"Mutiny on the Brawny" by Jennifer Russ

Mutiny on the Brawny by Jennifer Russ

One of the WriteOn Joliet's T'was the Night Before Christmas spoof

It was the day of the New Year and all through the gym... Sat numbers of dieters working on every limb...
They pushed and they pulled...
Lifted and strained.
To make Jello into six packs: No Pain no Gain! 

 Meanwhile, in the locker room, the rats — they do scheme....
While sucking on Muscle Milk and stretching in teams...
Protected with Under Armour...
And $300 kicks...
They plot their revenge on the pluses and sticks...

Ellipticals are mounted —it’s time to take a stand....
To the guy in Joe Boxers- “Unhand that resistance band!”
Disinfectant blinds.
IPOD headphones form knots...
Until every last resolution is brought to a stop... 

 Hog-tied and gagged- they are stacked to the side...
While the rats take the bikes on a gleeful joyride...
It’s back to the dumbbells...
And flexing in mirrors...
While the others look on through sweat beads and tears... 

 In the end it is said that the rats saved the day...
And stood their ground in the face of foray...
Though, the weights they were stacked....
In their favor it would appear...
With their Eggnog flavored protein and eight shiny varieties of workout gear...