Saturday, September 24, 2016

Steward Setback Saturday: Egypt, Book Signing, and Trifle

The following email exchange originally ran on July 6, 2013. BTW, MOMI is Ed Calkins-ese for "Mistress of My Immortality."

Will Ed Calkins Attend the July 17 Book Signing? Only if He's not in Egypt....

O Steward,

Please see the attached flyer for the BryonySeries fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters of Will and Grundy Counties.

It's from 6 to 7:30 p.m., July 17 at 417 Taylor Street in Joliet, Illinois. Chef in training Timothy Baran will be serving "Darlene's Trifle" from the cookbook, Memories in the Kitchen: Bites and Nibbles from "Bryony," with all proceeds from all cookbook sales being donated to BBBS (

Plus, 30 percent of sales from all other BryonySeries product will also be donated. I'm sure many readers believe you're only a fictional character. I'm convinced that if you appear and sign a few books (and destroy any unbelievers through verse), you'll dispel any previous and thoroughly false notions.




The situation in Egypt may keep me from being able to attend, but I'll be there in person or spirit.  Once again, the country is playing an elaborate prank to try and draw me into taking over the country. I would threaten to insult them, but there lies another problem with an Ed Calkins run Egypt.  

The Egyptians I know are always so nice, the only insult I could level at them is their dogs have bad breath. I can't count on the IVA (Irish Vampires Association).  As you know, the Irish have always be beholden to the country for inventing beer and then embracing a faith that forbids it's consumption (thus insuring a stable supply for the IVA). Resolving this problem is taxing my ability to sleep or spell words incorrectly.  

BTW, I haven't forgotten the ice cream plan or your daughter's ancestry (I DID IT), I'm just preoccupied.  

Ruthlessly yours, 

Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara

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