Twenty Questions with Ed Calkins: Part One

Ed Calkins is a real, fifty-something, proud of his Irish heritage computer programmer and amateur writer who has also worked his entire life in newspaper circulation.

Years ago, Calkins invented a "ruthless dictator" alter ego, known as "The Steward of Tara." With Calkins' permission, I furthered altered his persona into a minor character for "Bryony," making Calkins the first, significant Irish vampire.

Of course, Calkins claims "Bryony" is really all about him, so he is planning his own book signings, which he is calling, "The Ed Calkins Tour." After all, Calkins claims, it's the minor characters in books that become cult favorites. There must be some truth in his sentiment, because Calkins' plot importance and visibility does grow with each novel.

Calkins will eventually guest post on Saturdays. Recently, the steward set aside his caretaking duties so readers can get to know him. Today, and for the next three Saturdays, I will post five questions and answers from that interview.

1) What inspired your conception of a ruthless dictator?

"My son was doing a lot of role-playing games, and he was trying to creat a bard and give him magical powers. I told him there was no need coming up with magical items, because bards are already too powerful, providing they are not trying to seek notoriety for themselves. Ruthless dictators are not afraid to die. They're just afraid how they will be remembered. It's not effective to compose a song or a limerick or an epic poem glorifying yourself. You've got to have other people doing it for you. I always thought we should cut the military in half, invent some really good limericks, and insult people into submission."

2) Why did you invent this fictional part of your personality?

"I was bullied as a boy, so it came from the way I would get back at bullies. I would think something negative about them, because verbalizing it wouldn't go well. In my mind, I called it even. The ruthless dictator really started after I got a ticket running a stop sign when I was delivering newspapers on a really snowy day. If I would have stopped, I never would have gotten going again, so I really thought the ticket was unfair. As revenge, I picked ten people from the phone book and thought bad things about them. My wife thought that was pretty corny. Later, in my mind, I took over the entire town. I didn't have to conquer a nation. It just had to be a place, at least metaphorically, as long as it had its own identity."

3) What was your reaction when you received the invitation to become part of a vampire novel?

"I was nervous about revealing my ignorance about vampires. I didn't know a lot about them. I worked quickly to remedy it."

4) Why did you accept?

"Immortality, of course. I can't think about myself. I have to think about a thousand years from now, and if there's going to be a three-day holiday in my name or not. There's a side of me that thinks this is goofy enough to actually happen."

5) Weren't you afraid of how you might be portrayed in Bryony?

"No, and a lot of that comes from my survival mechanism as a kid. I learned to play along with the bullies rather than fight them. Part of my comedic outreach is self-depracating anyway, so it didn't seem that anything negative could really hurt me. The ruthless dictator would say, 'Look, there's no such thing as bad publicity.' King Midas is much better off than King Midas the Second, even though King Midas was portrayed in a bad light. Nobody remembers King Midas the Second."