Teacup in a Storm: Pocket Squares, by Sir Frederick Chook
Originally penned upon the 19th of October, 2006
First appeared in FrillyShirt (www.frillyshirt.org)
I had thought I looked quite smart when I stepped out today, dressed in my one-button suit, trilby and elaborate five-point pocket-handkerchief. I met a conglomerate of merchant bankers, however, who informed me that my kerchief was far too formal for the outfit I was wearing. Is this true, have I made an ass of myself?
Yours sincerely,
Mr Donald Reluctance-Camel,
Pneumatic Home Organ, Nessex
Sir Frederick replies:
The answer to your query is suprisingly simple, Donald. The fold of one’s pocket square is always guided by the style of one’s shirt. One should aim toward a shape which, if mapped on a two-dimensional plane, would slot exactly into the shirt’s collar: a point collar thus necessitates a long, sharp fold, while a spread or English collar may require a wider, puffier square. For a wing collar, you will need a square which fills all available space outside of the pocket, with just a single, even corner of fabric tucked in. This is a difficult fashion to master, yes, but rules are rules, and we must occasionally sacrifice the economy of a minor continental nation in order to be properly dressed, else the strata of society would be turned upside-down and servants would take up riding their masters like tiny horses.
Originally penned upon the 19th of October, 2006
First appeared in FrillyShirt (www.frillyshirt.org)
Dear Sir Frederick,
I had thought I looked quite smart when I stepped out today, dressed in my one-button suit, trilby and elaborate five-point pocket-handkerchief. I met a conglomerate of merchant bankers, however, who informed me that my kerchief was far too formal for the outfit I was wearing. Is this true, have I made an ass of myself?
Yours sincerely,
Mr Donald Reluctance-Camel,
Pneumatic Home Organ, Nessex
The answer to your query is suprisingly simple, Donald. The fold of one’s pocket square is always guided by the style of one’s shirt. One should aim toward a shape which, if mapped on a two-dimensional plane, would slot exactly into the shirt’s collar: a point collar thus necessitates a long, sharp fold, while a spread or English collar may require a wider, puffier square. For a wing collar, you will need a square which fills all available space outside of the pocket, with just a single, even corner of fabric tucked in. This is a difficult fashion to master, yes, but rules are rules, and we must occasionally sacrifice the economy of a minor continental nation in order to be properly dressed, else the strata of society would be turned upside-down and servants would take up riding their masters like tiny horses.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sir Frederick Chook is a foppish,
transcendentalistic historian who lives variously by his wits, hand to mouth,
la vie bohème, and in Melbourne with his wife, Lady Tanah Merah.
When not reading Milton and eating Stilton, he writes,
ponders, models, delves into dusty archives, and gads about town. He has dabbled
in student radio and in national politics, and is presently studying the ways
of the shirt-sleeved archivist. He is a longhair, aspiring to one day be a
greybeard. He has, once or twice, been described as “as mad as a bicycle.”
FrillyShirt is a compilation of articles, essays, reviews,
photographs, artworks, question-and-answers, promotions, travelogues,
diatribes, spirit journeys, cartoons, ululations and celebrations by Sir
Frederick, his friends and contributing readers. Irregularly regular features
include Teacup in a Storm, an etiquette column, and How to be Lovely, advanced
speculations on the aesthetics of the self.
Other topics that pop up include fun things in and around
Melbourne, art, nature, history, politics and schnauzers. Sir Frederick’s
favorite color is all of them. Enjoy his writing? Drop him a telegram at fredchook@frillyshirt.org.
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