Saturday, March 31, 2018

Ed Calkins: "Staked!"-Based Epic Poem (Part One)

Dear MOMI,
    
I got the royalty check and everyone I know is tired of hearing about it :)

I started the epic I promised in my last post.



INTRODUCTION: ED AND CONNLA THE FAIR DANGLE FROM A TREE ON A CLIFF OVERLOOKING THE NILE

Often an epic poem chooses,
A short prayer to invoke help from the muses,
"Muses, if you don’t fully help me
"Your names go down in infamy
"With a barrage of my lyrical bruises!"
Ruthlessly, I shall start from the middle
With Ed and Glorna and their hope growing little
Locked hands Ed dangles high in a tree
Upside down Glorna hooks a branch with his knee
And to how they got there a complete riddle
But the danger just doesn’t end there
The tree dangles the perilous pair
By a cliff over a large lizard feeder
His jaws open wide, over a meter
Waiting for a meal to drop right there.



GLORNA CONTEMPLATES THE MEANING OF LIFE AND OTHER PHILOSOPHICAL CLICHES 

Said Glorna, “Must be something I missed.”
“By what method do I even exist?
“I see you holding on one hand
“My leprechaun brand”
“Yet I saw you with an arrow get kissed.”
Said the Steward, “Alive I love to remain
"But your slipping grip is causing me pain
"Please pull up me and your file
"'Fore that large crocodile
"Nullifies any need to explain."
Glorna answered “I won’t wait later
"To your own ends I just will not cater
"Tell what you mean by my file
"And that large crocodile
"Can’t you see that it an alligator?”
“John-Peter you’re losing your mind
"And I losing my grip and my rhyme
"That river’s the Nile
"So it’s a crocodile,
"Can we talk of this another time?”
“So true is it, that the river’s the Nile,
"But study that large hungry smile
"It lacks the right expression
"To commit the transgression
"Of having tears of a crocodile.”
Ed replied, “Well, my rising fright
"Must have damaged or impaired my sight
"But way down there on the ground
"I hear a gator type sound
"Pull me up and I tell you you’re right.”
Glorna said, “Curiosity make me weak
"I’d pull you up much surer if you do speak
"What was meant by ‘my file?'
"Just a rhyme for ‘crocodile’
"Or some meaning for which I should seek?”
“Woe to me, for you all over look,
"My crafted genius my work is wrongly took
"The computer program I compile
"In the leprechaun a back-up file
"The one that made John-Peter cook."
“As John-Peter, I ingested much strive
"Being a teenager can cut like a knife
"So before your safety I secure
"I need to know why to endure
"Now then, tell me the meaning of life."
“I think that I heard a branch cracking
"The time for all this thinking we’re lacking
"Glorna, don’t get your nose out of joint,
"Still you raise up an interesting point
"I may need the next limerick to start hacking”
"But one way to answer I just might have found
"To a point of view my response is quite bound
"If this tree here should fall
"And no one hears it at all
"We’d be dead. Does it still make a sound?"
Mumbled Glorna, “You think it's all about you.
"If you don’t think it, it must not be true.
"If he can’t hear it, it can’t exist.
"That’s the clue I must have missed
"Of the arrow that failed to give you your due.”
Replied Ed, “Behind my own mirror         
"My creations behave so much clearer,
"And you would do what I say,
"Instead you’re acting this way
"I know I’m not behind my own mirror."
Thinking hard, Glorna finally did say
“It makes sense if it happened this way
"In your minor you were shot,
"But now there we are not
"But your ignorance keeps nirvana at bay."
“Glorna, could you please be a lamb
"Pull me up so I’m out of this jam
"If you question my existence
"And you own too, by insistence
"Think ‘I’m ruthless and therefore I am.'"


THE FALL

“Ed, I heard all your rhyme and meter,
"And your control over character and reader
"But I could stop you if I wanna
"And I’d rather nirvana
"Ask the gator if he’ll be John-Peter."
To end Uncle Ed he released
To the gator a fat funny feast
Ed screamed words as he fell
As if he was falling down to hell
And none poetic in the least
Glorna expected himself to just cease
‘Cause Ed’s mind to being was his lease
Why did he exist when his creator
Was consumed by a gator.
Maybe his creator was really Denise.
As he thought this a philosophical carrot
Saw a hypothetic tree fall had merit
Took him on the way down to the ground
Glorna exclaimed, “It does make a sound.
"Even if no one is surviving to bear it.!"

To be continued...


Ruthlessly your and Happy Easter,
   Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara



Friday, March 30, 2018

Community News: March 29 and March 30, 2018

Check out upcoming events in the Joliet area, as well as the awesome things people are doing.


Local faith events: March 29 through April 5

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/28/local-faith-events-march-29-through-april-5/aav3lz7/


Local arts and entertainment March 30 through April 6 

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/26/local-arts-and-entertainment-march-30-through-april-6/a76tkzb/


Morris Lions Club to host Easter Egg Hunt Saturday

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/28/morris-lions-club-to-host-easter-egg-hunt-saturday/ag7130j/


Annual 'Women of the Year' nominations sought

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/21/annual-women-of-the-year-nominations-sought/aufd8gk/


MorningStar Mission Ministries Inc. receives grant from township

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/22/morningstar-mission-ministries-inc-receives-grant-from-township/at05sac/


ComEd rewards JJC with $464,000 check for energy efficiency

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/22/comed-rewards-jjc-with-464-000-check-for-energy-efficiency/a4mg85r/


Lockport students ace National German Exam 

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/22/lockport-students-ace-national-german-exam/ay9r6p1/


Christopher Sindt is named new provost at Lewis University 

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/22/christopher-sindt-is-named-new-provost-at-lewis-university/a7drl34/


Lakewood Falls Elementary School names principal in Plainfield 

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/22/lakewood-falls-elementary-school-names-principal/a5ci4nb/


Survey gives insight into adult Easter spending

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/30/survey-gives-insight-into-adult-easter-spending/aqtis8o/


Volunteers help fill eggs for Timbers of Shorewood's March 31 event





And the newsletters:


Sign up for the Will County Go Guide



Sign up for the LocalLit Short Story Newsletter



Sign up for The Munsonville Times








Illustration by Kathleen Rose Van Pelt for "Bryony."


Story Round-Up: Features in The Herald-News, March 25 through March 30

Working on an extra-special story for Sunday (be sure to check it out!) so I'm lagging in other parts of my life.

Last night WriteOn Joliet hosted its first marketing roundtable for authors. In my opinion, it was a huge success. Here's why:

1) At least four writers groups were represented.

2) Everyone came to share and listen.

3) Nothing felt "spammy." People were genuine, and everyone left looking forward to building on those first connections.

4) We left with good ideas to try.

To those celebrating religious holidays this week, blessings!

To those celebrating religious holidays next week (such as moi), blessings!

Onward...

Non-bylined features:

Monday through Saturday I assembled my non-bylined works - brief posts and calendar listings - into one convenient file and posting them on Facebook in the evening, so readers can easily choose the ones they want to read.

 One can also find those event listings, the Gotta Do It calendar, as well as the pets, health, faith, and arts and entertainment calendars, under the sections tab on the left hand side of http://www.theherald-news.com/. Click on "features" and the topics drop down.  Gotta Do It runs under "people."

Community news? Again, under the sections tab, under features, and by topic. Updates are posted on these days in print and web (and some only on web on other days as I have the time): Monday (pets), Tuesday (health), Thursday (faith), Friday (arts and entertainment), and Sunday (people).

Social media:

Daily updates: I do post the briefs and calendars on Twitter during the week, so you're welcome to follow me at @Denise_Unland61.

BryonySeries stuff: I post curated content relating to the BryonySeries at @BryonySeries. And assorted related content at www.facebook.com/BryonySeries. And of course, please follow the adventures of Bertrand the Mouse on Instagram at bertrand_bryonyseries.

If you're a writer anywhere in the world, you're welcome to jon WriteOn Joliet's Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/groups/writeonminooka/?ref=bookmarks. We're based in Joliet, Illinois, but we love to meet and interact with writers outside our area, too.

Books and Such

Information on my books (including where to buy) along with upcoming events is at www.bryonyseries.com.

Thank you for reading The Herald-News. And for reading this blog. And if you've read (or plan to read) any of my books. Your support is greatly appreciated.


More than a game
For 15 years, Plainfield venue hosts a special March Madness reunion 

Find out why right here.

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/20/more-than-a-game/avx2kae/


An Extraordinary Life: Joliet man connected through stories

“Besides the fact he cared about his family so much, he was just the nice guy who would do anything for you,” Dave Rodriguez said about his brother Stephen Rodriguez. “You didn’t even have to be in his family. He gave of himself constantly, with advice, and sometimes he would lend money.”
Joliet Junior College's Thrive prove students can cook with the best 

Service was a little slow (to be fair, the venue was packed, and the students are learning) and our dessert accidentally arrived before our entree, so it was taken back to the kitchen to await its proper return.


But the food – oh my, the food! Here's our impressions. (and the photos are phenomenal).

http://www.theherald-news.com/lists/2018/03/27/c2726b332e5b494e8706d5b316ff3267/index.xml


Morris church to perform Living Last Supper drama
By Jeanne Millsap

The image of what might have been the emotions on each of their 12 faces was portrayed in Leonardo da Vinci’s fresco, “The Last Supper,” and members of The First Presbyterian Church in Morris brought that piece of art to life the Thursday before Easter.

http://www.theherald-news.com/lists/2018/03/28/3abbd5f7b76c45b5a5db4519511fb3dc/index.xml


The story of Good Friday through song
Coal City United Methodist Church music director: ‘It’s not a normal concert’ 

 "It's not a normal concert," Shanan D’Agostino said, director of music ministries for the church, said. "We want the congregation to focus on what Jesus did for us, how he gave His life for us for all our sins. It's the ultimate sacrifice."

http://www.theherald-news.com/lists/2018/03/28/8c0cd51eaf4d4873abc43404718575d3/index.xml



Illustration by Matt Coundiff for "Visage." Follow him at www.facebook.com/artbymattcoundiff or @MattCoundiff on Twitter.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

BryonySeries Throwback Thursday: Where Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Where Truth is Stranger Than Fiction: The Continuing Tale of Lucas Stegall vs. John-Peter Simotes

Tomorrow, the long version.
 
Today, consider this page from Visage, Chapter 23: No Holds Barred:

John glanced at John-Peter, and Melissa fell silent. The boy busied himself with the string beans. One at a time, he pinched them between his forefinger and his thumb, leaned back his head, and dropped them down his throat.

His actions unnerved Melissa. “Stop that right now!”

John-Peter ignored her and opened his mouth wider for another green bean.

“John, make him stop. He’ll choke.”

“John-Peter, mind your manners at the dinner table.”

“They’re snakes,” the boy said as he picked up another one and gave it the same treatment. He smacked his lips and turned cunning eyes at Melissa. “You want me to eat meat. Well, snakes are meat. Right, Father?” 

And, Lucas (who has never read Visage, although he has read parts of Bryony and tries to sell the book to everyone he meets):

 
BTW, note the color of his shirt. Just sayin.'

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Community News: March 28, 2018

Check out upcoming events in the Joliet area, as well as the awesome things people are doing


Need help? Want to help?
Here’s a roundup of area food pantries and upcoming events

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/23/need-help-want-to-help/acrlb1/


Lincoln-Way East AFJROTC CyberPatriot team takes first place in Illinois 

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/23/lwehs-afjrotc-cyberpatriot-team-takes-first-place-in-illinois/apmhn3j/


Troy S.T.A.R. and ACE students fundraiser for Shorewood HUGS 

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/23/troy-s-t-a-r-and-ace-students-fundraise-for-shorewood-hugs/a9bxjpz/


Plainfield North students earn honors on National German Exam 

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/22/plainfield-north-students-earn-honors-on-national-german-exam/aoard4d/


National Weather Service declares Lewis University StormReady

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/02/26/national-weather-service-declares-lewis-university-stormready/ahlt6rh/


And the newsletters:

Sign up for the Will County Go Guide



Sign up for the LocalLit Short Story Newsletter



Sign up for The Munsonville Times


Illustration by Matt Coundiff for "Visage." Follow him at www.facebook.com/artbymattcoundiff or @MattCoundiff on Twitter.

Open Mic Night 2017: Stephen Saporta (Round 2)

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

Community News: March 23, 26, and March 27, 2018

Check out upcoming events in the Joliet area, as well as the awesome things people are doing

Gotta Do It: March 25 through April 1

http://www.theherald-news.com/2018/03/22/gotta-do-it-march-25-through-april-1/akc20e2/


Local arts and entertainment March 23 through March 30


Joliet-area hunts offer eggstra special fun



Forest Preserve District of Will County recognizes partners


Nearly 50 students compete in annual welding contest in New Lenox 

http://www.theherald-news.com/lists/2018/03/15/c1b426a857654a6e8c72d0234b2b1bd1/index.xml


Free shred event in Joliet on March 24
Reptiles visit Montessori of Plainfield 



Pets of the Week: March 26

Read the caption of each photo to find out about that pet, including where he or she can be adopted.



Timbers of Shorewood resident turns 102 



Illinois American Water distributes grant to Northwest Homer Fire Protection District



Boys & Girls Club of Joliet hosts annual gala, dinner


Illustration by Matt Coundiff for "Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles from "Bryony." Follow him at www.facebook.com/artbymattcoundiff or @MattCoundiff on Twitter.

How Do You Know if It's Good?

That was one of many questions a high school job shadower asked me last Friday.

First of all, a little about this student.

Over the past few years, I've had a number of students (and one adult) hang out with me for a few hours while I work, but I've never had one that put the level of thought into the time as she did.

The students typically arrive with several standardized questions they must ask. This girl, however, also compiled her own list, a list so extensive it took two hours to answer them all.

As she asked, I explained and showed portions of my job. Interestingly, every student through the years except one, is also interested in writing and publishing poetry or fiction, so we talk about that, too. And this student was no exception.

She did, however, ask one question that made me pause.

How do you know if it's good?

Good question, a really good question.

What criteria do writers use to determine if a piece of writing is good?

High sales? Perhaps. Although it's true cream often rises to the top, it's also true that bad writing often sells well while good writing languishes.

Awards? I think the previous point also applies.

Lots of readers? A band of loyal readers prepared to fiercely defend the prose?

And yet, how often do we stumble upon a really stellar obscure work and wonder, "Where have you been all my life?"

The writer says so? I mean, we are the gods of our creation (And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. Genesis 1:31). But are we the best judge of its value?

Publishing contracts? Lots of clicks and shares? Concise sentences that are free of grammar, punctuation, and style errors?

Even at WriteOn Joliet, we'll have a room full of writers who will really like or dislike the way a string of words is assembled with a minority who emphatically disagree.

So in the end, I told her, "Instinct. I think when a writer reads and writes a lot, the write just knows."

What would you have said?