For the backstory of The Ruthless Times (not to be confused with The Munsonville Times), read last week's post HERE.
Weather:
Ruthlessly hot, cold, mild, raining, snowing, earthquakes, hurricanes, lava flows, or any number of things depending on where you are. (hint; look up at the sky.)
No major Ice Ages since the last publication, and only one major flood.
No major life-as-we-know-it-ends meteor showers in the last 20k years, but hey, we're due so have your Utopian underground city built, stocked, and ready. (You should let Ed Calkins know where it is.)
Top Stories:
Nothing really.
A bunch of wars and stuff.
The Fountain of Tooth was never found (the Spanish mistranslated concept (Fountain of Youth) sounded good. Actually it was merely a stream of with a high concentration of fluoride that native American dentists where rumored to have stolen. (More likely, it was the IVA as tooth decay can be a problem.))
Egypt got rid of its pharaohs, Rome got rid of its empire, Barbarians got rid of the Romans, and China started drinking tea.
New Zealand (pronounce new 'Z' land) and Nazis (pronounced 'not Zs') both had unrelated unimportant wars, but the names were made up to incite mythological relief from the boring truth.
Some people went into outer space, but they came back.
A few went to the moon and found it so disappointing they left without picking up their stuff. Since then, no one has gone back.
Recent stuff:
Again, nothing much.
The ruthlessly independent state of Texas undid its 'second largest' static by leaving the Untied States and joining the larger-then-Alaska Gulf of Mexico.
In Florida, a president had to cancel his tee time, and the weather there came northward thus revising the habit of northern people going south for that weather.
North Korea has become a problem with its new intercontinental launching accuracy. Its rockets still can't hit the right continent, but every time they launch a threat it hits the White House between the ears.
Aliens are in the news largely because they're because unwelcome for some reason. (Hint: just impose a tax on flying saucers).
On this date one thousand years from now:
Lets see, 3017 right? The Twitter-Face Book Global War rages on leaving anarchy and lawlessness across the once civilized world but its not all gloom. There is a lot of doom as well.
With more the 60 per cent of the world's population living in the catatonic state of post-apocalyptic insults, the reminder of people are reduced to using AOL and Prodigy (as predicted by the education "How to Sacrifice a Virgin" piece once posted)
Some cold wars between nations are more traditional. The Rocky Islands and the Alp Islands fight limerick-laced differences on global warming. Both sides disbelieve it, but each claims the other is propagating its heresy in an effort to incite panic. Both sides promise a nuclear solution to the war as soon as a way to haul ballistic missiles from the ocean floor, dry them out on the surface, and build new missiles site to launch them can be completed.
McDonald's presents its civil case against the Bryony crop. for using the signage "Over "# million sold" over its bookstores. (the # here is used to mark an unknown amount. Who wants to spoil the surprise?)
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