Today I'm featuring a quote from each chapter of the BryonySeries novel Ruthless by Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara.
Ed was actually my supervisor back in the days when my family delivered more than one thousand newspapers in the middle of the night, every night.
He's very creative but also dyslexic and had abandoned writing by the time I met him. For many reasons, I made him a character in the "drop of blood" trilogy and gave him the Saturday spot on my blog whenever he wanted it That's how Saturday became Irish-themed.
But my BryonySeries super fan had asked for the character's back story - and I felt only Ed could truly write that.
So he did, a BryonySeries book of very enjoyable literary nonsense that will surely offend just about everyone, with Ed himself as the unreliable narrator and protagonist.
Below is the synposis and a quote from each chapter, for your reading pleasure today.
SYNOPSIS
Step through the mirror. Step through at your own peril.
It was clear enough that Ed Calkins was murdered while delivering newspapers.
Trudy, a poet, sharp-shooter, dominatrix, alcoholic, and auxiliary police officer is certain she knows who did it. She remembers pointing the pistol and pulling the trigger, but she doesn’t remember why she shot her best friend.
Is something supernatural haunting Munsonville? Or had something possessed her years ago when Eddie secretly won the lottery? In either case, he’d become a vampire, and she must face him again in a duel four days from now.
In the meantime, Ed Calkins is bleeding to death and only has seven seconds to create a son for Melissa and John with the help of two others, who both live in his imaginary version of Tara in ancient Ireland.
He must also ruthlessly battle agendas or myth and his own unruly imagination while time traveling recklessly through distant future and past.
So step carefully through the mirror because you’re only guaranteed to learn three things.
- Ed Calkins is ruthless,
- A pistol is no silver bullet in a limerick fight,
- And if Ed Calkins asks you to marry him, he might not ask again.
For more information, visit bryonyseries.com.
QUOTES
1) First, he’d been stabbed in the belly then shot in the head with a bullet, which was now rattling uncomfortably in his skull, and all of that was before he wound up with the huge pain in his chest. So naturally being dead was a perfectly reasonable expectation.
2) Delusions of grandeur made it simple. No matter what time he was from, being Ed Calkins meant he was great.
3) My ruthless smile widened. I bit into my very rare liver like it was the very neck of Ruthie.
4) "Honest, officer, I have no idea what this smoking gun is doing in my right hand. That’s right, Your Honor, I had no plans to murder my best friend. I just happened to have an unauthorized 44 with me because my patrol is evil with scary specters, and I might have to shoot at something I can’t put in a report. Why did I get so drunk? Well, I knew I had to work that patrol, and I’m too much of a coward to do that sober.”
5) When a poet dreams, is it just a dream?
6) It was that disrespectful bottle of Scotch talking again and not making any sense. Why would it? She’d drunk the better part.
7) The nuns made it clear that ninety percent of hell’s population were men, and most of them earned their places in hell as junior high aged boys, in no small part because of the filthy thoughts within their head.
8) “It’s an embarrassment to the county when a reporter knows more than the department, Trudy. You were on patrol when that body was found a few days ago. It’d be helpful if I’d known ahead of time if you knew the victim…Trudy?"
9) "But what can she offer that would make a man forget a brownie-raised, leprechaun-educated, princess like this one?” He held the photo up to my face to make a point.
10) Was it the pills, or just a certain magic that happens when a journalist informs a poet?
11) A troupe of pixies flew mischievously toward the stone where she was tied and debated if there was humor in releasing her, since she was not bound in iron. Once they guessed her purpose as a sacrifice though, they decided to check the yonder hawthorn trees for gifts instead.
12) "I’m presently in a kinky, non-professional relationship with a man that was not designed to be exclusive, but I’m not looking for anyone else. Does that make sense?”
13) Over dinner, the man proved to be mostly what she expected; stubborn, arrogant, condescending, and clueless.
14) But Marci wasn’t listening. So, I did what I thought any ruthless dictator would do. I hid under my desk.
15) Trudy eventually found the other man. He was digging a hole the width of a grave in the back yard. He’d caught on to the game and wanted to play.
16) "Mr. Bar Keep, a vodka and tonic for the boy, a double Scotch neat for me, and a beer for the brownie named New Medication.”
17) Misplaced trust could have been the buzz phase to describe the 70s, as pedophiles seemed to lurk around every trusted institution where children or underaged teens were served.
18) “Evil spirits," he muttered shaking his head. “Evil never gets along with other evils…kind of like my mothers-in-law.
19) My smile was short lived. Glorna was behind me, and he wanted me to know it. Of course, he was under house arrest right now, which means I told him not to go anywhere, which means he found it imperative to go anywhere but where I told him. That he was standing in front of me only could mean bad news.
20) My nap was a dream of blood and vixens long dead.
21) When I awakened, I was still in the chair, but I wasn’t tied to it. There were pliers on the table, but no bottle, glasses, or guns. The route lists were printed, but the emails were answered with less than polite words. I had all my teeth, but I didn’t feel drunk.
22) “I be sorry fer my appearance,” Arkiens continued. “But it’s Trudy’s dream, not mine, and she dreams a full moon what changes me into a goat, which means I doesn’t read till I be a leprechaun again. I thank ya fer your briefs, I found em very tasty. I don’t haf the belly ta finish all of em, but I’ll be sure ta finish the lot as soon as the moon comes up full again.”
23) Had Trudy been younger and six psychiatric prescriptions earlier, this evening would have had an erotic sexual intrigue that she would keep to herself, yet still enjoy.
24) It’s always the same for me. Give someone exactly what they’ve asked for at a bargain price, and they’ll complain that they are being cheated.
25) "You can’t kill a fool with a pistol, darling; you have to kill him with his own foolishness. If you don’t see that, he’s going to kill you with yours."
26) The night was starless, and the even line of trees cast heavy shadows with the scant lights of street posts. His heavy breath, the steam from it and the sound of it, was his most identifiable feature, like the smokestack of a desperate train. It stopped at the point where it would have overtaken her, but his face showed no satisfaction…instead puzzlement, as if Trudy had become invisible.
27) Too soon, she was among the streets where people slept, and streetlights were vigilant watchers of walking heels. She avoided them. Instinctively, she avoided their scrutiny and favored the shadows.
28) “Think of the trees that would gladly give you their fruit if you want something sweet. Think of the river nymphs that share their water to the thirsty or the stags that give their life, be it less then willingly, if you desire meat. The land is love, your highness. Never be too high to know that.”
29) "Women tend not to forget me. But I do believe I did
ask her to marry me, but she didn’t say yes. I doubt any good came of that.”
Cover art by Nancy Calkins
No comments:
Post a Comment