Saturday, November 13, 2010

Denise Unland's Alternative Geneology Part 8

By Ed Calkins, The Steward of Tara

Luckily, help was to come from Rome. There, a certain visionary ability for predicting future trends was not matched with basic knowledge of geography or common sense. Cardinal Bush realized that a new religion was gaining converts in the spiritual vacuum in North Africa.

He knew if something wasn't done, this new religion would spread to rival that of the church. Missionaries had to be deployed! Existing orders had to be reinvented. To this end, he sent Brother Clover and his monks a new mandate. 'Go to Greece and convert any potential Turks.' Shrugging his shoulders, Brother Clover deployed his monks, leaving the island of Iceland to be discovered and settled latter in history.

Once in Greece, the flaw of sending a pack of monks, who knew not a word of Greek and taking a vow of silence anyway, became clear. The monks did their best they to pantomime the gossip but the populous, who were already Christian, thought the Catholic guys in ropes were suffering some kind of spastic disorder possible caused by a misplaced devotion to a pope. Doing what they did back then when anyone had spastic fits, they called the priests for help.

Perhaps this could have been the first Christian vs. Christian religious war as the priests and brothers eyed each other hostilely. Surely bad words would have slipped if the monks could talk. Fists might have flown if they weren't men of the cloth. Angry gestures were directed at the priests and were countered by words in Greek, but both sides quickly realized the futility of this confrontation. Quickly it was decided that a drinking contest was the only way to settle it.

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