Dear Momi (Mistress of My Immortality):
Surely, you jest as
to why I haven't been able to drop you a line. My internal investigation into
the IVA's involvement with Pope Benedict’s resignation is quite difficult as
you can imagine any internal investigation would be when you don't know who the
members are.
As the only public member and spokesman, I can assure you
that allegations of strong arming the Pope, intimidating him, or scribbling on
him with colored markers, are being investigated. In case you haven't drawn any
parallels into the Pope's resigning I should point out that Calkins Day fell on
Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for Catholics.
For members of faith,
Lent is supposed to be a long period of fasting, somber refection, and self-denial,
making it difficult for the joyful indulgence of Ireland’s most ruthless dictator,
paper boy, and vampire extraorindaire. Of course this limitation only applies
to Catholics; do you think there are any of those in Ireland?
I personally have argued against dispensation the way the
Vatican treats St Paddy (who wants to piss off a saint), but I’m sure the
Bishop of Rome was warned what might happen if Lent wasn't pushed back a month.
(The season of Lent is determined by a lunar calendar, so the actual day moves;
I think it’s the same in your Eastern Orthodox faith.)
Anyway, my reading of
Visage has until now been delayed because I gave any too many copies, leaving
me to share with my wife, granddaughter, and son. I've just started reading
it... or will by the week’s end so NO SPOILERS, please.
Already my granddaughter, who was really too young to
attempt the book—she’s nine-- is asking for her leprechaun and giggling. My
wife groaned about newspapers and muttered that I'm going to need larger pants
for my ego after this.
Once again, Momi, you must not feel guilty about turning
down my proposal of marriage. The hurt inside will heal and make me a stronger,
more ruthless vampire for the wear if it. I'll update you latter on the Pope
thing.
Yours (not your husband, of course, but yours), truly,
Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara
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