Dialogue Tags, More Than "Said" and Beats

First, a few reminders:

When attrbuting dialogue, use "said." It fades in the background. Except in RARE cases, mixing it up with "responded," "asked," "anwered," "shouted," "exclaimed," "commented," "remarked," "replied," etc. is clumsy, draws more attention to the dialogue tag, and pulls the reader out of the story.


1) Use "said" to clarify who is speaking, but use sparingly. "Beats" (action instead of tag) enlivens the story and cuts down on tag use.

Example:

"God's entrusted you with a precious package," Algernon said, and Adele knew he hadn't meant the food. "Be equal to the responsibility."

Galien nodded soberly. "I'll do my best."

2) But tags can also indicate action while speaking. A beat, on the other hand, indicates action between the dialogue.

Example:

"It's far from ideal, especially in her condition," Algernon said as he and Galien spread out blankets in thick layers. "But it wouldn't do to have you at the parsonage, you understand."

"It's far from ideal, especially in her condition," Algernon and Galien spread out blankets in thick layers. "But it wouldn't do to have you at the parsonage, you understand."

In the first sentence, Algernon is arranging the blankets WHILE he is speaking. In the second. Algernon speaks, arranges the blankets, and then speaks again. Using the tag (or beat) clarifies what is happening in the scene.

3) Tags and beats can also draw out a dramatic moment. Beats are the preferred choice, IF the pause is an action. But if no action is occurring, a tag can do the same thing.

Example:

"You needn't fear me," the doctor said. "I'm here to preserve your secret." He sucked long and hard and then blew out a thoughtful cloud. "For a price."

"I could expose you or stake you," the man calmly continued. "I haven't quite decided which."

(All examples from Before the Blood, various chapters).

Happy writing!