When we were getting ready to release Bryony back in 2011, my daughter Sarah (who did a lot of the marketing for me) suggested I pull thirty teaser quotes from the book that she could post on Facebook, one each day.
It’s Christmas Eve and a very sick Cornell Dyer is
stuck in the hospital, frustrated because he can’t find the vending machine and
because he’s too sick to solve his latest supernatural mystery. Another patient
tries to help Cornell, not with food and medicine, but with a journey into
realms Cornell doesn’t want to go.
Prologue:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Chapter 1: Snacking to Death
“I said look at me. What do you see?”
“I see an
old, white-haired man in a bathrobe sitting at a desk who won’t let me ask him
for a quarter for the vending machine.”
“No, no! You’re focusing on the outside. What do you see?”
Chapter 2: Walkers and Wheelchairs
“This is not a regular hospital, Charlie.”
“Sure it is.” Charlie gestured around him. “It has doctors, nurses, patients, loved ones. Some people get well and go home. And some people get well in other ways and go to their eternal home.”
“What about the golden cords? I’ve never seen cords like this in a hospital.”
“The golden cords have nothing to do with the hospital, Professor. Here, look.”
Chapter 3: On a Thin Line
The cats continued playing and prancing as if they were frolicking in a spring meadow instead of a subterranean laboratory.
Chapter 4: Opposites Attract
“We heard you saved him,” one nurse said. “How’d you know he wasn’t faking?
“We didn’t. That’s why we ordered pizza first. He wasn’t going to fool us again.”
Chapter 5: Darkness is Dangerous
And he heard a
friendly voice, the friendliest voice he had ever heard, a voice he had never
expected to hear ever again.
It’s the fever, Cornell told
himself. The last time he heard that voice, Cornell had a fever.
Chapter 6: A Trip to the Beach
"I didn’t think I’d see you for a long, long time yet,” Jack continued. “Are you sure you’re supposed to be here?”
Cornell sighed happily. “Who cares? It’s perfect here. Wait. What’s that noise?”
Chapter 7: Sudden Shocks
The sun had nearly set, and twilight had nearly arrived by the time Charlie exited the long highway and pulled into a gas station.
Finally! Snacks!
Chapter 8: Grandpa Mo
“I know you’ve helped a lot of people, Cornell,” Grandpa Mo said. “But you’ve missed out on the most important part of life.
“It’s true,” a thick syrupy voice piped up.
Oh, no, Cornell thought. It couldn’t be.
He whirled around.
Chapter 9: Larry the Llama
"I am the Llama of Cornell Present, and I am here to help you
with your attachment issues.”
“I don’t
have attachment issues!”
“Oh, no? Then why didn’t you go to prom?”
“You were there! I was making a potion!”
“You were too afraid to spend an entire evening with the very pretty Amy Whitefield!”
“Who?”
“See? Attachment issues.”
Chapter 10: Picture Perfect
After taking two
slices, he positioned himself in the middle of the room, to best answer their
questions and quote his prices.
Epilogue:
No potato chips. No orange drink.
Not even a candy cane or a chocolate Santa.
What kind of food was this?
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