Dear MOMI: (Mistress of My Immortality)
Not the least of my worries between emails has been my desire
to rack up more wives than King Solomon.
Ruthlessly yours,
I've been doing the
math and at this rate, I'm going to have to lower my standards. I fear that too
many women are responding to my proposal as did Melissa, by politely changing
the subject, thus exposing you, Denise, to the allegations of “setting a bad
example.”
Of course nobody realizes, (not even you) that time will
compel you to write the book The Great Women of are Times: The Wives of Ed
Calkins. Just a heads up, Solomon had six hundred.
If you're going to finish this book yourself, you might
consider getting started or suffer the fate of Chaucer who failed to finished
the number of tales promised by the plot he wrote.
By the way, Chaucer didn't sell as many copies as you did his first year, and he charged more!
I might suggest that
for Visage’s promotion that you include a marriage proposal form in the books
atlas. Let it state thus:
I, Ed Calkins, Steward of Tara, will promise to marry any
woman who acquires this form by purchasing a legal copy of Visage, paying the
full price herself.
My fear is that such women might expect me to pick up the
tab as might befit a proper suitor.
I'll write more as soon as I get word from my meteorologist
as to weather (pun intended) the desert land I'm trying to buy is going to be
lake front, or under the lake. (A touchy question).
Ed Calkins. the Steward of Tara
P.S. Don't forget the role of beer in history! You can
research it yourself if you don't know, or you can wait until I get exasperated
enough to rant about it in one of these new fangled email things.
No comments:
Post a Comment