The Last Splutter

So the short horror story that I shared on May 25 has a part two and, ultimately, a happy ending.

But the road to that epic end was fraught with danger and unpleasant surprises.

Because Daniel's solution to coaxing the Keurig into giving up coffee for me was to appease it with extra water, to prime, was his explanation. Or maybe he meant "to bribe it."

At any rate, he didn't feel we needed a new Keurig because it always worked for him.

So each time I wanted a cup of coffee, I filled the Keurig with water, which I let run into the cup before I made the actual "for real" cup of coffee.

I should also mention that the Keurig took a long time to to heat.

So basically, a cup of coffee was a two-step, twenty-minute, back and forth process, before the Keurig reluctantly granted me what I so desperately sought.

I should mention that bowing before it and muttering a few incantations wasn't at all useful.

A few days later, Daniel's recommended amount of "priming" water ceased to work. The Keurig simply sucked it right up and demanded more.

It was totally in charge of this relationship. So I submitted to its demanded by adding a bit more...and a bit more...and a bit more.

But our relationship did disintegrate to the point that I eyed it suspiciously, especially in the pre-dawn hours when I was more desperate for coffee. I swear I heard it chuckle whenever I turned it on.

Then one day, it demanded so much water, that it made horrible grinding sounds, sounds I've never heard a Keurig emit.

But it did provide the desired coffee. I had won, this time.

As I headed upstairs with my cup of joy, I told Daniel I really thought that was the end of the Keurig.

He said, "You hoped."

I'm not going to lie. I did.

Well, the next morning, no amount of water would persuade the Keurig to send some of it back into my cup. It simply gave one last splutter and shut off. 

And it would not turn on, not even for Daniel.

But the story has a happy ending.

Yes! You guessed it!

We bought a nice, NEW Keurig.

And this nice, new Keurig produces hot, delicious coffee in record time.

Looking back, perhaps the old machine wasn't being vindictive. Perhaps, it's time had simply come.

Perhaps I should be thankful for all the hot cups of coffee it provided in between the death of the last machine and the new one.

Yes, I am thankful.

However...

The Keurig is dead. Long live the Keurig!