Monday, September 10, 2012

Forever Remembered....

In Bryony, Melissa's younger brother twice experiences the loss of a beloved pet, and both times he's deeply affected by the experience. Fortunately for Brian, he has a mentor, Steve Barnes, to navigate him through those choppy waters.

Research shows people grieve the loss of a companion animal with the same intensity as for a close relative. Unfortunately, society as a whole does not always understand how a person, especially when that person is a man, can so deeply mourn a cat or a dog. After all, it's not a human being, right?

Each week since 2001, I've written a column, An Extraordinary Life, which memorializes a local, recently deceased person that has lived an interesting and/or an inspiring life. This means each week I'm talking to at least one grieving person about a loved one that has recently passed. I allow plenty of time for these interviews.

For a short time, another writer was offering a similiar feature on the newspaper's pet page, but the writer had difficulty consistently coming up with stories. I offered to do it, but the editor was lukewarm about the feature, and she ultimately dropped it.

When I'm interviewing people for An Extraordinary Life, I'm allowing people to express the happy times they remember with their loved one, which does help them work through their grief. Most of them, men and women, end up crying, then aopolgize for doing it. I reassure and encourage them otherwise. Often, they share details about their loved one's death, but I never press for those details. It is rarely the focus of the story.

Until last week.

For along time, I've wanted to write a story about the sadness one feels at the loss of a pet and then offer healthy ways to move through it. Sorrow, though, can be a tricky subject to discuss because too many of us are uncomfortable expressing it, especially to a reporter and especially when those wounds are still very much open and raw. This is the first story where I've specifically asked someone to expound upon his sorrow. I give him props. Most of us would rather not be that vulnerable and transparent.

So if you're grieving, or have ever grieved a pet, or if you're unsure how to address the topic with your child, check out this story. The account is not only openly honest, it contains some wonderful ideas for making a smooth transition from pain to healing.

http://heraldnews.suntimes.com/lifestyles/15055877-423/forever-remembered.html


 

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