"It's Complicated" (Character List for Just One Scene)

If my WriteOn comrades will let me take up a chunk of time at our WriteOn Joliet meeting this Thursday, I'd like to read a very long excerpt.

It's not because I like the sound of my voice or think my writing is better than anyone else.

But, rather, the topic of "voice" has come up at the last couple of meetings, and this scene has A LOT of different voices.

In the book where this scene falls, the characters are introduced gradually. But they won't be when/if I read it.

So I created a character sheet last weekend for the meeting. This character sheet has a brief overview of who these people are. The scene itseld shows how I develop their "voices."

For me, as a writer, creating character "voice" is the most challenging of the entire process.

And this particular scene posed a particular challenge when I wrote it back in 2015 because it was the first time I had written an event in a crowd where many of the characters gathered at once. The "voice" for each character had to be highly developed for the scene to have dimension and depth. Otherwise, I risked clogging up the scene with "he saids" and "she saids" just to keep the voices all straight.

So here is the cast of characters. And if this doesn't scare away my fellow writers, and if they let me, I will read the scene in which all these people appear.

You can see why I struggled with it...

FISHER FARM PUMPKIN PARTY

October 1884 Munsonville, Michigan, a fictitious “Utopian” remote village in Northern Michigan where “everyone is welcome.” Residents practice vegetarianism.

Industries: fishing, lumbering, maple-syruping

Leader: Owen Munson. Owns the land, overseas commerce and village development, is “shepherd” to the “sheep.” Caused a division by appointing a good friend as mayor (some people thought Owen should be mayor). Short, stocky, curly black hair, healthy teeth (an important sign of wealth), always wears his cowboy hat, struts through the village singing cowboy songs. Mostly on the go, bunks in a sparsely furnished fishing cabins.

This excerpt: The small, but growing community (about 75 – don’t worry; they don’t all talk in this scene) is gathering on Fisher Farm (just outside Munsonville proper) for a harvest fest. Excerpt is through a 9-year-old girl’s eyes. The people mentioned are the ones most familiar to her.

MARSEILLES FAMILY

Bryony Marseilles: Age 9. Slender with long, thick, wavy tan hair typically pulled back and held with a bow. Being raised by her bitter, widowed father; is anemic, sheltered, a tad mouthy at times, and slightly spoiled by the childless Mr. and Mrs. Parks, her adopted Uncle Orville and Uncle Bertha.

Reverend Galien Marseilles: The church’s pastor is tall and thin with gray, short-cropped hair and pointed beard. He wears only black, partakes in no village festivities, wants to make a “new woman” out of Bryony, and obsessively controls her environment.

PARKS FAMILY

Orville Parks: Short, fat, middle aged. Curly brown hair, furry brown mustache, loves to fish and tell fish stories. Very easy-going unless you piss him off.

Bertha Parks: Much taller than Orville with a gray beehive. Bossy, self-important, gossiper. Housekeeper to the Marseilles family and Bryony’s only mother figure.

BASS FAMILY

Theodore “Teddy” Bass: Master carpenter, average height, round and pock-marked “Man in the Moon” face. Loud-mouthed. Leads all the building and furniture making under the name Bass and Betts. Is married to the best cook and baker in the village. He and his wife often get into fist fights, which Owen has to break up. One of the many who’s resentful that Owen isn’t mayor. Often heckles Mayor Boswell Pike.

Sally Bass: See above. Blonde, large-boned, outspoken, and a flirt. Cares for Pearl Griffith (see way below), who is sick with an unspecified lung disease and bedridden. Might have slept with Pearl’s husband Gus Griffith.

DRAKE FAMILY

Stuart Drake: Middle age, slightly pedantic, shopkeeper. Gray hair, wears gray pin-striped suits. Wife is 20 years younger, got lucky in marrying her. Her dad hated him, but Dad was dying of consumption and that would have left his 15-year-old daughter in the village without male protection. Stuart isn’t creepy. He’s crazy about Belinda in a good way. Pouts if he doesn’t get his way. Closely mentors his oldest son. Often forgets he has a younger son.

Belinda Drake: Skinny, timorous, nearsighted (no glasses), fine auburn hair, poorly educated, pregnant.

Addison Drake: Age 11, mirrors his father. Except for the gray hair.

Norton Drake: Little and lively. About 4.

HASSET FAMILY

The newest family to Munsonville and introduced in this scene.

Richard “Dick” Hasset: Journalist who started The Munsonville Times, the village’s first and only newspaper. He’s calm with merry eyes, handlebar mustache, loud bowties. Quickly becomes good friends with Mayor Boswell Pike.

Lula Hasset: Brown hair, quiet, glasses, serious. Quickly becomes friends with Janet Pike, Mayor Pike’s wife.

Lillian Hasset: Age 12, a miniature of her mother. Minus the glasses.

Leo Hasset: Tall, slim, brown hair, 11. Happy.

Luther Hasset: Less tall, slim, brown hair, 10. Somber.

PIKE FAMILY

Mayor Boswell Pike: Looks like Mephistopheles, lives in a gated colonial at the top of the hill, has expensive horses, an expensive carriage. Has six children – two with his first wife who died giving birth to an unnamed third (also dead) – and three with his new wife Janet, for whom he advertised. Dresses elegantly in expensive clothes. Philosophy teacher at a liberal arts college the next town over. His dissenters complain he spends more time with his books than “mayoring.” Not a hands-on person, although he’s chopped his share of trees (nearly cutting off his hand) and buried his share of the dead (got frostbite in the process).

Janet Pike: Tall, brunette, broad-shouldered, confident, a former teacher from Boston.

Only two of their kids are mentioned in this scene. Blanche, a toddler, who crawls underfoot, and Boswell Junior, subtly vicious and cold-hearted, age 11.

BETTS FAMILY

Sebastian Betts: Known as the village sot behind his back. He’s nevertheless a master carpenter and half of the Bass and Betts team. Short, chunky, with a square head, tight auburn curls, florid complexion. Wears glasses. College-educated. Inflated sense of self worth.

Phoebe Betts: Skinny with fine yellow hair and freckles. Illiterate. Foul-mouthed and loudly insulting of the girl her son Paulie likes (farther in the book, at their wedding, she yells “Slut!” during the service). Drinks just as much. If not more.

The Betts have five boys, ages 12 through 21, and one daughter. The kids all look like Phoebe. All the kids are illiterate.

Denny: Fell off the roof while building their saltbox, is paralyzed and confined to bed

Paulie: Quiet, a carpenter with Bass and Betts, in love with Ida Griffith

Robbie: Mama's boy, easily influenced by others

Milty: Eager to please, personal assistant to Mayor Pike, being educated, not in this scene

Freddie: Fat, stupid, dull, disinterested.

Susan: Skinny, wispy blonde hair that’s usually dirty. Freckles. Dull cornflower eyes. Bryony’s best friend, thanks to Mrs. Parks who insisted to Reverend that Bryony have a playmate. Age 9.

FISHER FAMILY

“Old Man” Clyde Fisher: Oldest man resident. Typically wears overall and boots unless he goes to town. Limp white hair that touches his shoulders. Calm, mellow, soft-spoken, tanned, slender, muscular, good friends with Owen Munson (they have a past).

James Fisher: Clyde Fisher’s great nephew. Came to Munsonville in his late teens with his pregnant girlfriend (now wife). Short, round, brown hair, baby face. Hardly speaks. Shuns alcohol. About 27.

Maybelle Fisher: Pregnant with sixth child. Heavy (gets heavier with each child), a run-on sentence type of chatterbox, thick dark hair past her shoulders, easy-going. Shuns alcohol. About 25.

Their five girls range in age from 4 to 9, not in sight, hanging out with unnamed others at this event. They all have dark curly hair and give their parents no trouble.

GRIFFITH FAMILY

Gus Griffith: Lumberjack, came to Munsonville because his wife Pearl has a lung issue (better air) and is confined to bed. Sally Bass cares for wife, home, and hearth while he’s busy in the woods. And maybe Gus, when he’s home from the woods.

Pearl Griffith: Never seen, only her struggle to breathe is heard.

Harv Griffith: Late teens. Lumberjack like his father. Interested in politics and current events.

Ida Griffith: About sixteen. Gawky, homely, and under the wing of Janet Pike. Ida gets Janet’s hand-me-downs and helps out with the Pike children, especially little Blanche. Paulie Betts is in love with her. She’s oblivious.