Dear MOMI,
I got the royalty check and everyone I know is tired of hearing about it :)
I started the epic I promised in my last post.
INTRODUCTION: ED AND CONNLA THE FAIR DANGLE FROM A TREE ON A CLIFF OVERLOOKING THE NILE
Often an epic poem chooses,
A short prayer to invoke help from the muses,
"Muses, if you don’t fully help me
"Your names go down in infamy
"With a barrage of my lyrical bruises!"
Ruthlessly, I shall start from the middle
With Ed and Glorna and their hope growing little
Locked hands Ed dangles high in a tree
Upside down Glorna hooks a branch with his knee
And to how they got there a complete riddle
But the danger just doesn’t end there
The tree dangles the perilous pair
By a cliff over a large lizard feeder
His jaws open wide, over a meter
Waiting for a meal to drop right there.
GLORNA CONTEMPLATES THE MEANING OF LIFE AND OTHER PHILOSOPHICAL CLICHES
Said Glorna, “Must be something I missed.”
“By what method do I even exist?
“I see you holding on one hand
“My leprechaun brand”
“Yet I saw you with an arrow get kissed.”
Said the Steward, “Alive I love to remain
"But your slipping grip is causing me pain
"Please pull up me and your file
"'Fore that large crocodile
"Nullifies any need to explain."
Glorna answered “I won’t wait later
"To your own ends I just will not cater
"Tell what you mean by my file
"And that large crocodile
"Can’t you see that it an alligator?”
“John-Peter you’re losing your mind
"And I losing my grip and my rhyme
"That river’s the Nile
"So it’s a crocodile,
"Can we talk of this another time?”
“So true is it, that the river’s the Nile,
"But study that large hungry smile
"It lacks the right expression
"To commit the transgression
"Of having tears of a crocodile.”
Ed replied, “Well, my rising fright
"Must have damaged or impaired my sight
"But way down there on the ground
"I hear a gator type sound
"Pull me up and I tell you you’re right.”
Glorna said, “Curiosity make me weak
"I’d pull you up much surer if you do speak
"What was meant by ‘my file?'
"Just a rhyme for ‘crocodile’
"Or some meaning for which I should seek?”
“Woe to me, for you all over look,
"My crafted genius my work is wrongly took
"The computer program I compile
"In the leprechaun a back-up file
"The one that made John-Peter cook."
“As John-Peter, I ingested much strive
"Being a teenager can cut like a knife
"So before your safety I secure
"I need to know why to endure
"Now then, tell me the meaning of life."
“I think that I heard a branch cracking
"The time for all this thinking we’re lacking
"Glorna, don’t get your nose out of joint,
"Still you raise up an interesting point
"I may need the next limerick to start hacking”
"But one way to answer I just might have found
"To a point of view my response is quite bound
"If this tree here should fall
"And no one hears it at all
"We’d be dead. Does it still make a sound?"
Mumbled Glorna, “You think it's all about you.
"If you don’t think it, it must not be true.
"If he can’t hear it, it can’t exist.
"That’s the clue I must have missed
"Of the arrow that failed to give you your due.”
Replied Ed, “Behind my own mirror
"My creations behave so much clearer,
"And you would do what I say,
"Instead you’re acting this way
"I know I’m not behind my own mirror."
Thinking hard, Glorna finally did say
“It makes sense if it happened this way
"In your minor you were shot,
"But now there we are not
"But your ignorance keeps nirvana at bay."
“Glorna, could you please be a lamb
"Pull me up so I’m out of this jam
"If you question my existence
"And you own too, by insistence
"Think ‘I’m ruthless and therefore I am.'"
THE FALL
“Ed, I heard all your rhyme and meter,
"And your control over character and reader
"But I could stop you if I wanna
"And I’d rather nirvana
"Ask the gator if he’ll be John-Peter."
To end Uncle Ed he released
To the gator a fat funny feast
Ed screamed words as he fell
As if he was falling down to hell
And none poetic in the least
Glorna expected himself to just cease
‘Cause Ed’s mind to being was his lease
Why did he exist when his creator
Was consumed by a gator.
Maybe his creator was really Denise.
As he thought this a philosophical carrot
Saw a hypothetic tree fall had merit
Took him on the way down to the ground
Glorna exclaimed, “It does make a sound.
"Even if no one is surviving to bear it.!"
To be continued...
Ruthlessly your and Happy Easter,
Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara
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