Denise Unland's Alternate Geneology Part 3

By Ed Calkins, the Steward of Tara

Leo the Comic lived somewhere in Greece during the first century and was likely the first Christian in Denise's blood line. However, he wasn't very successful as a Christian after being told many times that the only way he'd get to heaven was martyrdom. It seems that although Leo was kind hearted, he was very weak willed.

By the age of ten, he was begging in front of bakeries for the funds to eat the delicacies inside. People thought this hysterical and dropped coins in his cup to pay for the laugh. Later, comic book shops added to his obsessions, as did his value as comic relief. Worse for Leo, the Greco-Roman community was in denial about Leo's condition, believing, despite the evidence, that Leo was just acting out for a laugh.

By the age of twenty, Leo knew that his life was running afoul. The comic books and donuts were killing him. Worse of all, the city loved him, thinking his compulsive behavior made him the best humorist that Greece had ever known. Back then, there were no 12 step progams to help him, so Leo turned to the newly outlawed religion.

The small Christian community did their best to save poor Leo. In the Eastern early Church, it was well know not to be in line behind Leo at the confessional. Deeply worried for Leo's soul, the local priest decided to use tough love to purge the addictions. He commanded Leo to spend one day kneeing on rice in the underground church for every donut he ate and comic book he purchased.

After six years of kneeing, Leo's behavior started to change. When Leo failed to show up at any bakeries or comic book shops as the secret Christian spies had reported, the priest was ready to claim Leo sin free. Instead, it came out that Leo kicked the donut habit by stuffing himself with the rice, and that he could no longer afford rising cost of comic books. Defeated, the priest suggested Leo try a different religion. That's when Leo decided to take martyrdom seriously.