Friday, August 8, 2014

Newspaper Jokes for Timothy's 17th Birthday

Along with the discarded novella version of Bryony, the jokes below were part of the birthday package.
Yes, I know number four is missing, deleted on purpose, a bit insulting (aka Ed Calkins), not fit for print. 

Anyway, these are just another example of my re-entry into creativity after many decades, before I went completely to the dark side. ;)

1)      Q: On Sunday, why did Timothy stuff more papers than anyone else?
            A: He was on a roll.

2)      Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Sun Times.
Sun Times who?
Sun Times I just don’t want to deliver papers.

3)      Q: Why did the daily bags not mind papers being stuffed into them?
A: They were hooked.

 5)      Q: Why did Ron get old fast by delivering papers?
A: Because he worked for man-agers.

6)      Q: What kind of bags are good to eat?
A: Sundae bags.

7)      Q: What kind of a raft will not keep one from downing?
A: A paper buoy.

8)      Q: When business got bad for the newspaper company, what did it do?
A: It folded.

Italian American Cultural Society hosts annual religious and food festival

It's this weekend, so if you're in the area, and even if you're not religious, the food sounds absolutely outstanding!

Pastor to retire from active ministry

He came into a parish with financial difficulties and fixed them. He addressed the HIV/AIDS issue at a time when few would not. He offered a holistic philosophy before that term became chic. AND he's hanging onto one portion of his community service, one he feels is extremely important to the community's future.

Joliet church now has a Little Free Library

Take a book, leave a book. Drive-through doesn't get better than this. Easy on the body, but a feast for the mind.

Joliet girls use STEM principles to build derby vehicle from used refrigerator

And they will race it around The Field Museum in Chicago on Aug. 23. The public is invited to watch.

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