Vampire bats sharing food through regurgitation

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Jon Burge and a True Stoic

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Jon Burge and a True Stoic

I took a break from rolling newspapers this morning when an acquaintance in the single copy area stopped to show me his quote in a Chicago newspaper story regarding the Jon Burge conviction.

On Friday, former Chicago officer Burge was sentenced to four and a half years in a federal prison. For years, Burge had been torturing black men to obtain confessions to an assortment of crimes, including robbery and murder. This acquaintance had been suffocted and electrocuted by Burge and subsequently spent decades in prison. He had testified at Burge's trial.

However, he wasn't sharing the gruesome details this morning. Rather, he talked about his lack of bitterness about his experiences, despite the fact his wife had died while he was serving time, and his children had grown up without their father. He quoted from the poem, "Footprints," thankful that God had carried him through his troubles and brought him home.

I was quietly impressed by what he wanted to tell me. You know, it doesn't take much stamina to inflict; just ask any bully. But to withstand and exit whole and unscathed...that's real strength.

Wolverine: The Musical!

What Faults Do Your Characters Have?

Nothing makes a character seem less real than one without any faults or failings, and that includes your heroes.

No person is perfect, and creating perfection in your character, unless for some reason "perfection" is inherent to the story line, will give that character a plastic appearance. The faults can range from the minor flaws we all have (yes, we do) to severe personality or moral defects, depending on the role and relationship of your character to your novel's plot.

Consider the following from Bryony:

*  Melissa Marchellis: occasionally lies when it suits her purposes, sells out her safety to live a fantasy, and is obsessive about the object of her fascination, which leads to impulsive and poor choices.

*  Brian Marchellis: can be enthusiastic to the point of annoying and energetic without focus. Luckily for Brian, a good mentor harnessed those traits.

*  Darlene Marchellis: distracted and trusting enough to be irresponsible where her children are concerned.

*  Steve Barnes: other than occasional crankiness (who could blame him?), Steve is really all right. :)

*  Ann Dalton: unrealistic idealism

*  Katie Miller: immaturity, hero worship

*  Julie Drake: bluntly outspoken

*  Shelly Gallager: passive personality

*  Laura Jones: boy-crazy

*  Kimberly Whitney: narcissistic

*  Frank Marchellis: extremely bashful and introspective

*  John Simons: self-centered and manipulative

*  Henry Matthews: biting sarcasm, mocking, hedonistic

*  Kellen Weschler: insatiable need for power and control

Ten Chapters, Done!

This weekend, I completed the first ten chapters of Before the Blood.

It's an exhilarating feeling and, I must confess, a bit of a downer, too. It's the last time I will compose the story from inside John's head, a saying good-bye to a story that's brewed inside me since January 1985.

And yet, the accomplishment!

So many false starts since I finished Staked! over Memorial Day weekend 2010; finally, the book is really on its way. Plus, the only day I really can immerse myself in it is Saturday. Sundays are full with church, work (put in five hours yesterday), and family interaction. So with those perspectives, not too much of a downer, just a bit of a wistful good-bue.

I've already begun serious work on the next ten chapters, Kellen's portion, and am looking forward to making some progress this weekend. I am on call and have some other obligations, but I have my very first vacation day ever on November 3, and I intend to make good use of it. This is not forgetting that Halloween is on a Friday night, and I have the apartment to myself.

:)

Before the Blood, as you might recall, is a series of four novels - ten chapters each from the viewpoints of John Simons, Kellen Weschler, Bryony Marseilles, and Henry Matthews - that move in singular-novel fashion, with all four characters intersecting for the remaining twenty chapters. It is, by far, the most complicated writing I've ever done and, except for the standalone werewolf novel that's next on the list when I finish Before the Blood, the only serious piece of fiction I've got rolling around my brain, although who knows what project will grab hold of my muse when I've finished with those.

And for Staked!? I messaged Sarah Stegall with a WTH? on Sunday morning, and she texted back with "A lot of OT," and promised to get back with me, so hopefully, soon...

Phantom of the Opera- Christine- Think of Me

Irish Soda Bread from the BryonySeries cookbook

An extra post today, in honor of Ed Calkins, since the earlier one counted for yesterday. If only I could persuade Timothy to make some, but, no, he's been napping most of the day, while I slave away finishing up John's story in Before the Blood.

 

 

Melisa found it odd that Irish soda bread was a Simons Mansion staple, but since John offered no explanation, she felt uncomfortable asking for one. We don’t have the authentic recipe, but this one is just as good.


Irish Soda Bread
By Janet Cooney

 

½ cup margarine

½ cup sugar

3 cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon cream of tartar

1 1/3 cup buttermilk (or sour milk by putting 1 tablespoon vinegar in a measuring cup and adding milk to exact measure)

1/3 cup yellow raisins

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream together margarine and sugar; add remaining ingredients. Grease 1 x 4 x 3-inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour or until toothpick comes out clean.

From "Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles From 'Bryony'"

 

All proceeds benefit Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties. www.bbbswillgrundy.org

 

Order the cookbook at www.bryonyseries.com/Dalton_s_Dry_Goods.html

 

Once Again, Catching Up With Stories in The Herald-News

Ohhhh, I've got to get better at posting these.

On the other hand, even I'm amazed at the wide variety of stories I'm able to find. I so love my job!



Doctors at Joliet health center distribute free books to patients

This just isn't another feel-good campaign. The simple act of reading, which is not so simple to some of these low-income patients, also helps these doctors to assess developmental milestones.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/08/doctors-at-joliet-health-center-distrbute-free-books-to-patients/as8vv6w/


An Extraordinary Life: Joliet man battled multiple sclerosis for 30 years, put family first

Furthermore, he was an immeasurable source of musical wealth, which greatly enhanced the services of a Crest Hill music store.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/03/joliet-man-battled-multiple-sclerosis-for-30-years-put-family-first/acieozs/


Plainfield respiratory therapist provides support to ALS patients.

And she explains the real benefits of the ice bucket challenge.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/plainfield-respiratory-therapist-provides-support-to-als-patients/a1c1wrk/


Romeoville native head chef at new downtown Joliet restaurant.

All menu items were developed from his private recipes, and he shares one variation in the story that is not on the menu.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/29/romeoville-native-head-chef-at-new-downtown-joliet-restaurant/a4cldku/


Joliet faith-based hotline helps callers in crisis

Originally developed as an emotional outlet for ordained Catholic priests, this hotline now receives calls from around the world, most of them not clergy.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/joliet-faith-based-hotline-helps-callers-in-crisis/a5rqv10/


Joliet Junior College to host second film festival
By Jeanne Millsap

Yes, the festival is past, but the benefits of attending one continue, all of which are explained here.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/15/joliet-junior-college-to-host-second-film-festival-this-weekend/ac1cfte/


Joliet grassroots fundraiser raises money for local organizations
By Mauverneen Blevins

Imagine nearly 1300 hundred women in witch costume milling the floors of a Victorian mansion. No? Actually, yes. It has to be seen to be believed.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/29/joliet-grassroots-fundraiser-raises-money-for-local-organizations/aljsruh/


An Extraordinary Life: Joliet golfer put God and neighbor first

She had a quality many people skip. Do you know what that is?

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/14/an-extraordinary-life-accomplished-joliet-golfer-put-god-and-neighbor-first/andvw5p/


Doctors get firsthand education of nurses jobs at Joliet hospital
By Jeanne Millsap

And it wasn't quite what the doctors expected.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/doctors-get-firsthand-education-of-nurses-jobs-at-joliet-hospital/aa8nhr3/


New Joliet restaurant features gourmet handmade burgers and chips

Several reporters for The Herald-News decided to check it out yesterday, waited forty minutes in line, and left for somewhere else. This place is seriously that busy.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/21/new-joliet-restaurant-features-gourmet-handmade-burgers-and-chips/a4y414j/


Serbian Orthodox priest to retire after serving Joliet church for 40 years

This man has an amazing history and backstory. I was in awe listening to it.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/21/serbian-orthodox-priest-to-retire-after-serving-joliet-church-for-40-years/auod3n0/


Senior league at Joliet Town and Country Bowling has active members in their 80s and 90s.

And I do mean "active," folks. Like women in their 90s with macular degeneration who are bowling strikes. Like 80 and 90-year-old moaning about their 140 averages. I'm lucky to hit 140 on a good day.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/20/senior-league-at-joliet-town-and-country-bowling-has-active-members-in-80s-and-90s/aeemvyy/

 

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Where Were You When You Wrote...?

Monday, January 31, 2011

Where Were You When you Wrote...?

Last week, on the twenty-fifth annivesary of The Challenger, I read and responded to several Facebook posts of, "What were doing when the space shuttle exploded?"

Certain memories for us are so vivid we can recall their ancillary details. With The Challenger, I remember hustling three kids under four through the grocery store (Eagle, in Crest Hill), so I could watch the take-off. I remember gaping in horror at what I was really watching and holding Joshua, who was four months old at the time and still dressed in a tan snowsuit my mother had bought him.

I have writing memories like that, too.

When you've pecked at your first novel as long I have, you'd think the particulars would be long buried under more important life moments, but some of them, for whatever reason, are as clear as they day I experienced them. For instance:

* One evening, near dusk, my oldest kids and their friends were modifying the backyard playhouse, so I threw some toys on the floor for my crawler (Timothy, now 20), shut the bedroom door, and wrote a scene where Melissa is alone at home (everyone else had gone to the movies) and searching near Simons Mansion for Snowbell (that scene never made it to the first draft).

* I was taking my daily power walk in Marcrest subdivision in Joliet (where we used to live) when I created a piece of dialogue for Henry that would be my unspoken tag line for many years. I also mentally wrote one of the scenes still featured in Bryony, although I later changed the location in the house. BTW, for anyone familiar with Marycrest, I was walking on St. Joseph, past Marmion and Madonna and around the bend to St. Francis. The sun was shining, too, and it was about 11:00 in the morning.

* The afternoon John Simons' hair lightened and came down, I was driving north on Infantry Lane in Joliet, past a paper carrier acquaintance's house, on my way to pick up a kid nicknamed "Doc." I was listening to Adia by Sarah McLachlan when the image popped into my head. I couldn't wait for a red light to mentally describe my vision of John playing a grand piano inside Simons Mansion, except it wasn't in the music room, but near the grand staircase. At the time, I was a new single parent and my teens had talked me into managing a crew of kids selling newspaper subscriptions. By then, I was writing for the paper and delivering it, too. Hardly the most opportune time in my life to work on a novel, but I always kept paper and pen in my van and jotted notes for Bryony whever I had a chance.

* I was pacing the floor with colicky newborn (Timothy, again) when I created the very ill Frank Marchellis. Three years later, I was pacing the floor with a colickly newborn (Rebekah) when I created two characters for Staked!, the third novel in the BryonySeries, although at the time, it was only one, yet unamed, book.

* The inspiration for a confrontation between Melissa and Henry--actually the character of Henry himself--a favorite with those who have read a Bryony draft (including two of my editors) came from a dream I had regarding an argument with a Henry-like character.

Does anyone else have memories like that?

Dial "B" For Brush with Bela Lugosi - The Red Skelton Show: The Early Ye...

Research

Arguably, for me, one of the most delightful part of writing fiction.

Anyone that has read Bryony can see the vast amounts of research that went into the book...and the citations at the end are only the sources that made the cut! The rest went into folders for Before the Blood, folders that grow larger each weekend.

Visage, completely set in the 1970s, didn't contain quite so much research, although it still had a fair amount, and Staked! veered into another knowledge-seeking direction, unfamiliar to me (at the time) and yet quite delightful, thank you, Ed Calkins.

In the past two weekends, I've learned that Ellis Island was not the first immigration site and that P. T. Barnum actually once managed Jenny Lind (very cool, considering I already have a reference to Barnum in a previous chapter).

I've studied up on Castle Garden, the Steinway family (and found the diary of William Steinway online, very helpful), the history of the Metropolitan Opera House, Spode China, and built on my knowledge of both Delmonico's and McSorley's, both still in existence (getting hungry and want to go there...)

Despite my lack of geographical orientation, from the many maps and city layouts I've found online, I'm fairly certain that, if Kellen Weschler dropped me in the middle of nineteenth century New York, especially around Fifth Avenue or 7th and 11th Streets in lower Manhattan, I could find my way around.

Well, as long as I don't use the Simons mansion as my landmark for the first or Hewes Music Hall for the second.

Because these only exist in my imagination and on my computer screen.

 

Since Thursday

It's been awhile since I've missed some blogging days, but life's been a bit hectic, productive, but hectic. A quick recap:

• My editorial assistant took another position, so I've assumed about half of her duties, WHEW! While I'm enjoying the work, as I'm interacting with more with the general public than I have since becoming an editor in January, it's been a process weaving in the extra work with the existing work...while still having time for life, etc.

• I did manage to watch a whopping five Family Guy episodes with Daniel on Friday night, (and the finale of season three's Once Upon a Time with Rebekah on Sunday night) a record, I think. I also got my weight lifting done while still Friday (barely), and I'm very happy to say I've been faithful with yoga on the alternate nights. Gotta keep the aging carcass going...

• I have unofficially decided to maybe officially join National Novel Writing Month this year. Since the goal is 50,000 words, and each of the "books" in Before the Blood is about that long, I thought this might be a good way to get Kellen's portion done, now that I'm down to the last half of the last chapter in John's story.

• To that end, I re-read everything in John's story and filled in any missing details, since I do have a couple of beta readers (Sarah Stegall is one, who else?) waiting with rapt anticipation for this book since they read Bryony in 2010. The goal is to get them John's story before October bids farewell. (Maybe I should withhold Sarah's copy until Staked! is released? Just a thought...)

• I ran some errands yesterday: bank, gym shoes, and one kick-ass umbrella. Oh yeah, some Gloria Jean coffee, mais oui. Still needed: warm and water-proof boots.

• Got some work done this weekend, too. Monday, I'm ready! (well, sort of...)

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Food Safety, Victorian-Style

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Food Safety, Victorian-Style

In Part Four of The Supersizers Go Victorian, it is mentioned that half of all the period's street was contaminated.

Certainly, careful food storage was more challenging in the Victorian era than it is today. Perhaps, Melissa's aversion to many of the foodstuffs she encountered in 1890s Bryony kept her safe, a moot point when one is cavorting with vampires.

According to the 1850 version of Miss Beecher's domestic receiptbook: designed as a supplment to her Treatise on domestic economy, the following recommendations are given:

* After smoked beef or ham is cut, hang it in a coarse linen bag in the cellar and tie up to keep out flies.

* To restore rancid butter: Put fifteen drops of chloride of lime to a pint of water and and work the butter in it until every particle has come in contact with the water.

* Flour stored in barrels needs no other care other than putting it in a cool, dry place, where it is well-protected from rats and cockroaches.

* All salted provision must be watched and kept under the brine. When the brine looks bloody or smells badly, it must be scalded, and more salt put to it, and poured over the meat.

* Codfish is improved by changing it, once in awhile, back and forth from garret to cellar. Some dislike to have it in the house anywhere. Salt fish barrels must not be kept by other food, as they impart a fishy smell and taste to it.

* Cabbages and turnips in the cellar often impart a bad smell to the house. All decayed vegetable matter should be kept out of the cellar, as it creates a miasma, that sometimes causes the most fatal diseases.

Excuse me while I check the thermostat on my refrigerator.

Victoria Frances

She illustrates the way I try to write.

Evocative, thoughtful, mesmerizing pieces...

http://www.victoriafrances.es/en/

Just an Excerpt, Just Because

No spoilers, if you have read Bryony, just a glimpse into current work-in-progress, a snippet from Before the Blood.

That was Jackson, loyal to the end. Dana Hewes would be proud. Without another word, John trudged down the dark and silent back of the house to the dressing room, retrieved his coat and hat, and walked outside through the rear door. Much of the fog had dissipated and appeared to be moving away, as the air was clear to John's left and steamy to his right. As he started for the staircase, a fleeting movement caught his eye, a dark wisp here and then gone. A drunk pillaging the trash barrels for a midnight sack? A thief waiting to accost him? Motionless, John waited. He heard nothing except his own breaths and the drumming of his heart. He set foot on the first stair, and a silhouette slipped through the haze.

"Who is it?" John called out.

A pair of red eyes stared back. A form took shape in the gloom. Out stepped a man, his sleek hair and goatee blacker than his top hat and cloak

"I am the devil," the man replied with a faint German accent.

He was simply an eccentric, and John had met plenty of that type during these last years. With a tip of his hat, John sarcastically said, "A pleasant evening to you, sir," and turned toward the fire escaped, but the man was now walking down the stairs in John's direction and examining him with a studious air. John stopped short, wondering how the man had moved so quickly, until the stranger stood before him, leaned closed, and sniffed his neck.

"Do you not fear me?" the man murmured, his gaze flitting over John's face.

"No."

"My very sight doesn't chill your blood?"

John attempted to move past, but the man grasped the rail, barring John's way. "Mr. Simons, do you know who I am?"

"No and don't really care."

"I..." The man raised a finger and passed it back and forth across John's face, "I am a well-connected concert promoter, well-acquainted with your exquisite musical reputation."

This time, John took a step back, the better to examine this man: deathly pallor, swarthy hollow eyes, crimson lips, and sharp white teeth.

  

"Is that a fact?"

"Ohhh, yes, indeed, Mr. Simons. Would you dine with me this enchanted evening?"

Ravenous and still unafraid, John nevertheless paused. Was this man as strange and sinister as he appeared, or had days of insufficient food clouded his perception? Apparently, the man mistook John's silence for assent, for he swept out his arm in the direction of the alley and said, "Step this way, Mr. Simons."

Ten "Before the Blood" Quotes

Circulating around Facebook in various incarnations is a list of rather clever two-line horror stories. One WriteOn Joliet member posted such a list on our page, prompting another member to suggest we compose our own, in honor of October and Halloween, etc.

So this weekend, nibbling on pen cap and musing possibilitiess, I realized two things. One, the lazy selfish author in me would want to incorporate any two-line soundbites I'd write for mere exercise into a novel (Why waste them, right?). Two, the thought-provoking effects of the two-line challenge resembled the book quotes I'd pull and post on Facebook before the release of a book. We call them "30-Day Countdown Quotes."

Unfortunately, we I posed those of Staked! a year ago, thinking release was imminent.

My point is that the purpose of the exercise and my countdown quotes are the same: to tease the reader and whet the appetite for more. So instead of writing a random series of two-line stories and pullilng my attention from my latest work-in-progress, I've chose instead to read some (or all) of those countdown quotes.

And since I'm approaching the end of John's portion of Before the Blood - some 50,000 words later and rather bittersweet - I pulled a few lines from each of the chapters. Feast on these, vampire fans!


They entered the birthing chamber, and he recoiled against the stifling stench of sweat, human waste, and blood. Why was it always blood? Prologue

1) With her spirits sucked as dry as an old orange, Lucetta edged between old Miss Polly and the end of larger sofa and pretended to enjoy a conversation about corns and smelling salts. Chapter 1: One Magical Christmas

2) On Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation when Abbot was in town, father and son attended High Mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral, its Federal-style architecture and plaster ceiling and walls resembling home: hard, beautiful, and cold. Chapter 2: Tasting Immortality

3) Despite its abundance of guests, Spencer Inn felt as still as a forgotten cemetery; the kitchen lacked bustling and laughter. Reality hit John like a brick in the face. Chapter 3: Keys to Heaven

4) . John never realized someone so pure of heart had ever walked the earth. Certainly such a woman never passed through the doors of his father's home. Chapter 4: Maid to Order

5) As he tried to save her immortal soul with pleas for repentance, she wove a hypnotic tale of the sinister plot against her, spurred by jealousy of her healing powers. Thus, she reeled him in, thread by thread by thread. Chapter 5: Post-Graduate Studies

6) As John had requested, Della had provided a copy of the invitation and the guest list. Many were his father's colleagues. Good. Chapter 6: Shedding the Cocoon

7)   The first lesson was inside  another tenement apartment, not far from Hewes Music Hall. The children, a girl and two boys, along with their parents, were busy rolling cigarettes. This was no small operation; as a group, they turned out thousands each week. Chapter 7: Music Halls and Garbage Cans

8)   "Look, Agnes and I get on jolly well," Henry said, "and if that isn't sufficient grounds for marriage, then what is?" Chapter 8: One for the Memory Books

9) . John stopped short, wondering how the man had moved so quickly, until the stranger stood before him, leaned close, and sniffed his neck. Chapter 9: The Contract

10) John unbolted and unlocked the door, then paused, as his stomach took a sickening plunge. He hadn't yet figured out Kellen, but John knew one thing. This wasn't the way Kellen had left. Chapter 10: Crossing the Rubicon

Guest Post by Thomas Meisinger: What Matters in Life

What Matters in Life

By Thomas Meisinger

Originally published Saturday, October 10, 2014

Me: Do you ever feel like you're THIS close to having everything you've ever wanted?

Friend: No, I don't think it's possible.

I had this conversation with a mentor a week ago. Then I listened to this Christian author/speaker during one of my midnight siestas at my parent's house. Until 2 AM I stared at my childhood bedroom closet full of toys, clothes, and board games and thought about what really matters. As I spend this vacation reconnecting with my dad’s family and celebrating my Grandma Meisinger's 90th birthday, I've learned what matters most is....to not disclose now if I want you to keep reading.

When I was twenty-three I was offered a job with better pay, better hours, and more responsibility. It was definitive advancement for my career. It was also in Fayetteville, Arkansas, home to U of A (Go Razorbacks!) and nothing else. In addition, the workplace gave off a Boy’s Club frat vibe. Why would I want to live in a place I would eventually hate once the extra money disappeared? Why would I spend fifty hours a week in a room of people I didn't trust? So I didn't.

So if money didn’t matter, what did? I didn’t have much of a social life in Joplin. I spent most of my evenings watching cable TV, writing, and drinking alone at bars. I had a few friends, but knew they contributed more to the relationship than I ever could. It destroyed my confidence and made me depressed. It wasn’t good for my health, faith, or mind. After much hesitation I turned to God and knew it was only going to get worse if I kept to myself. I vowed to move to St. Louis within six months.  Thirty-three days later I had multiple job offers and was looking at apartments.

I moved to St. Louis to have a social life and be closer to family. I was done feeling sorry for myself all the time. But before that could happen I needed to reconnect with my family and that didn’t happen right away. Instead, I attended almost daily happy hours and didn’t notice a change. I had an older co-worker tell me I couldn’t live on deadlines and expect things to happen. But that was also the same guy who once drunkenly told me advice was overrated.

I began taking better care of myself and lost thirty pounds in a year. Now I’m working out more than ever. Drinking helps me forget I’m “losing the game” when I don’t want to play at all. I don’t even want to be around people who want to play the game and I learned that from my last relationship. It didn’t bother me when it was over because the following day I woke up and knew I was THIS close.

I was THIS close to waking up before dawn to focus on my health at the gym. I was THIS close to daily counseling with a Christian friend sharing his view from one step ahead. I was THIS close to having a job where I start every day off by making sure everyone hears “Good morning!” I was THIS close to talking to family every day. I was THIS close to becoming an active member in my church. I was THIS close to learning there are no blueprints for a relationship. I was THIS close to actually listening to my coworker when they said, “You’re a smart, funny, good-looking guy! You have no reason to be shy!” I was THIS close to having all the confidence back and then some.

It's the confidence in knowing what matters most is those sitting around you. Asking my friend if he had ever had that feeling didn’t refer to owning a fancy house, having a powerful job, or traveling across the world. I was asking him if he knew what he wanted. I was asking him if it was time to put it back in the box.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Thomas Meisinger was born, raised and educated in Chicago's southwest suburbs. He began performing stand-up comedy in 2009 while in college. You may have seen him at The Comedy Shrine, Edge Comedy Club, and other establishments he doesn't like enough to give free publicity. If he spent as much time filling out job applications as he did writing jokes during his last semester, he would probably have a better paying job. Currently residing utterly alone in Missouri, he has since shifted his focus to writing.

He spent a year working on his first novel, The World Is Shallow; That's Why I Never Learned How to Swim, which is currently available on all major eBook retail sites. The humorous fictional autobiography has received rave reviews from family, friends, and stray cats wandering his apartment. Meisinger’s favorite hobby is people-watching at coffee shops but let's face it, he really just has a staring problem.

He currently writes five blogs: Penguins are Pretentious (www.penguinsarepretentious.blogspot.com) is a collection of Meisinger’s ideas, opinions and experiences. Bacon, Eggs, and Whiskey (www.baconeggsandwhiskey.blogspot.com) is life from a bachelor’s point of view. Spiritual Vitamin (www.spiritualvitamin.blogspot.com) contains Christian-themed reflections. Dear Grandma Margie (www.deargrandmamargie.blogspot.com) is a series of fictional letters Meisinger wrote to his real grandmother. The St Louis Laugh Report at stlouislaughreport.blogspot.com is open only to invited readers, as is Bacon, Eggs and Whiskey and Dear Grandma Margie.

If you must, "Like" Meisinger's Facebook Fan Page, follow him on Twitter at #TomMeisinger., or check out his website at www.funnythomas.com.

BryonySeries Throwback Steward Saturday: Ed Calkins Explains the IVA

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Ed Calkins, the Steward of Tara, Explains the IVA

There are two ways to join. The first way is the simplest.

1) You can think you're Ed Calkins, and thus the spokeman for the Irish Vamprise Association.

2) You don't have to think you're a vampire, but you do have to think you're Irish and have a fondness and dedication to the Irish Vampire cause. You must think that you should be a member, mention this to no one, pay what dues you think you should, and hold what office you think you should hold. What ever dues you pay are the budget for your office, so spend it wisely. Also you must dislike any people you think an Irish Vampire would dislike, and think badly of them as a result.

Image the power of such a secretive structure! Few are foolish enough to cross the IVA. For example, there was a flint dealer named Ug some 10,000 year ago that insulted the IVA. In retailation, its members decided his daughter was unattractive. Poor Ug! Not only did his daughter Lee remain unmarried (and thus childless; it was a simpler time), but too this day when any sight is deemed visually unappealling, the memory of Ug's Lee is mentioned.

P.S. If you are an IVA member and your department is under budget, you could send the excess to Ed Calkins.

By Ed Calkins, the Steward of Tara

Story Round-Up, And...

FICTION (for tonight, that is)

For now, here's some my activity during this past week


An Extraordinary Life: Bill Flavin loved the game of life

He loved sports, too, and so used those principles in every aspect of his life.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/03/an-extraordinary-life-the-game-of-life/a50wq50/


Joliet rescue opens facility, seeks homes for personable dogs

Less than a year old, Hopeful Tails has already rescued four hundred dogs and is now renting a multi-room shelter

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/29/joliet-rescue-opens-facility-seeks-homes-for-personable-dogs/ai2bj1j/


Channahon mom embraced fitness, discovered lump
By Jeanne Millsap

Fighting breast cancer didn't stop Kim Joss' drive to be healthy.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/29/channahon-mom-embraced-fitness-discovered-lump/alrc45s/


Joliet club preserves heritage, celebrates diverse cultures

And boy, can they cook!

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/joliet-club-preserves-croatian-heritage-celebrates-diverse-cultures/a6py7gz/


Minooka church caters to the needs of Sunday employees and single parents
The world is no longer nine to five...and this church is adjusting to that fact.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/minooka-church-caters-to-the-needs-of-sunday-employees-and-single-parents/a21da4y/


Former New Lenox man collaborates on book of rare celebrity photographs

With Angela Cartwright, whom he met at a Lost in Space convention.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/former-new-lenox-man-collaborates-on-book-of-rare-celebrity-photographs/aecgux/

BryonySeries ThrowbackThursday: Mary Todd Lincoln Cake

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Mary Todd Lincoln Cake

This is the cake First Lady Mary Todd (rumor has it) prepared for Abraham Lincoln while they were courting and when they lived in the White House.


Mary Todd Lincoln Cake:

1 cup almonds
1 cup butter
1-1/2 cups sugar
2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1-1/3 cups milk
6 egg whites
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Confectioners' sugar

Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 375F. Grease and flour two 9 inch round layer cake pans or one Bundt cake pan. Use a food processor to grind the almonds into a course flour. Cream the butter and sugar to mix them until fluffy. Sift the flour and baking powder to mix them together, then fold the dry flour mix into the creamed butter and sugar, alternating with milk, until well blended. Stir in the almond powder and mix thoroughly.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until they form stiff peaks. Add a pinch of salt for easier stiffening. Add vanilla extract. Gently fold the egg whites into the batter with a rubber spatula. Pour the batter into the pan(s) and bake for 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool for at least 15 minutes before flipping the cake out out of the pan, and allow it to completely cool before serving. If a layer cake was made, use a jam for filling. Sift confectioners? sugar on top for decoration.

Serves about 12 slices.

.djjfnffd -- James Onohan--- Open@my eyes

Writers: Save Those Drafts

On Saturday, while searching for a prototype photo I had found online and saved for Kellen Weschler back in 2008 (never did find it), I stumbled across something in my files that I had considered long gone: the original version of Bryony.

No, I'm not referring to those random, typewritten scenes from decades ago, long since rotted in some landfill, scenes I tried pecking out while older children remodeled the fort in the backyard and babies crept around the bedroom, writing was so awful I couldn't bear to read them at the time.

I'm referring to Bryony the pseudo-novella, before it was named (It was actually never named until I'd completed it) and saved only as vampire story, my paltry attempt at pullling the story out of my head and onto paper (well, the computer) as a present for Timothy's seventeenth birthday, that Labor Day weekend in 2007 when I realized Bryony was not a weekend project and not a novella, that to do a proper job, I had to write a book.

All this time, I has believed that I had rewritten that novel's first draft over the original file, that, rough as that draft was, it was the oldest remaining draft. To my delight, I learned on Saturday that it is not.

Delight?

When I first began writing Bryony, I had read a quote by (I think it was by Stephen King), something to the effect of hoping that no first drafts would lying around when he died. I recall vigorously agreeing with that saying after first time I'd read a scene aloud (Henry trapping Melissa in the closet at the Harrington's ball) and nearly gagging at the horrible writing, thankful I had whispered those lines so Rebekah in the next room would not hear how bad it was.

I don't agree with that quote anymore, and here is why. I learned two things from that draft. I saw how far my writing had progressed in seven years, and I also realized how well I could write, even then.

For amongst the badly constructed scenes, characters, dialogue, plot, wordings, I found some very well-done lines that actually appear in the published version. Sprinkled throughout the muck were seedlings of the progress I would make if I actually kept learning, and writing, and rewriting, and editing.

I could not have made this improvement had I not kept writing.

This tells me two more things. One, I'm glad I kept writing, and two, I'm hopeful that if I keep writing, I'll continue to grow as a writer.

And THAT, is very good news.

Okay, now for the real reason you read this far. Excerpts! Average chapter size: 500 words.

The man produced a set of keys, examined one of them and swiftly unlocked the door. The rush of bright light startled his friend. He looked about in amazement and wonder. “Why did you never tell me?” he asked, astonished.

He did not receive an answer to that question. A sudden, sharp pain in his back took his breath away and caused him to fall to the ground. He was dead before he could ask his best friend why he had stabbed him.

“There isn’t much to tell,” Melissa said. She and Brittany had looked him up on the Internet. His name was John Simons and he had lived at the turn of the last century. John Simons was a composer and pianist who had played all over the world. The rest of the story was a mixture of fact and fancy.

   Apparently, while vacationing at Munson, John had met the beautiful young Bryony Marseilles, just 16, daughter of the local minister and asked her father’s permission to marry her. The minister refused. He thought John too worldly and Bryony too young.

   But Bryony had other ideas. She had fallen in love with the handsome musician and begged and pleaded for her father to marry them. She said if he didn’t, they would have to leave Munson forever and he would never see her again. Against his better wishes, the Reverend Marseilles married John and Bryony. 

CHAPTER 4

The cottage was too square, too old and most of all too ugly. Melissa thought she would rather die than ever live in such a stupid looking place.

 But Brian was excited with the idea of living next to a mansion that might have some mystery to it.

 “Remember, Liss,” Brian must have told her at least a dozen times already, “No one REALLY knows what happened to John Simons. He just went away and never came back. What if his ghost haunts the place by night? How awesome would that be?”

 “Don’t be ridiculous,” Melissa snapped at him. Scooter tugged at his leash and Melissa tugged back. Brian grabbed the leash from Melissa and walked the brown-spotted white terrier around the yard, letting him sniff at the delightful scents of his new home.

 Darlene bought the dog as their “new home” surprise present for Melissa and Brian. They had never before owned a dog. Frank had not thought it fair to a dog to keep it in the city although Melissa and Brian had often begged for one anyway. Frank thought a dog should have lots of room to run free. But now that she had a dog, Melissa didn’t care if she had one or not. Melissa would have traded a hundred dogs to have her father back.

CHAPTER 5:

 “I’m sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for it,” Steve said as he bit into his hamburger. While Melissa and Brian were exploring Simons Woods, Steve Burns the maintenance man had dropped by the house to measure their bedrooms for the new built-in shelves he was going to build tomorrow. He was a lanky man, about 30, with a friendly face and a length of blond hair that kept falling over his brow.

Darlene brought out hamburgers and hot dogs and invited Steve to stay for dinner. He said he would, on the condition that Darlene allowed him the pleasure of grilling the meats. As they ate, Brian told them about the mysterious mist in the woods, the mist that Brian had not seen at all. Steve assured them that it was probably nothing more than cold air mixing with warm air, much the same way clouds are formed. Brian was not convinced.

CHAPTER 6:

“For your homework this weekend, do page 22 in your algebra textbook and begin working on your research project for the celebration,” said Mrs. Rebstock. “Class dismissed.” The small class filed out into the hallway. Although school had been in session for a week now, Melissa still could not get used to its small size.

Munson High School was located in the same building as Munson Junior High and Munson Elementary Schools. There were only about 15 freshman and less than 50 high school students altogether. Melissa was astonished her first day at the new school. “Why, the whole school is smaller than my eighth grade class was last year in Chicago,” she thought.

The ancient red brick building was three stories high and had survived two severe fires over the years. It stood near the town square as if to say, “It takes a lot to destroy us Munsoners.”

There was absolutely nothing modern about it—there wasn’t a computer lab or even a gymnasium for crying out loud—but Melissa could grudgingly admit it had a kind of charm. 

Hush and Rest - Creepy Lullaby

All Right, I've got to Get Better At This

So when I'm not writing vampire fiction, this is what I do. No, I'm not expecting readers to click on all of these stories, but scroll through them anyway. You just might find something that resonates with you.

Channahon woman finds entrepreneurial success

While laid off from her job this mom of five children started her own business.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/09/laid-off-channahon-woman-finds-entrepreneurial-success/aullkv0/

An Extraordinary Life: Joliet man relished human interaction

Steve Peterson valued each human being he met and remembered personal details about their lives.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/10/an-extraordinary-life-joliet-man-relished-human-interaction/a5h0lve/

Joliet Job Corps students spend Saturdays at Joliet Township Animal Control

A photo gallery of how these young people spent their weekends and racked up a total of 1000 volunteer hours.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/08/joliet-job-corps-students-spend-saturdays-at-joliet-township-animal-control/aikkh1w/

Plainfield teen fights Chiari malformation

By Jeanne Millsap

Who would have suspected her array of symptoms was caused by her brain descending from her skull?

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/09/plainfield-teen-fights-chiari-malformation/anaduno/

Former Frankfort resident converts favorite recipes

When Rachel Buchanan-Savicz decided to shed excess pounds, she realized the trick to keeping that weight off would be finding a way to eat her favorite foods.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/04/former-frankfort-resident-converts-favorite-recipes/aa2tnin/

Joliet church has century of traditions, looks to the future

Members tend to stay for decades; the service is traditional; and the stained glass windows are breathtakingly beautiful. But this church is building new ministries, to adapt to a changing demographic.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/08/22/joliet-church-has-a-century-of-traditions-looks-to-the-future/ahgvtew/

Joliet art professor archives portraits of USF students, faculty and staff

Check out the gallery. Maybe someone you know is there.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/09/joliet-art-professor-archives-portraits-of-hundreds-of-usf-students-faculty-staff/allev7/

Former Lockport resident changing young lives with foundation

This millionaire is giving back full four-year college scholarships to disadvantaged youth, all because someone believed in him first.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/09/former-lockport-resident-changing-young-lives-with-foundation/a6pvjti/

An Extraordinary Life: Joliet contractor lives old-fashioned values, had a sense of humor

And the grass was ALWAYS greener on his side...

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/16/an-extraordinary-life-joliet-contractor-lived-old-fashioned-values-had-a-sense-of-humor/av4lbfl/

Fundraising chairwoman for Shorewood shelter shares tips for successful fundraising

Purrfect for rescues and other non-profits. I even learned some good hints.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/19/fundraising-chairwoman-for-shorewood-shelter-shares-tips-for-successful-events/adpvnsm/

New Lenox hospital offers stem cell procedure for osteoarthritis of the knee

By Jeanne Millsap

When other options fail, this doctor has good news.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/new-lenox-hospital-offers-stem-cell-procedure-for-osteoarthritis-of-the-knee/asgpzu5/

Six Lockport sweet shops host fundraiser for Shorewood foundation

Skip the bar runs. This event was fun for the entire family.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/six-lockport-sweet-shops-host-fundraiser-for-shorewood-foundation/adit1nk/

Latin Mass devotees find home at Rockdale church

Sunday Mass, as well as daily Mass, is offer in Latin. Get a glimpse at how that works with the video our web editor Chris LaFortune shot.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/09/latin-mass-devotees-find-home-at-rockdale-church/ambgrj9/

Joliet museum recreates historical Joliet nightclub for annual gala

The event was this past weekend (Timothy did some of the food prep), but check out some of the jazz greats Earl D'Amico once brought to town.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/joliet-museum-recreates-historical-joliet-nightclub-for-annual-gala/amxprnt/

Annual Joliet rally focuses on hope, diminishing fear

The two speakers underscored the message with their presence. One was the mother of the victim; the other was the sister to the man sentenced to the murder.

http://seoplus.theherald-news.com/2014/09/11/annual-joliet-rally-focuses-on-hope-diminishing-fear/abmdc16/

An Extraordinary Life: Former Joliet woman was beyond generous

Those who knew Jennie best were not suprised by her generous posthumous gifts. Looking out for the welfare of others was typical Jennie.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/an-extraordinary-life-former-joliet-woman-was-beyond-generous/akp2h8a/

Morris man reunited cat with Joliet owner

Yes, we found Hope, or, rather, Hope found this man...who found us...

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/09/morris-man-reunites-cat-with-joliet-owner/abnxr4w/

CBS news correspondent to speak on Alzheimers in Romeoville

By Jeanne Millsap

"It stalks two." Powerful words, indeed. Read on!

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/cbs-news-correspondent-to-speak-on-alzheimers-in-romeoville/a78j1sl/

Crest Hill Mediterranean and Indian restaurant caters to families

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/crest-hill-mediterranean-and-indian-restaurant-caters-to-families/a31a7o1/

Yes, families, especially children, as well as people unfamiliar with the cuisine. How does Madi accomplish it by staying true to its heritage? One bite, and you'll see.

Joliet area organizations to host pet blessings

My print headline read: Making joyful barks and meows. But then, the scriptures say, "Let everything that hath breath, praise the Lord."

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/10/01/joliet-area-organizations-to-host-pet-blessings/a6ot0g8/

Former Crest Hill man performs in Broadway musicals

He made musical history in two of them. Can you guess which ones and why?

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/former-crest-hill-man-performs-in-broadway-musicals/aeydvrg/

Joliet high school student spent summer in France, earned college credit

By Mauverneen Blevins

I took four years of French at Providence High School in New Lenox (back in the dark ages) and never had an experience like Melissa had. Jealous!

http://www.theherald-news.com/2014/09/17/joliet-high-school-student-spent-summer-in-france-earned-college-credit/aiyoqa3/