Denise Unland's Alternative Geneology Part 7

By Ed Calkins, The Steward of Tara

To such an end, Brother Clover and his fellow monks discovered a unpopulated shore of ice somewhere in the northwestern Atlantic and pledged to eke out a living there. Lest that prove too easy, they also took vows of chastity, poverty, and silence.

Not long afterwards, boats appeared on the horizon. More brothers wanted in on this. Unwilling to horde their spiritual riches, they brothers accepted the new recruits but added more prayer and longer work days to the docket.

As years went by, more monks came to join, to the point where the island, harsh as it was, became quite populated, some would say crowded, so vegetarianism was added. (More evidence that Clover was related to Leo the comic.) This did stop the less committed from becoming monks, but it didn't stop them from wanting to serve God, through helping the monks.

It started innocently enough, an occasional cake baked from someone’s mother but it rapidly expanded. Soon, mothers fought over the right to cook for the monks, while gardeners competed to work in the gardens. Dishes got washed. Clothes were pressed. Furniture was dusted. Even people without time to help this way insisted on getting a piece of the Martyr racket by tossing coins on the shore. Monks became so fat and lazy they could hardly walk.

Brother Clover could take no more. In a combination of miming, finger gesturing, and mouthing words he laid down the law. No servants for the monks! They all had to leave and take their meals, clothes, furniture, perfumes, footbaths, fine art, pinball machines, jewels, fineries, and money with them! Well, the monks understood perfectly but their mothers refused to get the hint.