Goodbye, Uncle Bill

There is a passage in Before The Blood: Bryony Simons that made me think of Bill Smolen whenever I stumbled upon it.

A tragedy has occurred in Munsonville, where Bryony Simons lives, and she is thinking back to how a childless couple, Orville Parks and Bertha Parks, stepped in to help raise her after the loss of her mother - and how dreary her life would have been without them.

And while thinking back, memories of things Mr. Parks had said to her come rushing back, ands she realizes all at once that he was wise, and she had missed that.

Mr. Parks wasn't a scholar, but he was full of wisdom, not lofty Biblical wisdom or even academic, philosophical wisdom, but the practical wisdom of a practical man.

I met Bill Smolen at St. Nicholas Orthodox Church in Homewood in the late 1980s. A Navy veteran, Bill never had children of his own. But he married a woman who had four, and he helped raise them and he helped raise many of those grandchildren that followed.

We got to know each other at church and through countless hours of really wonderful phone conversations. When Richard and I asked him to be Timothy's godfather, he became Uncle Bill to our family and a cherished family member as well.

Bill insisted on buying the christening outfit and, after the baptism, stopped out at least one Saturday a month (from Tinley Park to Joliet) with a box of doughnuts and plenty of conversation).

Timothy, of course, being a baby was unaware. But Bill established the relationship right from the beginning and extended that to all of my children.

Bill's responsibilities at his own home were huge, and Ron and I helped out financially from time to time, even buying Bill a used car when his broken down and he had no way to get to work and the grandchildren to and from school. And Bill insisted paying it back, which he did, fifty dollars at a time.

And when Ron developed dementia and we were losing our home, Bill insisted on giving Timothy money when he had to travel across the country for a culinary competition for Joliet Junior College - for we didn't have enough left over after bills to even buy Timothy new socks, let alone put cash in his pocket for the trip.

When Rebekah, also a JJC culinary arts student, had her practical final and could invite four family members, she invited Bill as one of them. Here he is below. Although Bill loved a good beef sandwich, he also enjoyed plate after plate of some very upscale food, impressed that the kids could make food like that.

 And afterwards...

...he went behind the scenes to shake their hands.

Bill was a great storyteller and told hilarious stories from his life, especially his Navy years, and had tons of practical wisdom to share.

But he was also a great collaborator. 

During the years I ran St. Nicholas' Sunday School and co-led the youth group with Ron, Bill was right there all the time.

He helped make pierogies with the kids for our St. Nicholas banquets.

He helped make pascha and Easter cheese to put into baskets.

If we ran out of eggs, he ran to the store.

If we ran out of butter, he ran to the store.

He was the first one at the church to light the ovens.

And he was one of the last ones out the door after the cleanup.

When a third of our Sunday School cast didn't show for church the we presented our Christmas play, he and Ron put on costumes and stood in for the shepherds, even kneeling in front of our makeshift managers. 

We worked plenty of spaghetti dinners with him over the years...

...and Bill managed the youth at those dinners, who bussed all the tables.

Rebekah who is shy, dyslexic, and has Asperger's, found it easy to talk with Bill. And Bill had no trouble communicating with her.

Sometimes the greatest among us are not the ones who brightly shine above the rest, who receive accolades upon accolades, or who influence the world in stand-out ways.

Sometimes the greatest among us are working hard, extremely hard, in the background and steadily supporting the people the people and causes in their lives.

That person was Uncle Bill, who passed away over the weekend.

May his memory always be eternal and his influence live out for generations to come.