Monday, September 15, 2014

Guest Post by Sir Frederick Chook: Conversations Held From Top-Floor Windows, Part Three

A bit of word fun for a Monday morning, from one of my favorite bloggers.

Conversations Held From Top-Floor Windows, Part Three by Sir Frederick Chook
Penned upon the 23rd of May, 2014  

Mr Paternoster, the Ulster Patter Knockerupper,
 With his kepi cap and his figure like a bannister,
 Looking slim and dapper as he rapped upon the shutter
 Of the private chamber of the carpetbagger, Cannister.

“Good morning, Mr Cannister!,” quoth Mr Paternoster,
“I am the knockerupper of your upper neighbour, Foster,
 I’ve knocked up tinkers, thinkers, ministers and spinsters
 In Worcester, Chester, Leicester, Pinner and Westminster.”

“For a little silver, I can take my sturdy tapper,
 And rap upon your boudoir to wake you from your slumber.
 I draw it from its wrapper and produce a lovely clatter,
 A stimulating clamor not unlike a church-bell’s clapper.”

“Mr Paternoster,” replied the carpetbagger,
“You are a dratted bother and shall not get a copper.
 Your patter is but chatter without wit or tact or meter.
 Now kindly bugger off or I shall become improper.”

“And, further, if I ever hear again the pitter-patter
 Of your filthy slippers beneath my stately louver,
 You’ll share the fate and plight of the late Mrs Miter,
 The frightfully flighty East Brighton lamplighter.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Sir Frederick Chook is a foppish, transcendentalistic historian who lives variously by his wits, hand to mouth, la vie bohème, and in Melbourne with his wife, Lady Tanah Merah.

When not reading Milton and eating Stilton, he writes, ponders, models, delves into dusty archives, and gads about town. He has dabbled in student radio and in national politics, and is presently studying the ways of the shirt-sleeved archivist. He is a longhair, aspiring to one day be a greybeard. He has, once or twice, been described as “as mad as a bicycle.”

FrillyShirt is a compilation of articles, essays, reviews, photographs, artworks, question-and-answers, promotions, travelogues, diatribes, spirit journeys, cartoons, ululations and celebrations by Sir Frederick, his friends and contributing readers. Irregularly regular features include Teacup in a Storm, an etiquette column, and How to be Lovely, advanced speculations on the aesthetics of the self.

Other topics that pop up include fun things in and around Melbourne, art, nature, history, politics and schnauzers. Sir Frederick’s favorite color is all of them. Enjoy his writing? Drop him a telegram at

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