Sunday, July 31, 2022
Saturday, July 30, 2022
Friday, July 29, 2022
Story Round-Up: Features in The Herald-News, July 22 to July 29
Good morning!
I have twelve feature stories to share with you today - and more not yet posted. AND I'm working through the weekend. So do check back on The Herald-News site: shawlocal.com/the-herald-news.
This past spring, I also wrote an additional nineteen stories for a special "Thank You, Teachers," edition that will ran in print and online on May 5. You can check out all those stories at this link: https://www.shawlocal.com/the-herald-news/thank-you/teachers/
I also wrote a three-part series on the impact of COVID on kids, which you will at the bottom of this blog.
On the fiction side of things, we recently released Cornell Dyer and the "Mistical" Being. It's not available in the BryonySeries bookstore yet, or on Kindle yet, but it is available on Amazon.
We also released Cornell Dyer and the Calcium Deficient Bones. It, too, is not available in the BryonySeries bookstore yet, or on Kindle yet, but it is available on Amazon.
And we also (FINALLY) released Call of the Siren (the second book in the BryonySeries Limbo trilogy, with gorgeous cover art by Nancy Calkins). It, too, is not available in the BryonySeries bookstore yet, or on Kindle yet, but it is available on Amazon.
I'm currently outlining the final book in the BryonySeries Limbo trilogy: House on Top of the Hill.
And I'm also working on a guide book to the series called: Welcome to Munsonville: the People, Places, and Things of the BryonySeries.
Next up in the series: a Sherlock Holmes parody (the main character is Sherman Homes), which has a solid outline. Sue Midlock is already working on the cover and the interior art: Sherman Homes and the Howls of Basketville.
Jennifer Wainright (frontispiece artist for Lycanthropic Summer) has completed two portraits for "Girls of the BryonySeries" series for tween girls and is currently working on a third. The portraits are beautiful and it shows that artist Jennifer Wainright can draw anything from werewolves to portraits!
Rebekah has completed cover art for two of "Girls of the BryonySeries" books. They are beautiful! One book in this series of eight books is completely written, a second is halfway written, and the rest are outlined.
Rebekah is also working on updating the BryonySeries YouTube and Pinterest accounts, so watch for those.
Now back to the twelve stories. Simply click on the link of the story that looks interesting to you. Happy scrolling!
But before the stories, I have a list of additional resources and information. Please check them out, too -
Finally, if you'd like to find more kindness in your life, consider this book.
And have a great Friday!
RECIPE OF THE WEEK
Sue's Diner is a fictional restaurant in the fictional Munsonville that only exists in the BryonySeries.
Each Sunday, we post a new recipe. The recipe is either featured in one of our cookbooks or will be featured in an upcoming cookbook.
Check out the recipe here.
WRITERS
If you'd like to officially join WriteOn Joliet, we have two tiers of dues. We also have a marketing arm that's getting longer every year, well, except this year. Check us out at writeonjoliet.com.
Daily updates: I do post the briefs on Twitter during the week, so you're welcome to follow me at @Denise_Unland61.
BryonySeries stuff: I post curated content relating to the BryonySeries on Twitter at @BryonySeries and assorted related content at facebook.com/BryonySeries, youtube.com/user/BryonySeries, and themes of each book in the BryonySeries at pinterest.com/bryonyseries.
And of course, please follow the adventures of Bertrand the Mouse on Instagram at bertrand_bryonyseries.
BRYONYSERIES BOOKS
For books and more information about the series, visit bryonyseries.com.
BRYONYSERIES EVENTS
A full month of virtual events can be found at bryonyseries.com/calendar-of-events.
QUESTIONS
Email me at bryonyseries@gmail.com.Thank you for reading The Herald-News. And for reading this blog. And if you've read (or plan to read) any of my books. Your support is greatly appreciated.
FEATURES
A look at why prices are up in Will County – and how you can cope
Pets of the Week: July 25, 2022: Will County rescues have dogs and cats for adoption.
Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet anounces lineup for the holidays
Kids and COVID
Thursday, July 28, 2022
10 Quotes from "Before The Blood: Bryony Marseilles"
When we were getting ready to release Bryony back in 2011, my daughter Sarah (who did a lot of the marketing for me) suggested I pull thirty teaser quotes from the book that she could post on Facebook, one each day.
BRYONY MARSEILLES
CHAPTER 1: WORM IN THE APPLE
"It's
far from ideal, especially in her condition," Algernon said as he and
Galien spread out blankets in thick layers. "But it wouldn't do to have
you at the parsonage, you understand."
Galien nodded and stacked the satchels against the wall on top of the first layer.
"Not that I have any objection," Algernon quickly added. "But my sister keeps house for me, and you know how women's tongues can wag."
To Adele's delight, Galien blushed again, quite deeply red this time
CHAPTER
2: THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH
On
clear days, Galien ventured to the general store for Belinda Drake's coffee and
news. On stormy days, he and Adele stayed close by the fire, reading, studying,
journaling, drinking tea, and ignoring the desperate howls of starving wolves.
Yet at the end of the day, regardless of weather, Galien knew no finer recreation than lying across the sofa, no pillow more luxurious than Adele’s soft lap, and no angel’s hymn sweeter than Adele’s voice as she read aloud from Chaucer.
CHAPTER
3: BREATH OF LIFE
She was the lake, and the lake was she.
From deep beyond deep, it called to
her from depths, and her chest rose and fell its answer. Sometimes its waves
were gentle and easy; sometimes they were short and choppy; sometimes they were
rapid, harsh, and heaving with spume.
CHAPTER
4: BABY STEPS.
They fled with little more than the clothes they were wearin', on a stolen wagon and stolen horses, sick horses that died where they fell.
So they'd walked the rest of the
way. Wasn't the first time.
Mister Munson didn't want
particulars. He jest stood there, grinnin' under his bushy mustache as he
pushed back his cowboy hat and askin' the one question that made all the
diff'rens: Are you willin' to work?
And Sebbie, drunker than a skunk on
the Fourth of July with the last of their pilferin's, had hung his head, which
made him look shorter than what he was, and said, "Yes."
Then Mister Munson slapped his back
and said, "Welcome to Munsonville."
The look on Sebbie's face as he
slowly looked up...it was the first and only time she'd seen tears in her husband's
eyes.
It was also the first and only time
anyone ever welcomed them. Mostly, people put boot toes up their asses.
CHAPTER
5: A MOST PERFECT PLACE TO LIVE
Dr. Stone snickered and shook his head in a pitying way, while tapping his ashes against the tray. "Come, come, Algernon. You speak of Man's nobility in the same breath as a cast-off rib."
"You can't deny some women complement their husbands in terms of intelligence, diligence, and temperance," Professor Clarke addressed the group, but his gaze rested on Dr. Stone. "Man's mission to the world is enhanced when the rib fits perfectly. Much like the glass slipper on Ashputtel, wouldn't you agree, Sebastian?"
"I
wouldn't know anything about it," Mr. Betts said glumly, which caused all
the men to laugh.
CHAPTER
6: THE MYSTERIOUS, MIRACULOUS MEDICAL BAG
"So Dr. Gothart," Dr. Sidney Stone said, and Bryony sat attention. "What's the latest from Europe?"
"The debunking of bloodletting for most conditions...finally."
A low rumbling of male voices responded and then silence. Bryony learned forward as much she dared.
"Come, come, Dr. Gothart," Dr. Stone said. "You don't propose to abandon clinical experience and empirical observation for the theories of pathology and physiology?"
"Microscopes and their specimens don't lie."
"Neither does clinical experience and empirical observation."
CHAPTER
7: DOUBLE VISION
Bryony grabbed a spoon and started on the bite-sized pieces of beef, drenched in a puddle of their blood. They were raw, messy, so unlike the white pureness of fish.
CHAPTER
8: THE DARK SIDE OF PROGRESS
"Miss Daisy, we had plenty of meat. Any critters sneaking into our basement and hoping to winter with us was skewered and roasted over the fire. That job fell to your Grandpa Clyde, because he kept losing at checkers."
Grandpa
Clyde snickered and slid his hat over his face.
"Finally,
the only item left in the cellar was a burlap sack."
"A body!" Daisy cried excitedly.
"Watermelon
seeds!"
CHAPTER
9: THE DREADED CURSE BEGINS
Mrs. Parks gasped and dropped the plates, scattering food and fragments everywhere. Reverend dashed to the coat rack. Bryony flew after him and grabbed her cloak.
Reverend whirled around. "Daughter, what are you doing?"
"Going with you."
"Absolutely not!"
"Try and stop me, Father!"
To her amazement, Reverend sighed as
he accepted his bag from Mrs. Parks, who had scuttled to his office to retrieve
it.
"Very well, Bryony, but I'm
warning you. A man's sick room is not a romantic place to be."
CHAPTER
10: CHILLED
Cyrus
demanded an inn. Sebastian didn't object; no one did.
"I
promised to make Munsonville grow," Sebastian said. "And I am."
"You
are," Reverend agreed.
Damn
him.
Wednesday, July 27, 2022
Sue's Diner: S'mores Cookies
This week's recipe for is for s'mores cookies, which Rebekah prepared for overall munching this past weekend while four of us watched a miniseries.
These are basically a chocolate chip cookie recipe with the addition of graham crackers and marshmallows.
Some recipes call for the marshmallows to be placed on top. But for this cookie, Rebekeh baked the marshmallows inside, so each bite had a marshmallow and graham cracker surprise.
Try this recipe on the Sue's Diner page on the BryonySeries website.
But try the recipe this week. It will be gone some time next week. A new recipe will take it's place.
As proof that this was indeed my birthday "cake," please see the photo below it with my "61" candles.
Here is the full diner page: bryonyseries.com/sue-s-diner. You can't really order, of course (wouldn't it be great if you could?).
For more BryonySeries recipes, check out our three cookbooks at our BryonySeries bryonyseries.com/general-store.
Tuesday, July 26, 2022
Signed - From the Past
My sister messaged me over the weekend and said she was sending me a birthday gift, that it should arrive Monday, and to watch for it.
Yesterday was long (but not long enough for my work list), packed to the brim, and seasoned with a bit of stress, which is part of the bargain of working in twenty-first century journalism, I think, of which I am blessed, truly.
When the box arrived, Rebekah brought it up to me, and I gave it a nod of acknowledgment without stopping to do more.
When I was a little girl, my sister and I watched Miss Universe and Miss America pageants with our babysitters (the girls who were in seventh or eighth grade who stayed with us for an evening while our parents went out) because they were interested in them.
Sometimes, we would play-act these pageants, and the babysitter for the night would interview us. I remember one time the question was "Who is your favorite author?"
And without hesitation, I answered, "Ruth M. Arthur."
The babysitter paused. She had never heard of Ruth M. Arthur. And quite frankly, neither had I.
This was years before the internet. I had only read one book by Ruth M. Arthur, and I only knew what the jacket flap said about her (if anything).
But I loved that one book, A Candle in Her Room, to actual, literal pieces. And the love for that story inspired and fueled my desire to be a writer and an author.
Fast forward to modern times. I have since found other titles by Ruth M. Arthur. She had six children (a marvelous coincidence), and the stories she wrote grew up with her children.
This means, when they were young, she wrote stories for young children. By the late 1950s, she was writing young adult stories for girls before "young adult" was a genre - although I thought it was. In fact, I remember when "young adult" because a real term, and I was puzzled, thinking, "What's new about that?"
Many of Ruth M. Arthur's stories for girls had a Gothic mood and involved "time slips" - where the main character "slips" into another time by supernatural or inexplicable means.
From reading reviews and summaries of some of these books, my sense is that these teen girl protagonists are experiencing challenges or struggling against something, and that, through these time slips, they receive knowledge, encouragment, and resolution.
I found it interesting that she died in 1979, the year I graduated from high school and officially began my adult life.
Hold these last few thoughts.
Now I've had several of Ruth M. Arthur's books on my wish lists - but I've never bought one. Money is tight, and I am rather tight when it comes to that money. So I will buy a book, one day, someday, but not now.
You probably know where this story is heading.
But I'll bet you don't know all of it.
Yes, my sister's gift was a book by Ruth M. Arthur. It's called The Whistling Boy, and it has a synopsis so slowly paced, it would likely be rejected in today's market.
When her father remarries only one year after the death of her mother, Kirsty Newton tries to accept her new stepmother Lois, and to be affectionate and helpful toward her, but finds herself increasingly overcome by feelings of intense rage and sorrow. Bitterly resentful that Lois has achieved an emotional closeness with her undemonstrative father, something she herself has always longed for, and painfully reminded of her loss every time Lois speaks, Kirsty's efforts to suppress her feelings and behave decently lead to a frightening series of anxiety attacks.
When Kirsty is given the opportunity to go away for the summer, to stay on a farm in Norfolk and pick fruit, she jumps at the chance to escape her problems. Settling into her new routine at Old Manor Farm with the friendly and down-to-earth Dillons, Kirsty soon befriends Jake Meryon, the local doctor's son, and becomes caught up in a mystery involving a strange whistling ghost.
I read just a few pages last night. Faith, my calico, has cancer and gets clingy at bedtime and wants my full attention and eye contact, not a distracted stroking of her fur with one hand while I'm enjoying a story in the other.
But my sister just didn't find a hardcover book in excellent condition. In perfect Ruth M. Arthur time slip fashion, on a day when writing challenges piled up, I opened the book to find this:
Monday, July 25, 2022
61 for 61
Sunday, July 24, 2022
Saturday, July 23, 2022
Friday, July 22, 2022
Story Round-Up: Features in The Herald-News, July 16 to July 22
Good morning!
I have eight feature stories to share with you today - and more not yet posted. So do check back on The Herald-News site: shawlocal.com/the-herald-news.
This past spring, also wrote an additional nineteen stories for a special "Thank You, Teachers," edition that will ran in print and online on May 5. You can check out all those stories at this link: https://www.shawlocal.com/the-herald-news/thank-you/teachers/
I also wrote a three-part series on the impact of COVID on kids, which you will at the bottom of this blog.
On the fiction side of things, we recently released Cornell Dyer and the "Mistical" Being. It's not available in the BryonySeries bookstore yet, or on Kindle yet, but it is available on Amazon.
We also released Cornell Dyer and the Calcium Deficient Bones. It, too, is not available in the BryonySeries bookstore yet, or on Kindle yet, but it is available on Amazon.
And we also (FINALLY) released Call of the Siren (the second book in the BryonySeries Limbo trilogy, with gorgeous cover art by Nancy Calkins). It, too, is not available in the BryonySeries bookstore yet, or on Kindle yet, but it is available on Amazon.
I'm currently outlining the final book in the BryonySeries Limbo trilogy: House on Top of the Hill.
And I'm also working on a guide book to the series called: Welcome to Munsonville: the People, Places, and Things of the BryonySeries.
Next up in the series: a Sherlock Holmes parody (the main character is Sherman Homes), which has a solid outline. Sue Midlock is already working on the cover and the interior art: Sherman Homes and the Howls of Basketville.
Jennifer Wainright (frontispiece artist for Lycanthropic Summer) has completed two portraits for "Girls of the BryonySeries" series for tween girls and is currently working on a third. The portraits are beautiful and it shows that artist Jennifer Wainright can draw anything from werewolves to portraits!
Rebekah has completed cover art for two of "Girls of the BryonySeries" books. They are beautiful! One book in this series of eight books is completely written, a second is halfway written, and the rest are outlined.
Rebekah is also working on updating the BryonySeries YouTube and Pinterest accounts, so watch for those.
Now back to the eight stories. Simply click on the link of the story that looks interesting to you. Happy scrolling!
But before the stories, I have a list of additional resources and information. Please check them out, too -
Finally, if you'd like to find more kindness in your life, consider this book.
And have a great Friday!
RECIPE OF THE WEEK
Sue's Diner is a fictional restaurant in the fictional Munsonville that only exists in the BryonySeries.
Each Sunday, we post a new recipe. The recipe is either featured in one of our cookbooks or will be featured in an upcoming cookbook.
Check out the recipe here.
WRITERS
If you'd like to officially join WriteOn Joliet, we have two tiers of dues. We also have a marketing arm that's getting longer every year, well, except this year. Check us out at writeonjoliet.com.
Daily updates: I do post the briefs on Twitter during the week, so you're welcome to follow me at @Denise_Unland61.
BryonySeries stuff: I post curated content relating to the BryonySeries on Twitter at @BryonySeries and assorted related content at facebook.com/BryonySeries, youtube.com/user/BryonySeries, and themes of each book in the BryonySeries at pinterest.com/bryonyseries.
And of course, please follow the adventures of Bertrand the Mouse on Instagram at bertrand_bryonyseries.
BRYONYSERIES BOOKS
For books and more information about the series, visit bryonyseries.com.
BRYONYSERIES EVENTS
A full month of virtual events can be found at bryonyseries.com/calendar-of-events.
QUESTIONS
Email me at bryonyseries@gmail.com.Thank you for reading The Herald-News. And for reading this blog. And if you've read (or plan to read) any of my books. Your support is greatly appreciated.
FEATURES
Kids and COVID
Thursday, July 21, 2022
10 Quotes from "Before The Blood: Kellen Wechsler"
When we were getting ready to release Bryony back in 2011, my daughter Sarah (who did a lot of the marketing for me) suggested I pull thirty teaser quotes from the book that she could post on Facebook, one each day.
KELLEN WECHSLER
CHAPTER 1: ASHES
Laech scowled at Metta. "You bad girl. If you were my daughter, I'd whip you." He glanced at Metta's man. "Whip her good, Captain Wechsler."
CHAPTER
2: FORBIDDEN FRUIT
In later years, Kellen Wechsler would tell it like this: The only door that ever opened to him was the womb, and even that was to spit him out into a cruel world where everything good, bad, and indifferent was denied him.
CHAPTER
3: THE VISION
Kellen married Catarin in May, enlarged the family hut in June, and baptized his first son, Allecke, in July. Ten months later, the Wechslers welcomed their first daughter, Marige, into the world. Three more sons (Jurgen, Otto, Hilmar) and three more daughters (Eugell, Alheit, and Leveke) arrived one after the other. During that time, death also claimed Marige, Otto, and Eugell. After that, Kellen stopped noting the children's appearance or disappearance and let Catarin do the naming and tracking.
CHAPTER
4: BEATEN DOWN
"Wechsler," Herr Schapmester said as Kellen led his family into church. "Come to my office before you head out to the farm. It appears you've shorted us a ducat or two."
Kellen paused and glanced at Catarin who glanced at Metta who twisted the littlest girl's arm. Catarin tossed her head and marched through the doorway, Metta and the children following her.
"Have your men recalculate," Kellen said. "I have fulfilled my obligations."
"What's the matter Wechsler?
Can't settle your debts like a man?"
"I have settled all the debts I
intend to settle."
Herr Schapmester's cheeks flushed beneath his
beard. "We shall see, Wechsler. We shall see."
The next day, Nolthe flew into the
house while Kellen was stepping into his breeches, bawling that he couldn't
hitch the horses to the cart because the horses were dead.
CHAPTER
5: BLACK DEATH
Wailing, wailing. Everywhere, wailing.
If not wailing, then eerie, uneasy, disquieting silence.
Both were for the same reasons: Death.
Black, grisly, painful death.
It happened fast, and it happened like this.
CHAPTER
6: ANGEL OR DEMON?
Tonight, Kellen promised himself as he stepped over the sticky mess, tonight he and Margaret would keep it simple, coffee and a hamburger.
When he returned, Margaret, resembling a battered raccoon with last night's mascara smeared across her face, was propped up in bed, sucking peanut butter from a spoon and listening to Lux Radio Theater. After a quick scan of the headlines, Kellen shed his clothes and slid back between the sheets, his mind already wavering somewhere between the cool pillowcase and Fibber McGee and Molly.
"Switch it off when you're
done, darling," Kellen slurred.
CHAPTER
7: STARTING FRESH
Kellen had positioned himself upon the chest of the Burgermeister of Seulobitz and was contemplating which vein provided the juiciest first bite by playing Ene, tene, mone, mei, when the Burgermeister opened his eyes and recoiled.
"Mein Gott! It's
Beelzebub!"
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm
nothing of the sort." Kellen tossed his head, and sniffed in mock offense,
irked that the man's wakefulness would kill the sweet taste in his blood.
"I'm just a midnight mirage bringing eternal slumber." He pointed a
claw at the man's wide nose. "Now make this pleasanter for both of us and
go back to sleep."
CHAPTER
8: JUST SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE
Abruptly, Kellen stopped. There it was: 4 East 7th Street.
“Well,”
Kellen said aloud. “Well, well, well, well, well.”
He should have known. The place where illusion met realit
Reality. Kellen gave a short laugh.
CHAPTER NINE: THE SUITE LIFE
"Coffee?" the devil asked in a nasal voice through tightly clamped fingers.
"Coffee...and cognac."
Twirling his tail, the devil
scampered to the kitchen screaming, "One vessel of mortal sins, with a
squirt of molten brimstone!"
CHAPTER
10: THE VACATION
Wednesday, July 20, 2022
Sue's Diner: Ricotta Cheesecake
This week's recipe for is for a ricotta cheesecake, which Rebekah prepared for my sixty-first birthday.
I've loved cheesecake since I was very young, and this version by Rebekah is my absolute favorite cheesecake in the world.
If you've never tried cheesecake made with ricotta, here's your chance to make it at home. It's less sweet and sweet, dryer and more firm, yet still very rich and with (I think) a more satisfying texture and taste.
Try this recipe on the Sue's Diner page on the BryonySeries website.
But try the recipe this week. It will be gone some time next week. A new recipe will take it's place.
As proof that this was indeed my birthday "cake," please see the photo below it with my "61" candles.
Here is the full diner page: bryonyseries.com/sue-s-diner. You can't really order, of course (wouldn't it be great if you could?).
For more BryonySeries recipes, check out our three cookbooks at our BryonySeries bryonyseries.com/general-store.
Tuesday, July 19, 2022
Algorithms
Merrium-Webstersays defines algorithm as such: "The current term of choice for a problem-solving procedure, algorithm, is commonly used nowadays for the set of rules a machine (and especially a computer) follows to achieve a particular goal."
In social media, algorithims determine how posted content is sorted and what will appear in news feeds. This ranking system is necessary, based on the sheer amount of content that's delivered and the millions of people using social media.
Businesses pay attention to algorithims to allow readers to see their content and encourage engagement.
Authors are encouraged to do likewise, to gain a following, so people read their posts, and (hopefully) buy their books.
Again, I understand why this is necessary.
Here's my big "however."
I'm probably in a minority when I say social media should be, in its very essence, very social. Even though I'm a fledgling author, my related social media pages are meant to be, again, very social. This means the content I post is meant to enhance the reader's experiences with my books.
So my posts on my BryonySeries acounts have an assumption that you either are familiar with my books and want to see additional, related content or that you are interested in the content and might discover I have some books to go along with it.
My personal social media accounts assume you simply want to interact with me. And like any good hostess, I like to provide a safe, fun, positive, uplifting experience.
I don't "drive traffic" to my pages as if the people interacting with them were a herd of sheep. People deserve more respect than being a means to my end.
Last week, while catching up with some social media friends (and going directly and intentionally to their pages), I read one post by an author friend who's battled a bad case of COVID for more than a week, was feeling pretty miserable, and -get this - feared no one would even read her outcry because she was too sick to post regularly - which would affect the ranking of that post, allowing few to none to see it.
Reading those few words saddened me on a level I can't fully describe.
Obviously, we can't catch up every day with every person who follows us.
But every now and again, check in with someone that you follow ON PURPOSE, especially if you haven't read any posts in your feed in some time.
Don't be part of the social media noise.
Be a real social media friend - and not a collector of followers.
Be someone who understands that real connection and engagement isn't possible when the conversation is only proceeding from your words and the number of comments the clever tweaking of your words received.
Be a real person in the void.
Monday, July 18, 2022
Now Available: "Call of the Siren"
Never has any book, or any piece of writing, for that matter, given me so much trouble than Call of the Siren, the second book in the BryonySeries Limbo trilogy.
I struggled to write every word in this "quiet" book that spans forty years, and even KDP glitched on its part at the very end, to the extent that the representative helping us on the other end on Friday night told us to delete the file and start over.
We did - and the book was live at 4 a.m. Saturday.
Why did Call of the Siren give me so much trouble?
I think it's because the story has a subtle "music" to it, so much that I struggled to convey by using the accepted "show, don't tell" or the balance of "show and tell" ways of telling the story.
For Call of the Siren, I had to find a new way to create the story the way I wanted the story told. That took time (and a bit of bravery) as I stepped into uncharted waters.
and made some subtle, but significant, changes in terms of plot at this retreat.
But the proof was in the, well, proof. The story read as I wanted it to read, and I was thrilled.
Warning: I probably didn't find and weed out all the typos. But please know I tried really hard to eliminate every single one.
And, thus, we release Call of the Siren for you today, for your enjoyment.
Isn't the cover art by Nancy Calkins (wife of Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara), beautiful? She had the painting ready and delivered to me before I had written one complete chapter. She has waited a long time to read this book. Rebekah did all the formatting for the book and cover.
Here is the back cover synopsis for Call of the Siren:
Sue Bass is haunted by dreams of her father, who died
in a boating accident before she was born, alluring dreams of water and song.
But then a soft-spoken outside man with an inside plan comes to town, and Sue's
sleepwalking fades, only to resurface with greater magnetism when he leaves.
Two voices beckon. Which one will she heed?
Now, Call of the Siren isn't available on the BryonySeries store yet.
Nor is it available on Kindle yet.
But you may purchase the paperback on Amazon.
Happy reading!
Sunday, July 17, 2022
Saturday, July 16, 2022
"Subject: Phone Call Duty List, " by Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara
I think many of us have found ourselves in similar situations, wouldn't you agree?
Enjoy this this humorous that puts the truth in a lighthearted way and written in Ed's "ruthless dictator" persona, which he's having trouble maintaining these days.
Dear MOMI,
His Ruthlessness is having a problem of late
that might seem trivial and easily remedied but in my state of insanity, this
problem is a monster that keeps growing. I’m getting behind on my personal
phone calls. I know what you’re about to tell me. “Pick up the phone and get
started.” I can’t seem to do that, because phone calls to me are weird and
creepy. What am I supposed to say when I call… what’s the polite thing?
“Hello.” Right? But how is ‘hello’ ruthless? It’s not, which is weird
for me and creepy. It’s like I pretending to be nice instead of truthful.
What’s the point of calling anyone if you don’t tell the truth? In person, my
face tells the truth and if I do say hello, it’s in an ironic way. The other
creepy thing about calling is that I never do it unless I really feeling out of
character and that happens only once or twice a month. Now comes the really
creepy part. I’ve skipped feeling out of character for the last six months,
which adds to the feeling of weird and creepy because now I don’t call for at
least six months. But that’s only if my personal issues are keeping track. Who
knows? Maybe now they expect me to never call.
So, if you’re a ruthless dictator, what do you do about a person problem
you can’t (or really don’t want to) solve? No Gladimir Putin, that’s not
correct. You don’t invade another country. Stand in the conner for six years
and don’t forget to wear your dunce cap. You can come out when you’ve made
peace with both Ukrainian and your sexual preference. (A little hint here, it’s
not just your boyfriends that are homosexual. Their boyfriend is too.)
Sorry about that. Sorry too about outing the worse example of ‘gay’ that
I can think of. Most gay dictators are much better human beings, and I don’t
want to misrepresent gays, dictators, or their boyfriends. Dictators ask me for
advice all the time, but do they listen…well they can’t really. I’m really bad
at answering the phone. Anyway…
What I was about to say is a truly ruthless dictator solves his personal
problems by delegating them to underlings. Well, underlings, I have a job for
you. Each of you has a phone call to make on my behalf. I’ll list who to call
and what to say. You just pick one that seems right for you and follow my
instructions on what to say.
1) My kid
sister. She’s not a kid anymore. In fact, now she’s a grandmother but she’s
still younger than me and somewhat of a brat. Anyway, the problem here is
simple and should be resolved but her and me have a way of getting are wires
crossed. She’s taking a vacation to New Buffalo and wants me to meet her there.
In an email, she sent me the days, times, and location. What could be simpler.
My kid sister has sent me emails before with days, times, and locations but always
she gets one of those things wrong or changes her mind and forgets to tell
me…like the time she hosted thanksgiving. I assumed ‘hosting’ meant at her
house, not mine. You guessed it, we missed each other and the whole meal got
cold in her car and the other guest she invited got tired of waiting. Anyway,
please call her, tell her I love her, but make sure of the days, times, and
location of her New Buffalo trip. Also, be sure of the State. We’re assuming
Michigan here.
2) Denise
Baran-Unland has be very busy lately, so I put off calling her and now I’ve
forgotten why I need to call. Ok, that’s not completely true because I do
remember that ‘if’ has become ‘what’. You see, I’m writing a novel again that
she’s been drafted into editing (which is a much bigger job with me than anyone
else.) Anyway, I’ve been sending her chapters until this stay-in-character
thing started. The norm was, when I felt out of character, I’d email what I had
written and give her a few days to read it. The thing is, I’ve waited so long
to send or call that now the whole thing is just weird and creepy. I’m sure,
the last time I talked to her, the new book Tu Ruthless was a sequel to Ruthless. Now it’s a prequel, sequel, dequel. Clearly the whole book is
coming of the rails, and I need her to tell me if that’s a good thing. But
before I can do that, I need to find out what was the last chapter I sent her.
Also, I need to tell her that my wife and I are ready for Willow Fest where we
have a booth to sell my wife’s paintings and my book Ruthless, but we also want
to sell Denise’s books, too. I have to work out with her when to pick them up
and what price to charge. If you call Denise for me, tell her I love her,
express your gratitude (and mine), and promise to get back to her when I know what
she hasn’t gotten yet.
3) I
haven’t called my son is many months…so much so that I’m afraid a call from me
will have him expecting that my wife Nancy must be died or dying. He’s very
busy lately and I hate to call him at work. When he’s at work, he has to work
very quickly, or he’ll never get home and he’s always working over-time. When
they do let him go home, he’s devoured by his two kids, dog, and wife all
hungry for his complete attention. If you call him, tell him I love him, and
Nancy is fine. Also, listen to any problem he might have and let him vent his
frustration for as long as work, kids, dog, and wife let him. The call should
be under thirty seconds long.
4) Chris
and Rita are two sisters that have been in my life since they were in high school,
and I was in college. They were very good friends of mine and still are, except
we haven’t talked to each other in almost thirty years…until a month ago.
Scott, Chris’ husband, wanted to give Chris a special birthday gift and
clandestinely got in touch with us, cleverly using the Xmas cards we’d send
them every year. We met for dinner and talked two hours beyond the restaurant
closing. Clearly, we don’t want to wait for another thirty years to reconnect.
I need one of you to call her, tell her I love her and Scott, and ask for an
email address where I can update them about all the reasons I don’t call.
5) My mother!
I have a strained relationship with her, but I’m expected to call her weekly…it’s
been six months. Someone needs to get on this right away. Be prepared for a
lengthy lecture about how she gave her best years to raise me. When you do get
a chance to talk, tell her I love her and that she’s right; I did ruin her
life, but I’m very sorry. This call needs to happen once a week, but if you
record your side of the conversation the first time, you’ll never need to talk
again.
6) Tom is a
very problematic one. It’s not a phone call really. If you don’t know who I
mean by ‘Tom’ then don’t take this one. The problem here is more the message than
the call. I need to convey a message of sympathy and encouragement in a
limerick form. The problem there is…well, me. I only do ruthless limericks.
Tom
is a man with the answer
Be
ye poet, writer, or dancer
And
I’m just a bloke
Who
prays you don’t croak
While
you’re going through treatment for cancer
I’m hoping one of you could modify that limerick to
something less ruthless. It should tell him I love him and look forward to many
years of his council or failing that will cry big tears at his funeral.
Of course, there are more phone calls I need
to make that aren’t as important. I have to tell my new boss I don’t work
anymore, the government that starting next year they have to give me Medicare,
Jury duty that I’m dead, and the advertising retail industry that I’m broke,
but these things can wait until you guys get this important phone calls made.
Just pick out one of these calls, pick up the phone, dial the number, talk, and
the telephone me as to how it went.
Wait…I sense a problem here.
Forget the whole thing.
Ruthlessly yours,
Ed Calkins