Deareset MOMI (Mistress of My Immortality):
Forgive the silence between this email and the last but in my frantic conversations with the IVA (Irish Vampires Association), the lake front property grab of greedy investors that have realized the climate change to occur in the Sahara region (five hundred years from now and counting; buy while it’s cheap) and the lack of attention historians have given to the role of beer, I've forgotten the invention of email.
Forgive the silence between this email and the last but in my frantic conversations with the IVA (Irish Vampires Association), the lake front property grab of greedy investors that have realized the climate change to occur in the Sahara region (five hundred years from now and counting; buy while it’s cheap) and the lack of attention historians have given to the role of beer, I've forgotten the invention of email.
The IVA is quickly becoming a organization of worry warts and is now
concerned that too many copies of Bryony are being sold too quickly. My
assertion that Denise doesn't hold that opinion has done little to quell the
fear.
Consider their perspective. How many copies of The Iliad
sold in its first year? Since no form of Greek writing existed, we know for a
fact the answer is "zero." But a mere six hundred years later, the tale made the
Roman “best seller” list,” and no aristocrat was caught dead without a
translated copy.
The IVA has seen this happen to numerous books and has true
reservations of how many copies of Bryony will be available one million years form now.
(Remember, I did predict the book would be worth six mil two thousand years
from now.)
Now Denise, much could be done on your part if you raised
the price by a thousand percent or simply promise not to print any more copies
two hundred years after your death. The later option could be done in the form
of a will.
Ruthlessly yours,
Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara
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