Denise Unland's Alternative Geneology Part 9

By Ed Calkins, The Steward of Tara

Now, as luck would have it, the winery down the block was owned by a descendant of Uly of too many children. This is clear because her name was Number Six. Predictably, as in any drinking contest between Irishmen and Greeks, the contest lasted for three days.

Number Six and her staff struggled valiantly to refill the tankers of wine that the holy men consumed with bravo. After three days, however, priests and brothers alike began to collapse in drunken stupors. It’s unclear who won. The last man drinking was probably too drunk to know he was alone. Nor could Number Six and her staff be sure, for after the straight days without sleep, they collapsed too (not everyone has the stuff of a news carrier).

What is known is that in the hangover that followed, the monks assumed that they had endured enough misery to claim some derivative of martyrdom, paid the check, and left for Ireland. On the trip back, they began rethinking the retreat from the vows they had taken. Clearly silence and poverty were overrated and, while chastity was a great way to stay single, it wasn't getting anyone any grandchildren.

Unknown to history is whether or not Orthodox priests had the same post hangover during their rethinking, but it is known that they paid the check.