently built. John hitched the horse and went inside the first one, meandering through the large building, gazing from side to side at the sleek thoroughbreds. The condition of the barn was impeccable. How had a single, elderly woman managed it, and did the widow really require his services?





Posted by Denise M. Baran-Unland at 5:54 AM

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

First Person? Third Person?

This was my dilemna going into the fifth and final unfinished novel in the series that comprises the entire prequel: Before the Blood.

I'm not even certain how this became a "thing."

All of the books, so far, in the BryonySeries are written in third person perfect. Which means the reader has the benefits of a first person perspective with a wider view. I had no intention of changing that.

Am I opposed to first person? No, when this series is complete, I have a werewolf story I began-ish a few years ago, and that story is told first person.

So what nagged at me to write the final BTB novel from a different point of view?

Two reasons.

One, since I already wrote novel number three from Bryony's perspective, I didn't want the final book to echo one from the past.

Two, Bryony's voice.

I kept "hearing" certain passages in a distant, surreal, first-person voice that I wanted to capture. But writing it in first person also felt disconnected from the Bryony in book number three, and I wanted the "voice" to be seamless and true.

So although I usually feel frustrated at the lack of sufficient novel-writing time, I kinda welcomed it these last few weeks while I pondered a solution.

And then Saturday morning, while cleaning house, it came to me.

I'll do both.

The body of the novel will be third person perfect.

But the voice of Bryony's ghost will interject comments in certain places, almost the way an occasional first-person a narrative breaks into a film's main action.

So in my early morning writing, I'll be editing the remaining shreds of Henry and fixing the typos in Cornell.

But this come Saturday...

I can't wait to write in earnest this weekend!



Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Henry Would Notice Detail


“Oh, Melissa, why persist in this delusion? John and I exist in such a half-awake state, never knowing the full delights of a good meal, art, architecture, music, or literature, only the memory of them.” (Bryony, Chapter 18: It Couldn't Be Masters)



Henry Matthews would notice detail.

The thought popped into my head as I was falling asleep on Saturday night. Being the weekend editor this past Saturday and Sunday meant no losing-track-of-time-and-space immersion in Before the Blood, but that  didn't mean I had to neglect it, either.

I still had plenty of scene descriptions to write, so I worked on some of those. They were okay, but something was off.

Henry Matthew would notice detail.

Don't get me wrong. I have detail. But I have not fully developed all of the details Henry would notice, especially at this point in his life. The character's perspective and response is key to making scenes feel real.

Each of those scenes need more grooming before the reader can see what Henry sees and feel what Henry feels. And yet, I don't want those scenes to be an info dump of useless information.

What would Hnery Matthews notice? Hmmm...

This week, I'll be taking a hard look at what's written.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

First Person, Third Person, POV...and What in the Heck is Third Person Perfect?

Who will tell this story? What will be the point of view? (POV)

That is one of the first decisions a writer will make for his novel. Not only who, but how?

Last night on the WriteOn Joliet Facebook page, one of the members asked this question: "What are your thoughts on first person vs. third person writing?" 

So here's some thoughts on both, along with one many writers often don't consider: third person perfect.

First person: The story is told from the point of view of one character. Advantage: The writer and readers can get inside the mind and heart of that character and identify strongly with said character. Disadvantage: The writer cannot stray from this position. If the first person character does not experience something, it cannot be added to the point of view. For writers that desire a lean focus for the story, first person is the best choice.

Example: Just as I rounded the front of the old house, there was a crunching of tires and a bright beam of light. Had the girls called the police? As my eyes adjusted to the scene, I saw the vehicle was not a squad car. Snowbell
 

Third person: The story is told from multiple points of view and has an objective narrator that ties those views together. Human interest stories are told this way. Advantage: The reader gets an overview of all the experiences and can enjoy those experiences from multiple perspectives, while getting glimpses of how they form a cohesive entire story. Disadvantage: Although your reader may be emotionally invested in the story and become attached to certain characters, the identification may be weaker than in first person, the difference between living inside one own's head and that of a good friend. For writers that wish their readers to see many impressions through the guidance of a narrator, third person is a good choice.

Example: The clerk behind the drugstore counter questioned the authenticity of a $100 bill – and it was a counterfeit – but Bill Patrianakos had a ready answer.

His boss had paid cash, he told the clerk about the bill he had forged.

But as Patrianakos hurried through the parking lot to his car, he heard a voice calling after him, “I got you boy! I got you boy!” Terrified, Patrianakos sped home, chopped his printer into tiny bits and waited for the police to arrive. They didn’t, and Patrianakos continued using heroin.

“I thought I was the exception, not the rule,” Patrianakos said. “I was not the poor minority in the inner city. I was just a normal kid in the suburbs." Joliet local shares heroin recovery story, The Herald-News, Jan. 21, 2014

Third person perfect: One that is not used as often and, as an editor once told me, the hardest of all to pull off. So given my natural tendency to make everything complicated, I, of course, used third person perfect for the BryonySeries, as I wanted my readers to identify with Melissa, while not necessarily agreeing with everything she thought, felt and did. Third person perfect has elements of both first person and third person. Advantage: As in first person, the story is told through the eyes of one character, but from a slight distance. This gives the reader the opportunity move with the character's perceptions, while noticing things the character does not or having the ability to interpret circumstances in a different way than the character does, since the reader is not dependent upon only the character's viewpoint. Disadvantage: Can be tricky to pull off. When giving the reader a wider impression of the story, the writer must be careful not to reveal anything the character is not noticing or experiencing, while still showing the larger horizon the character might be missing.

ExampleShe never imagined a vampire attack could be so wonderful. Better yet, John Simons, the vampire, was beginning to look like the John Simons of her dreams, even when she wasn’t dreaming. Could that mean her blood was helping him?
Maybe Ed Calkins is right, Melissa thought. Maybe, John seems handsome, now, because I kissed him. Maybe, it’s because I made a deal with him that someone else, seeing only his vampire side, would not have made.
The carriage lurched, and Melissa’s eyes flew open, but John’s countenance remained frigid and impassive, causing her to shiver. She took one wistful look at John, hoping he might warm her under the folds of his cloak, since she dared not ask him. She much preferred a substantial bleeding than his continued contempt.
When John did not move, Melissa resignedly closed her eyes and contemplated Henry’s confrontation. He was mistaken about John and her, despite John’s present detachment. Like Colpa, she thought, I do see the potential in John, and once he is human again, he’ll come around. It will just take some time, that’s all. Bryony, Chapter 20: Confusion in the Closet